Why do i feel like i'm going to be on my own forever?

[Ghozer]

Well i've been single for a year now and to be honest i have never been single for this amount of time so it's a different experience for me.

 

to be honest, a year isn't that long... think how many of those "one years" there are in your life, and then work out the percentage... you say you have never been single for that ammount of time, this sounds to me as though you have been jumping from person to person till you found your ex.... this is never a good thing to do as NOT being single becomes the 'norm' and becomes habbit, even if you never had a partner that lasts longer than 6 months...

 

You should just start getting out and socialising, ease yourself back into a social life... come along to a Forum meet and get to know a few people, then you will have got used to meeting new people again, which should help when you find a hobby (take up fencing, or some martial arts, or even painting or something) which means you can get out and about, you'll have no problem

[Suffragette1]

to be honest, a year isn't that long... think how many of those "one years" there are in your life, and then work out the percentage... you say you have never been single for that ammount of time, this sounds to me as though you have been jumping from person to person till you found your ex.... this is never a good thing to do as NOT being single becomes the 'norm' and becomes habbit, even if you never had a partner that lasts longer than 6 months...

 

You should just start getting out and socialising, ease yourself back into a social life... come along to a Forum meet and get to know a few people, then you will have got used to meeting new people again, which should help when you find a hobby (take up fencing, or some martial arts, or even painting or something) which means you can get out and about, you'll have no problem

 

That's true, a year is not a long time.

 

However, in order to attract to someone else, you have to be in a good place and emotionally available, if you've not yet moved on from the previous relationship, then that is unlikely to happen.

 

It's also important not to fall into the trap of then using a new partner as someone to offload all your angst about the previous relationship breakdown onto and to start badmouthing the ex. I've seen this happen countless times and it's a very unhealthy and inauspicious start to a new relationship.

[Keith Rich]

Here's my story,

 

I have been single for quite a while now after being married for a few years, Unfortunately things didn't work out and we ended up separating.

 

I do have some health issues, Nothing too serious but basically i am a single parent, I have my child most of the time, Although my child's mum has my kid 2 sometimes 3 days a week as my child lives with me but we agreed to have joint custody.

 

I feel like i'm trapped? I moved to Sheffield a good few years ago to be with my ex and i have stayed here because of my child as i would never abandon my child like some men do, I still don't know hardly anyone in the area apart from my ex and her family.

 

I do feel as if i am not going to meet anyone, As i don't get much free time it's hard to go out and try and find someone, Also i can only just afford to pay my bills and buy food so can't really afford to go anywhere, But also as i have a few health issues and i'm a single parent and separated i feel that a lot of women would be put off by this and not be interested? Obviously there are plenty of nice women around but there's also a lot of not so nice women around who probably would not be very understanding and might care more about money.

 

To me money isn't everything, A good loving caring relationship is much more important to me, I just want to find a woman who will basically accept me for who i am and wants to be with me.

 

I'm not perfect but i guess no-one is, I have made mistakes in the past although i have learned from them, I'm not a bad person, i don't lie or cheat and don't have an ego or try to be someone i am not so i consider myself to be a decent enough person, I also don't smoke, Would never touch drugs and barely ever touch alcohol.

 

How can i be more positive and try and find someone nice who wants me for who i am? Because sometimes it gets me down a little bit when it seems as though i am going to remain single forever.

 

Try not to see being single as second best. Many people automatically think that being in a relationship is the be all and end all. Your life is what you make it. Forget looking for a partner and take up some new interests.

[Tipex]

Be single and freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[Alien]

Be single and freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

 

 

A relationship is not or shouldn't be defined as being trapped. Those that think so are usually those that need to be in control. Their partners tend to leave/break because of that.

 

You can as easily be in a relationship and "freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee". if you're prepared to give without the need to take.

[Alien]

That's true, a year is not a long time.

 

However, in order to attract to someone else, you have to be in a good place and emotionally available, if you've not yet moved on from the previous relationship, then that is unlikely to happen.

 

It's also important not to fall into the trap of then using a new partner as someone to offload all your angst about the previous relationship breakdown onto and to start badmouthing the ex. I've seen this happen countless times and it's a very unhealthy and inauspicious start to a new relationship.

 

It's a pity but in a lot of cases people are attracted by "baggage". They almost see themselves as healers..until it actually bites them in the butt.

[Suffragette1]

It's a pity but in a lot of cases people are attracted by "baggage". They almost see themselves as healers..until it actually bites them in the butt.

 

That's true, there are some out there who perceive themselves as problem fixers but in reality are very controlling. They're also frequently the types who believe that they can change somebody.

 

Everyone has emotional baggage, well anyone who's ever been in any kind of serious relationship. It's whether they've learnt from the past and dealt with the emotional side that's the issue, IMO. Repeating the same old patterns and not learning from the past can never be a good thing.