Lifes little (often hurtful) twists!

[medusa]

you just ring her up and say " i love you "

my lady has cancer ,we never know if we will meet tomorrow and it causes some depression ,but every morning she texts me or i text her to let each other know were still here for each other ,another day in paradise and the world turns and the sun comes up ,makes little lovers tiffs seam like mole hills when you realise one day you wont be able to text or talk to her again, say everything you have to say when you can and let them know you love them

 

That one is a huge wake up call for your mind, isn't it? Every time I start my mobile phone up it brings up a message which says 'Growing older is much better than the alternative...' for exactly the same reason as you stated.

 

If things had been even slightly different medically I wouldn't be here now and would have shuffled off when I was 26. Remembering that and being thankful that my life didn't end when it 'should' have done is an important thing to me, even when I'm struggling with the disabilities that it brought with it. I welcome grey hair and look forward to the day that I'm old enough to be described as wrinkly- actually that's not true, I don't look forward to being wrinkly, I look forward to living long enough to be wrinkly.

 

Each moment is unique and merits being cherished for that, even if it's hard to see that around all the other stuff that's happening to you. Living in the moment and being genuinely thankful for that moment is very powerful.

 

I hope that you and your lady have many years left together and that you continue to find each day special.

[discodown]

I would try and take some time out, talk to as many people as possible who will listen, as it may help to get a different perspective. The idea of drawing up a list of pros and cons is also a good one, it may help you clarify the situation. If there is anything to learn (ie repetitive patterns of behaviour), try and reflect on it.

 

Once your 'heart' has settled down a bit, you may be able to intellectualise the situation/dilemma a bit more and reach some kind of resolution. It's always best never to act in haste or in the heat of the moment, try and give yourself a cooling off period.

 

Good luck!

Or alternatively just go with your gut instinct. If you get hurt you get hurt, thats how it goes

[Suffragette1]

Or alternatively just go with your gut instinct. If you get hurt you get hurt, thats how it goes

 

True, but that depends on whether the OP's gut instinct has been a good one in the past! Personally, if I'd always gone with my gut instinct and it had turned out disastrously, then I would no longer trust it and would go with the head.

[Suffragette1]

That one is a huge wake up call for your mind, isn't it? Every time I start my mobile phone up it brings up a message which says 'Growing older is much better than the alternative...' for exactly the same reason as you stated.

 

If things had been even slightly different medically I wouldn't be here now and would have shuffled off when I was 26. Remembering that and being thankful that my life didn't end when it 'should' have done is an important thing to me, even when I'm struggling with the disabilities that it brought with it. I welcome grey hair and look forward to the day that I'm old enough to be described as wrinkly- actually that's not true, I don't look forward to being wrinkly, I look forward to living long enough to be wrinkly.

 

Each moment is unique and merits being cherished for that, even if it's hard to see that around all the other stuff that's happening to you. Living in the moment and being genuinely thankful for that moment is very powerful.

 

I hope that you and your lady have many years left together and that you continue to find each day special.

 

You're right, every time I hear someone bemoan how they're getting old, I often think to myself (and sometimes say it;)), be thankful that you have that luxury, there are so many people out there who would have loved the opportunity to grow old, but it was snatched away from them.

[discodown]

True, but that depends on whether the OP's gut instinct has been a good one in the past! Personally, if I'd always gone with my gut instinct and it had turned out disastrously, then I would no longer trust it and would go with the head.

Maybe so, but its better to live an hour as a tiger then a whole lifetime as a kitten!

 

You can't intellectualize everything, sometimes you need to fail gloriously

[Suffragette1]

Maybe so, but its better to live an hour as a tiger then a whole lifetime as a kitten!

 

You can't intellectualize everything, sometimes you need to fail gloriously

 

I agree you can't and it depends on the situation, obviously.

 

And as I said, it also depends on the track record in the 'gut instinct' department. If I'd made the wrong call each and every time then I would use my head - simple!

[Ghozer]

True, but that depends on whether the OP's gut instinct has been a good one in the past! Personally, if I'd always gone with my gut instinct and it had turned out disastrously, then I would no longer trust it and would go with the head.

 

Which puts us exactly where we are - I went with the gut and the heart, and it turned out bad, i'm now following my head and while it might not be the best at the moment, in the long run it will probably turn out as the best option.

[Suffragette1]

Which puts us exactly where we are - I went with the gut and the heart, and it turned out bad, i'm now following my head and while it might not be the best at the moment, in the long run it will probably turn out as the best option.

 

I think that you've answered your own question. Solv-ed.

[hard2miss]

When things overwhelm you listening to hypnosis tapes can sometimes help or listen to some kind of soothing music or classical. Let you thought be else where for a bit and give the mind a rest.

Milling things over and over creates emotional frustration and feeling like you have no way to express yourself or find a solution will end up changing the chemical balance in the brain ending with clinical depression.

 

Things happen and there is no answer or way back to correct what you can see in retrospect, so People just draw the conclussion that somethings are how they are - hence the song 'Que sera, sera' Whatever will be, will be.

[medusa]

When things overwhelm you listening to hypnosis tapes can sometimes help or listen to some kind of soothing music or classical. Let you thought be else where for a bit and give the mind a rest.

Milling things over and over creates emotional frustration and feeling like you have no way to express yourself or find a solution will end up changing the chemical balance in the brain ending with clinical depression.

 

Things happen and there is no answer or way back to correct what you can see in retrospect, so People just draw the conclussion that somethings are how they are - hence the song 'Que sera, sera' Whatever will be, will be.

 

Sometimes having calm things happen works for me, but for the most part doing loud and cathartic things helps more.

 

The Michael Nyman piece written for the memorial service for the victims of the Heysel Stadium disaster is one of the pieces that gets me to connect with all of the internal turbulence and let it out. I don't think about much, I just seem to start crying somewhere in the middle of it.

 

Horses for courses, either way.