Bully, or bullied at school? How have you turned out?

[funkymiss]

I am on Facebook book but no my friends are all over the world, I just feel safer over the Net! plus im too scared to even meet Real people.

 

It's really sad that people can scar other people so much. Have you ever had people tell you you are worth more than that? Close family? Have you thought about trying to get counselling to move on? You can't carry this with you forever.

[donkey]

I can't see many people admitting they were bullies. I wonder how many ex bullies even remember their behaviour let alone admit to it. Selective amnesia is a powerful thing.

[Mapoo]

It's really sad that people can scar other people so much. Have you ever had people tell you you are worth more than that? Close family? Have you thought about trying to get counselling to move on? You can't carry this with you forever.

 

Hiya, yes my Family love me to bits, but its difficult really, when i'm at Work I feel confident and can speak to people etc, but once I go home im back to Square 1, where I go back to the Shy mode. Thought about Counselling but never got round to it, don't think it would help me. Would nice to just have some friends to be able to go out together etc.

[Meem]

I went through a phase of being a bit of a bully when I was about ten. I was having a rough time at home and was in the process of developing mental health problems. I used to pick on a girl who had a nice family, she was very clever and had nice things. I was very, very, horribly jealous of her. I didn't really do anything that bad and we were friends later on in high school but it was definitely bullying behaviour which I am not proud of.

 

When someone is horrible to me now I always think 'what reason do you have to say that to me' I usually assume its because they are being belittled or feeling small in other area's or they are jealous - not because I'm 'reyt good' but because they feel like they have inadequacies. So I try not to let it get to me too much.

 

I don't think there is such a thing really as bullies and victims as I've also been bullied. But I think people who are severely bullied have a victim sort of personality and chronic bullies have severe issues in other area's. There is no one fits all solution such as saying bully victims become bullies, or that nice people are not bullies and horrible people are. Or that weak people are victims and strong people are bullies.

 

when you're having a nice day and everything is fine in your life you tend to want to be nice to people. If your a little child and you haven't been taught right from wrong properly it may be difficult to hold your negative feelings inside and not take them out on other people, which is what I try to do now I'm an adult.

[GrooveArmada]

Was never bullied but did often have many punch ups with bullies. Still do to this dayas a grown man. Have turned out alrite

[Evei]

I think there is almost two types of bullying.

 

The first is when a group of friends bullies one individual that used to be part of the group. My sister fell into this category, personally I had little sympathy for her as if people don't want to be your friend and are horrible when you are around why put up with it? I used to have to stick up for her for her to just try to hang around them when she clearly was not welcome After a year of being treated like dirt she eventually found some new friends who are lovely. It's part of growing up and finding your place. I'm not even sure it is bullying, but is counted as being.

 

The second is the indiviudal that is picked on without ever being friends with the bullies and they go out of the way to make life hell, I have sympathy for this case as it is out of the victims control.

[Sean A]

I was bullied by a bloke called Sean Trim at school, after I blagged my way out of the cane for a prank he and I were involved in. He, on the other hand, got lashed across the arse.

 

It never bothered me at the time at all, because he simply didn't scare me. Not sure why. He just didn't.

[Sean A]

I meant to add that I think bullying in the work place is as much an issue as at school.

 

Poor management can amount to bullying, and can have a huge effect on people's lives.

[purdyamos]

I can't see many people admitting they were bullies. I wonder how many ex bullies even remember their behaviour let alone admit to it. Selective amnesia is a powerful thing.

 

 

And it's also comforting for people to think that bullying is something that children do, presumably because they don't know any better. In fact it's what people do, it happens everywhere to some degree.

 

The dynamics of scapegoating are well understood but while people find it easy to condemn it when it goes on at a distance, they seem to be blind to it when it happens under their nose, in their own circle, and even more so when they do it themselves.

[Bulgarian]

I'm not sure that anyone likes someone for being violent or aggressive. I certainly don't.

 

I don't know, look how many wrestliong/fighting programs there are on TV now, kids worship the WWE wrestlers and adults admire the MMA fighters.