Bloomdido Posted June 20, 2010 Author Share Posted June 20, 2010 Surely in the eyes of a judge, he'd be old enough to decide for himself now.... and if its affecting his school work, surely they'd be able to see the records of his attendance and re-think the custody? He's old enough to get himself from Arbourthorne to Handsworth to get to school and he can get himself to mine now albeit with a bit of help and encouragement from his sister. The days of my ex trying to use legal aid and control of our children to get back at me have finally come to an end. Best Father's Day present I could have wished for. The girls managed to break away when they were similar ages. I dread to think how much this has cost the taxpayer. I might try to find out under the Freedom of Information Act. It has to be about £100k in total. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carly83 Posted June 20, 2010 Share Posted June 20, 2010 He's old enough to get himself from Arbourthorne to Handsworth to get to school and he can get himself to mine now albeit with a bit of help and encouragement from his sister. The days of my ex trying to use legal aid and control of our children to get back at me have finally come to an end. Best Father's Day present I could have wished for. The girls managed to break away when they were similar ages. I dread to think how much this has cost the taxpayer. I might try to find out under the Freedom of Information Act. It has to be about £100k in total. seriously if your son would rather live with you, and you want the same thing then get on to social services as his now at a age where they will take his opinion into things Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloomdido Posted June 20, 2010 Author Share Posted June 20, 2010 seriously if your son would rather live with you, and you want the same thing then get on to social services as his now at a age where they will take his opinion into things Been there and got several tee shirts. When the ex was being emotionally abusive and the child(ren) still in her care, I used to ring up the Duty Team to be told there was nothing they could do. Cost me £200 and a lot of grief to take it to court on more than one occasion. Yes, I had to pay to try to protect my children from their mother. I had to represent myself because a solicitor and barrister were beyond my reach financially. The system doesn't have a clue. I think they are too used to 'low life' cases slugging it out. I am a social work practice teacher, not a 'problem' parent. I work, earn above the average wage and pay a mortgage. My ex knew how to play the system, was (and still is) unemployed with time on her hands. She got legal aid and seemed to enjoy the attention. Looks like I will get the last laugh but it isn't funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carly83 Posted June 20, 2010 Share Posted June 20, 2010 Been there and got several tee shirts. When the ex was being emotionally abusive and the child(ren) still in her care, I used to ring up the Duty Team to be told there was nothing they could do. Cost me £200 and a lot of grief to take it to court on more than one occasion. Yes, I had to pay to try to protect my children from their mother. I had to represent myself because a solicitor and barrister were beyond my reach financially. The system doesn't have a clue. I think they are too used to 'low life' cases slugging it out. I am a social work practice teacher, not a 'problem' parent. I work, earn above the average wage and pay a mortgage. My ex knew how to play the system, was (and still is) unemployed with time on her hands. She got legal aid and seemed to enjoy the attention. Looks like I will get the last laugh but it isn't funny. some people don't deserve children! your ex sounds a lot like my mum in some respects, she would leave me to get on with stuff alone as i was a inconvinence (except for the benefit money she got!) its so screwed up the way the world still see's the 'mother' as the ideal parent rather than making judgements based on there own merit! a bit deep here but never mind!, my parents split when i was 7 and although my dad was not my biological father he fought for me to be included in the custody side of there divorce along with my brother and sister who are his. we the booze hound as i call her was awarded care and control and my dad got visiting rights being 2 hours on a tuesday and friday to sunday every other weekend. my mum went on to a string of drug popping drink guzzling fist swinging men, we were in and out of refuges every other month at least, one of these men filled our home with enough explosives to wipeout the whole street and it came close to new identitys and relocation well at that point i just couldn't handle any more so packed some clothes and told our social worker i was going to live with my dad and if they made me go back to my mums i would kill my self (think i proberly would of as well!) any they agreed that it was in my best interest to go to my dads but i really can't understand why it had to get so bad before they agreed my father was the better parent. i was living down south when all that happened (my dad is from sheffield but didnt move back to a few years ago) and i had moved to blackpool with my now hubby when i was 18, then to sheffield last year. my dad has a great job is remarried and has a lovely home he now owns and my brother moved here from down south last year as well got him self settled and is working full time and loving life, whilst my sister has repeated the cycle turned into a victim and is dragging 3 kids through hell, and lastly my mum whose 44 looks at least 55 is drinking on a daily basis and barely living and has a lonely life. which just re-enforces how wrong social services get things! needless to say ive got my own issues down to my past (brother and sister were babies for most part of the trouble and had me looking after them and protecting them from these blokes! so things were nothing like it for them as it was me) but all considering i think me and my brother have done quite well with our lifes just think it would of been easyer if my dad got custody from the off Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloomdido Posted June 27, 2010 Author Share Posted June 27, 2010 He's been with me for 9 days now. I texted his mother for suggestions regarding the situation on his fourth day here. I texted her again yesterday to say that he needed to collect clothes and stuff from her. His older sister has also been texting her and she hasn't been back since. Both of then are scared to go round there. She has not replied. As I hadn't heard from her, I took him to asda today to get uniform bits and supplies of clothes, which grates as she gets the child benefit. I just can't understand why she hasn't been in touch with any of her children to discuss the issue or to try and resolve it. It has dragged on to the point where it is going to be much more difficult to conclude. My son needs his mother. She is letting him down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ukstudent Posted June 27, 2010 Share Posted June 27, 2010 Theres a boy who lives on our road who makes his own way too and from school cause, as he's quoted to me 'His mum can't afford her busfare' or 'Shes on too much medication'. he's only 8 and i just can't imagine sending my boy(whos nearly 7) to school on his own until he's well into his teens! Doesn't sound good at all. Do you know anything else about the boy's family situation? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fibutton Posted June 27, 2010 Share Posted June 27, 2010 Bloomdido, do you or your ex still have an allocated social worker, or has the case been closed ? If not, chase them up (again), and explain the last few days with your son present, good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fibutton Posted June 27, 2010 Share Posted June 27, 2010 Also, which locality are you based in ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BananaSplit Posted June 27, 2010 Share Posted June 27, 2010 Do you not think someone ought to go round to her house and make sure she is actually OK? Regardless of your opinion of her, or how much the money issues obviously bother you, she is their Mum, and albeit she's not doing great right now, but this screams of depression to me. Do you know any of her neighbours or friends that could knock on the door just to make sure she's not done anything daft or is ill? If she is ignoring you, then fair do's, but it would play on my mind if I was you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harvey19 Posted June 27, 2010 Share Posted June 27, 2010 He's been with me for 9 days now. I texted his mother for suggestions regarding the situation on his fourth day here. I texted her again yesterday to say that he needed to collect clothes and stuff from her. His older sister has also been texting her and she hasn't been back since. Both of then are scared to go round there. She has not replied. As I hadn't heard from her, I took him to asda today to get uniform bits and supplies of clothes, which grates as she gets the child benefit. I just can't understand why she hasn't been in touch with any of her children to discuss the issue or to try and resolve it. It has dragged on to the point where it is going to be much more difficult to conclude. My son needs his mother. She is letting him down. Bloomdido have you considered that your wife may not be returning the text messages because she is ill ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.