Dont forget. Men are sometimes Victims of Domestic Violence too

[Suffragette1]

No, you and the others who are unwilling to believe someone can be both serious at times and also have a laugh.

Get over yourselves and get over my more lighthearted threads.

 

Well, whilst you OP may have engendered an interesting debate (in part), you can't blame people for questioning your credibility based on your posting history?

[mikmouse]

Well, whilst you OP may have engendered an interesting debate (in part), you can't blame people for questioning your credibility based on your posting history?

I dont blame them if im honest. I just blame then for being more interested in going on and on about preivious posts instead of contributing to a serious subject.

The fact im still able to have a laugh at anything is testomony to my strength of charcter becaue ill tell you all this, being beaten up by a women and being scared of your wife is nothing to be proud of.

[2001louise]

i hope to god that this thread isnt a p**stake as i have suffered from domestic violence from a ex partner, and believe me it isnt no fun being at the end of a slap for looking at him wrong, i have had fags put out on me, punches to the back of the head, clumps of hair pulled out, kicks to the legs,headbutted, car door slammed on my fingers, breaking 2 off them, ice scraper threw at me, being held up by my throat and punched in the head, ear being bitten, and nose broken by his knee, the list is endless, this all happened behind closed doors, outside in the real world he was a lovely partner but the nightmare began in the house, even my son when he was younger didnt call me mum he called me slag, as he heard his dad call it me so many time he thought that was my name. it took all my strength to leave the bas**rd,but i found that strength but it was damn hard due to the belittlement

[DragonofAna]

Some posters may want to destroy this thread by dredging up other posts by the OP, but it is a serious topic and deserving of discussion.

I know there are several members of the forum who suffer abuse in one way or another and some who perhaps fear posting about this but can see they are not alone.

 

As an outsider looking in, it is difficult to know what to do in these situations. The person being abused is the one who needs make the decisions, and all an onlooker can do is try to be as supportive as possible. It's not much, and has left me feeling pretty useless, but at least it is something.

[Weazel2006]

Best to not interfere period, eventually the victim will see sense and that's when the healing can begin.

 

Your no less a man if you are subject to this abuse, but you do deserve much better.

 

Anyone in a relationship with someone who is abusive, manipulative or dangerous should leave and never look back.

[DragonofAna]

Best to not interfere period, eventually the victim will see sense and that's when the healing can begin.

 

Your no less a man if you are subject to this abuse, but you do deserve much better.

 

Anyone in a relationship with someone who is abusive, manipulative or dangerous should leave and never look back.

 

I agree, but I understand that it is often easier said than done. There are the worries of facing the future alone (though it is unlikely alone for long); and the cost of being alone. And then there are emotional bonds - which is why many people put up with the abuse, and there is nothing that can be done about that other than to learn to cope with this, possibly lesser, pain.

[Suffragette1]

I agree, but I understand that it is often easier said than done. There are the worries of facing the future alone (though it is unlikely alone for long); and the cost of being alone. And then there are emotional bonds - which is why many people put up with the abuse, and there is nothing that can be done about that other than to learn to cope with this, possibly lesser, pain.

 

Not to mention the fact that people in that situation will have had their self-esteem totally eroded, as physical abuse often goes hand in hand with verbal abuse. They feel worthless and trapped, it becomes a vicious cycle as the fact that they are staying makes them feel even more worthless. It is totally disempowering and some people even normalise it as a coping mechanism. It's all very well saying (this is not directed at you, btw) that people should just walk away, if it were that easy, they would. When children are involved, it's even more complex.

[Weazel2006]

I agree, but I understand that it is often easier said than done. There are the worries of facing the future alone (though it is unlikely alone for long); and the cost of being alone. And then there are emotional bonds - which is why many people put up with the abuse, and there is nothing that can be done about that other than to learn to cope with this, possibly lesser, pain.

 

Things are often compounded by the fact that alot of abusers are oblivious to their actions or even see them as normal. The victim is then left wondering if they are the ones in the wrong and can lead to some pretty devestating affects.

 

Some try to change this behaviour, few succeed and most ultimately leave, taking with them a great deal of damage in need of repair, and sometime the abuser wondering why the hell it all happened.

[DragonofAna]

I find myself wondering if there is a profile for a female who will be responsible for domestic violence? Seems that size bears no relevance. Small females can be just as violent - physically and mentally as larger females. Looks have no thing to do with it either.

 

There seems to be no common denominator for females who inflict abuse on their partners.

[Suffragette1]

I find myself wondering if there is a profile for a female who will be responsible for domestic violence? Seems that size bears no relevance. Small females can be just as violent - physically and mentally as larger females. Looks have no thing to do with it either.

 

There seems to be no common denominator for females who inflict abuse on their partners.

 

That's probably because very little research has been carried out in this area and it's only been recently recognised as a problem. I'm sure that there are some common factors and I could hazard a guess at what some of them are. I know a few men who've been subjected to domestic abuse and the common denominator with the women involved, was that they had all been abused and grown up in violent households. They were very damaged and as a result had mental health issues, were chronically insecure and needy. That is not to say that this is the case with all women, I am just speaking from my own personal experience.