How do you stop your child from smoking?

[falpere]

Want advice more than anything. Having a bit of a raw deal at the mo' with my kids. Was warned by my parents about how they turn into strangers when they reach adolescence, but this is hitting me like a tonne of bricks!

 

My twelve year old came home this evening with his breath stinking like an ash tray.

 

I didn't make it an issue of it (learned from advice from another thread).

 

Anyone who has had similar dealings, and managed to sort the problem out with minimum hassle, please advise.

 

Thanks.

[DragonofAna]

You could leave literature about the risks of smoking related diseases laying around - especially one with not so nice graphic images.

I am a smoker and would do everything I could to prevent my children from smoking. It's bad enough that I do it. Sort of weirdly fortunate I have bouts of bronchitis and my coughing fits are a great deterant.

[falpere]

You could leave literature about the risks of smoking related diseases laying around - especially one with not so nice graphic images.I am a smoker and would do everything I could to prevent my children from smoking. It's bad enough that I do it. Sort of weirdly fortunate I have bouts of bronchitis and my coughing fits are a great deterant.

 

Good idea, but the stable door is already open. As you well know, these images don't stop you from smoking. Peer pressure is another factor and I am at a loss on how to prevent it.

[Guest sibon]

Want advice more than anything. Having a bit of a raw deal at the mo' with my kids. Was warned by my parents about how they turn into strangers when they reach adolescence, but this is hitting me like a tonne of bricks!

 

My twelve year old came home this evening with his breath stinking like an ash tray.

 

I didn't make it an issue of it (learned from advice from another thread).

 

Anyone who has had similar dealings, and managed to sort the problem out with minimum hassle, please advise.

 

Thanks.

 

I think that a lot of the advice on the other thread might help you with this one.

 

The short answer to your question is: You can't.

 

You can discuss it though, calmly. Find out why he is smoking. Make it clear that you don't approve. Unfortunately, you can't exercise total control over him, because he is too old for that.

[pattricia]

Good idea, but the stable door is already open. As you well know, these images don't stop you from smoking. Peer pressure is another factor and I am at a loss on how to prevent it.

 

I dont think you can stop it. They feel grown up when smoking, but its impossible for them to understand the dangers.

[DragonofAna]

Good idea, but the stable door is already open. As you well know, these images don't stop you from smoking. Peer pressure is another factor and I am at a loss on how to prevent it.

 

Get a mouth full of tomato ketchup and when your child comes in cough and spit out the ketchup. When child panics tell them not to worry - it's just the effects of passive smoking. Could have been worse if you actually smoked.

 

Scare tactics are generally best if you cannot speak to your child to find out why he/she is smoking.

[rich5315]

falpere, can i ask if you smoke, i know theres a lot of peer pressure on kids these days but its always easier for a child to give in to peer pressure when there parents smoke, because they see it all the time and think cus there parents do it then its ok for them, if you dont smoke then i wouldnt say leave literature about smoking about, what i would do is make sure they dont get the cash to buy them and also make smoking rules round the house like no go areas, theres always the worse case senario that its not just tobbacco they are smoking and one thing could but will lead to other things which does happen.also does he socialise with children older than himself?

[Lady Star]

Good idea, but the stable door is already open. As you well know, these images don't stop you from smoking. Peer pressure is another factor and I am at a loss on how to prevent it.

 

Peer pressure is something only weaker personalities buckle under from... It might be a bit late if your 12 year old is a bit 'meek' but if you have any younger kids, make sure that they get to make their own choices, and discuss why you do the things you do, it all helps them develop their own ideas, and when they have the capacity to think for themselves, they don't need their mates' ideas... It doesn't mean that they won't sometimes feel that a mates idea has value to it, but kids should be able to choose things for themselves and be able to back it with their mates, not be so weak willed that they need to follow the crowd... Not everyone can be a leader, it's true - but you don't have to be a sheep...

 

If your kid is under a lot of pressure in their own life, fags can seem tempting as they do relax you initially - it's just that this is something that eventually wears off... Talk to them about things that are worrying them - you might be suprised... Maybe take them to the doctors too - get them checked over and on a stop smoking plan...

[fox20thc]

You can't (short of locking them up - driving them to and from school and being there at break times).

 

You can educate them, give them the confidence to be different and not follow the crowd, it's a bit like the sex thing you can tell kids til you are blue in the face but they will do what they believe is right for them.

 

edit: to help stop it happening? Make sure they are not carrying lots of cash about easy to get cigarettes if you can pay for them. I had this with my teenager (a phase thankfully which has passed) and I just went through his pockets told him I knew he was smoking, told him he was stupid and if I ever caught him doing it I would come down on him like a tonne of bricks and that I expect him to respect my wishes.

 

Like I say - I THINK he doesn't smoke any more but he may well do, tell tale signs from tobacco bits in the pockets to believe it or not tobacco in the mobile phone under the battery case (it gets everywhere) so at the moment I'm confident that he isn't that careful and has jacked it in.

[medusa]

The one thing that I'd like you to understand falpere- I smoked from when I was 11, drank like a fish from when I was 12, went on the pill at 14 and still worked hard at school, went to university and did as many good things for myself and my family as I could.

 

On top of that, I gave up smoking and drinking completely when I was 17 and didn't touch alcohol at all for another 10 years afterwards, even though I was a student and living with a group of people for whom being drunk was a participation sport.

 

Your son is still your son and still has all of the lovely qualities that he had before you realised he was smoking.

 

Be calm, talk to him and make sure you tell him that even though you disapprove of him smoking, you love him anyway, and with a bit of luck he'll grow out of it like I did.