Bully, or bullied at school? How have you turned out?

[strangeart]

Read Jack London's White Fang at 11. Borrowed the techniques, had no further problems.

[artisan]

No I dont believe in that saying, if youve been bullied you never bully anyone else.

 

There is an exception to this.

It occurs in the armed forces, and in allied organisations such as the Merchant Navy.

It is known as beasting, in the armed forces I believe, or slagging.

It happens to everyone, as a right of passage I suppose.

And you pass it on to the poor souls who follow you in.

If you cant take it, you crack and go.

If you stand up to the regime, you are accepted and move on.

It happens in varying degrees throughout all society.

 

However, there are many sad people who take this too far.

They are the ones to watch out for, if they see you can be downtrodden they will do it.

Hard as it is for us decent folk, the only way is to face them down, dont forget, unless they are a psychopath, they are no stronger than you.

Give them like for like and they will soon back off.

[bluevan]

I wouldnt say I was a bully, but I wasnt a very nice child, I was very angry alot of the time due to my home life, Its funny but on facebook people request you as a friend and I remember being vile to them so i take the opportunity to apologise for how I was, And then some requests i send out must get ignored and I think perhaps I wasnt nice to them either? But ive turned out nice, I would do anything for anyone and try my best to be nice now, But ofcourse Ive grown up and changed alot. But yes for a girl i was nasty and always fighting, with boys and girls, I was an idiot! My mum always used to say "youth is wasted on the young" and god is she right lol Kathy

[Guest sibon]

Several posts have been removed from this thread. Please keep on topic.

[paulwilliams]

There is an exception to this.

It occurs in the armed forces, and in allied organisations such as the Merchant Navy.

It is known as beasting, in the armed forces I believe, or slagging.

It happens to everyone, as a right of passage I suppose.

And you pass it on to the poor souls who follow you in.

If you cant take it, you crack and go.

If you stand up to the regime, you are accepted and move on.

It happens in varying degrees throughout all society.

 

However, there are many sad people who take this too far.

They are the ones to watch out for, if they see you can be downtrodden they will do it.

Hard as it is for us decent folk, the only way is to face them down, dont forget, unless they are a psychopath, they are no stronger than you.

Give them like for like and they will soon back off.

 

I agree with this, this how I dealt with my problems in the end. I did find it very difficult to do though. I was always gripped with fear everytime I was in the same vacinity as my bullies. I think it was due to me being totaly fed up with lurking in the shadows that made me fight back. I'm glad I did it now.

[peak-polly]

Bullying sadly, does not end at school. A colleague of mine in Plymouth seven years ago was bullied over a year period by a dept manager. He became increasingly depressed and hanged himself one night at home. His wife and five year old daughter found him.

 

How i wish he had been strong enough to stand up to the bully. No one was aware of what was going on, he hid it so well. He told all in the note he left. I cant begin to imagine the pain it caused him....and his family as a result.

[sycamore66j]

I was bullied at school. And like they say,you have to stand up them,I did so,I came out of it best,and it stopped. Most bullies when confronted on thier own are "paper tigers" No substance. Back then I was a skinny lad,7st. wet through. Id scare the life out of them nowadays,after many years going to the gym.

The thought of Me bullying someone else has never crossed My mind,not Me at all.

 

well said big un, i was bullied at school from the age of 7 in junior school until i was about 13 in comprehensive, by the same lad who was the same age as me. it stopped shortly after i started playing rugby which toughened me up a lot. on the way home from school one day the bully approached me as usual looking for money or cigarettes. but this time i said no and when he tried to hit me i dragged him to the ground and gave him a taste of his own medicine. after that he never bothered me again. and in no way has it made me a bully . i am a bit over protective of my 2 young sons but thats all. and the bully...............he died from alcohol abuse in his mid 20,s.

[Lady Star]

Glad you have made good.

 

Do you think there is any truth in the old saying "The bullied become the bully's"?

 

I don't know anyone who was bullied at school who later became a bully - But then I have never heard of that particular saying either! I was bullied terribly from 7 years old to 11 when I went to comprehensive school... Towards the end the bullying took a weird turn and I was sexually assaulted by a small group of 10 year olds... Nothing was done by the school about any of it, and strangely for these times, nothing was done about the sexual assault either... This was all in the late 1980's, and things really were very different then... I knew I was targeted due to my academic abilities, and the fact that I went to a church school in a poor area yet my parents weren't poor and so my clothes and other items were more fashionable/expensive than those of the majority of my classmates... It was always obvious to me why, and I think that this helped me feel better about the abuse even in the darkest days... In my later life I have found I have no problems dealing with other people, I have a close clutch of friends and a decent job, went to uni, etc... The bullies are in many cases now dead, through drug addiction or met violent ends in gangs etc... I def won that one...

[paulwilliams]

I don't know anyone who was bullied at school who later became a bully - But then I have never heard of that particular saying either! I was bullied terribly from 7 years old to 11 when I went to comprehensive school... Towards the end the bullying took a weird turn and I was sexually assaulted by a small group of 10 year olds... Nothing was done by the school about any of it, and strangely for these times, nothing was done about the sexual assault either... This was all in the late 1980's, and things really were very different then... I knew I was targeted due to my academic abilities, and the fact that I went to a church school in a poor area yet my parents weren't poor and so my clothes and other items were more fashionable/expensive than those of the majority of my classmates... It was always obvious to me why, and I think that this helped me feel better about the abuse even in the darkest days... In my later life I have found I have no problems dealing with other people, I have a close clutch of friends and a decent job, went to uni, etc... The bullies are in many cases now dead, through drug addiction or met violent ends in gangs etc... I def won that one...

 

It is good that your past has had no adverse effect on how you are today.

[Jackie2141]

I was bullied at school, both physically and mentally. I suppose it was my own fault that it carried on all the way through secondary school because i never told anyone about it, as a result it has left me with no self confidence and find it difficult to trust people but on the otherhand i won`t let people walk all over me now and will stand up for myself if need be. But i have never bullied anyone as a result of being bullied myself.