Bully, or bullied at school? How have you turned out?

[Bloomdido]

No I dont agree, some women have had terrible childhoods with no role model, but turn out to be loving mothers themselves dont they ?

 

Yes, my mother was abused as a child and she was loving but too protective of me. We all try to be good parents but some of us have more baggage than others and it does get in the way.

 

Our experiences make us who we are. What we do with those experiences is our choice but the choice is often defined by our upbringing.

[HeadingNorth]

No I dont agree, some women have had terrible childhoods with no role model, but turn out to be loving mothers themselves dont they ?

 

That doesn't disprove Bloomdido's point, though. Some people learn it from other sources, or reject what happened to themselves as being unacceptable. Some, though, clearly do not; some grow to adulthood believing, and accepting, that the abusive way they were treated is children is not only normal, but healthy.

[Mister M]

Well they cant have learnt much from their experience then.

 

That's what I think.

 

Of course children do what they need to do to get by, but the vast majority of people have empathy or at least an understanding of what others are experiencing. Therefore to put another through what you've been through seems beyond me.

 

I did read some research that those who bully others at school are much more likely to have convictions later in life for serious offences. So therefore it seems imperative that schools have an absolute duty to tackle the problem head on, rather than sweep it under the carpet.

[Bloomdido]

That's what I think.

 

Of course children do what they need to do to get by, but the vast majority of people have empathy or at least an understanding of what others are experiencing. Therefore to put another through what you've been through seems beyond me.

 

I did read some research that those who bully others at school are much more likely to have convictions later in life for serious offences. So therefore it seems imperative that schools have an absolute duty to tackle the problem head on, rather than sweep it under the carpet.

 

Evidence please.

[Mister M]

Evidence please.

 

http://www.antibullying.net/knowledge/questiononepmore1to3.htm

[donnygirl]

Mmmmm. Not all mothers had decent role models. If you don't know how to be a good mother, if you weren't given unconditional love a a child, then how do you learn to give it to your own children?

 

My mum wasn't the best role model in the world, although I guess that by the standards of the day and the area we lived in she didn't do too badly. However I cannot remember her ever giving me a hug or a kiss. As I grew up I realised that there are other ways to parent your child and I sort of decided to do what I thought my mum hadn't done. So my kids still get lots of hugs, attention, praise, phone calls, words of advice, Easter eggs, advent calendars and they are in their 20's.

 

When I was in secondary school I was teased; a group of others used to call me names. The same group used to do a lot worse to other kids. It was all often reported but nothing seemed to be done about it and I felt lucky that they only called me names.

[alternageek]

I was bullied from about age 7 (2nd grade) to about 17 (11th grade) and it made my life hell. I never fit or was like the other kids at school and as adult am still the same. I was physically and emotionally bullied. The school turned a blind eye and basically told my parents to teach me to have thicker skin.

 

The bullying had a negative effect on me as I dont trust people as easily as I should and generally keep people at a distance (even ones I consider friends)

 

At the same time, I dont let anyone walk all over me and Im not afraid to stand up for myself. I know i am now worth more than to let someone to push me over and take advantage of me. Also my mother was heavily involved with the Parents Association (PTA) in my area and she had put her main focus on bringing bullying to the spotlight, creating workshops to be taught on a state level. Right after Columbine happened in 1999, her work was brought forward on a National level to teach others how to protect their children. So some good has come out of my misery.

 

BTW all my bullies? Still living in the same town I grew up in and married with kids living in their parents basements/cellars. Me? Living abroad and having the world as my oyster.

[crookesey]

It's not just about school, they are everywhere, saddos who rarely make anything of their lives. I learned many years ago that you can't do anything about them, I'm not scared of anyone but would rather remind them of my success in life, such as it is, and let them squirm in their own nothingness.

[slimsid2000]

The bullies usually go on to do well for them selves in terms of getting girlfriend but the victims rarely do. Justice it is not.

[big un]

I was bullied at school. And like they say,you have to stand up them,I did so,I came out of it best,and it stopped. Most bullies when confronted on thier own are "paper tigers" No substance. Back then I was a skinny lad,7st. wet through. Id scare the life out of them nowadays,after many years going to the gym.

The thought of Me bullying someone else has never crossed My mind,not Me at all.