obsessivemon Posted June 7, 2010 Share Posted June 7, 2010 This is quite hard for me to talk about, but here goes... The fact is, that I was always very shy growing up, and not really comfortable around people my age. I was always friendly with people, but I've never really had any very close friends, and now that I'm getting married I need to choose bridesmaids, and I have no idea what to do. I have one good friend at work, but I haven't known her very long, and she has another wedding to attend when it's my wedding so I can't ask her anyway. I feel so ashamed just admitting this, and it's constantly playing on my mind. I just don't know what to do... I can't not have any bridesmaids, because that's just admitting to everyone attending that I don't have any close friends to support me on my big day, and I'm terrified. Part of me hoped that my OH would never propose, because then I would never have to deal with this situation. I'm not quite sure why I've posted this, it's not like it will magically make some friends appear, but I guess I needed to tell someone, and get it off my chest... Thank you for reading Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starlet83 Posted June 7, 2010 Share Posted June 7, 2010 Do you have cousins or siblings? Or maybe a sister in law? Or even a closeish friend with a little girl or two who could be flower girls? on the other hand if you dont have any and anyone questions it you just need to say "I did not want to offend anyone by not asking them so i chose not to have any at all" I know someone who did that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
obsessivemon Posted June 7, 2010 Author Share Posted June 7, 2010 No, I'm an only child and I'm not that close to my cousins. My parents god-daughter who is 9 would be a bridesmaid, but I just feel like I need someone my own age to help me with everything... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starlet83 Posted June 7, 2010 Share Posted June 7, 2010 No, I'm an only child and I'm not that close to my cousins. My parents god-daughter who is 9 would be a bridesmaid, but I just feel like I need someone my own age to help me with everything... Hmmm I know what you mean, that bit of moral support. Not really sure what to suggest then. What about your OH's family? Does he have any sisters or sister in laws? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
obsessivemon Posted June 7, 2010 Author Share Posted June 7, 2010 He has a step sister, and there's his step-brother's wife, but we're not close. I have a few friends from school, but I haven't seen them in years. The rest of my friends are all friends of my OH, but I'm not close enough to any of them to ask them to be a bridesmaid. I thought I'd got over feeling lonely like this years ago! But when my friend from work said she couldn't make my wedding, I was devastated. She was the only person I wanted as a bridesmaid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starlet83 Posted June 7, 2010 Share Posted June 7, 2010 He has a step sister, and there's his step-brother's wife, but we're not close. I have a few friends from school, but I haven't seen them in years. The rest of my friends are all friends of my OH, but I'm not close enough to any of them to ask them to be a bridesmaid. I thought I'd got over feeling lonely like this years ago! But when my friend from work said she couldn't make my wedding, I was devastated. She was the only person I wanted as a bridesmaid. Have you spoke to her about it? Its really difficult! You may have to either have someone you are not that close to or just not have one and find a way to deal with your feelings. I really hope you get it sorted! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
obsessivemon Posted June 7, 2010 Author Share Posted June 7, 2010 Thank you! I haven't talked to her about it because she said she couldn't come because she was already being a bridesmaid, and I didn't want to make her feel any worse than she does because she can't come! Thank you for listening to me being miserable, it feels better just telling someone! Even my OH doesn't know how I feel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starlet83 Posted June 7, 2010 Share Posted June 7, 2010 Thank you! I haven't talked to her about it because she said she couldn't come because she was already being a bridesmaid, and I didn't want to make her feel any worse than she does because she can't come! Thank you for listening to me being miserable, it feels better just telling someone! Even my OH doesn't know how I feel Ah right I did not realise she was being a bridesmaid already! Dont worry too much about it. i have been to weddings that have just had flower girls so I dont think you need to worry on that front, I think its just the moral support thing you need to get round! You will figure something out. And talking to your OH might really help to be honest! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purrball Posted June 8, 2010 Share Posted June 8, 2010 I don't think anyone will bat an eyelid if you just have one young bridesmaid so please don't worry about that! The day is about you and your OH and that's all that really matters. Definitely talk to your OH about it, maybe he has some suggestions and at the least he will be able to offer you a bit more support. How about looking at an on the day wedding coordinator? All you need to do is read a wedding forum to see the number of 'argh, my bridesmaids are doing my head in!' posts to be put off the idea. In fact, would you like one of mine? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kthebean Posted June 8, 2010 Share Posted June 8, 2010 Hi, Firstly sorry you're feeling rubbish. Trust me many women feel rubbish about their wedding days for one reason or another. The main thing is that you enjoy it, don't worry about what anyone else thinks. As Starlet83 says you can always make up a silly excuse if anyone asks. Could your mum/nannan/other female relative help you out on the day? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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