Dolz Posted July 17, 2010 Author Share Posted July 17, 2010 You need to get out of that enviroment ''as soon as'' it sounds dangerous and is bringing you down. He needs the help, but if he's refusing, what can you do? i know he needs help,but he wont take it,he thinks hes normal and everybody else are in the wrong,i no ive got to get out im really trying my best,when my nightmare is over ,i swear i have to do somthing to help other people in my shoes,cos ive tryed every avenue and got a brick wall Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolz Posted July 17, 2010 Author Share Posted July 17, 2010 i cant reach him theres no use anymore Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katy1981 Posted July 17, 2010 Share Posted July 17, 2010 i cant reach him theres no use anymore i think you are right, my dad was an alcoholic and i remember laying in bed and listening to him beat my mother black and blue everynight and i heard every punch land and when he hit hard enough i occassionly heard bones crunch it was horific! unfortunately he is in too deep it seems so will not be able to see the damage his drink has on anyone else im afraid. the best way is for him to find out why he drink admit the reasons is a better word, he needs to admit them and then do something about them otherwise he will always have what he thinks is a legitimate reason to drink and behave like he is. have you not anyone at all you can stay with temporarily? and im sure if you were willing to pay for your dogs food and stuff im sure someone would be willing to foster them for you while you get sorted out? can you ask work about talking some leave? or change your hours so he wont know then what time you start/finish? if not id quit and find another job then worry about a house or whatever. this is going to require you too make soem tough decisions and i know right now is seems hopeless and like no one is helping you but there is only you that can do this and if you have made it this far then you can make these decisions you ARE strong enough to do this. i know you wont want to be without your dogs while your sorting all this out but think about it this way it will take him a split second of drunken spite to see one of them and in the heat of the moment and rage he could easily hurt one of them or you and there may be no goin back from that. all i ask is you consider the temp fostering for your dogs and maybe a refuge for you (just for now) or a mate with a spare room or even a sofa. and talk to work it will help they may be able to help you. i wish you all the best and hope you make some changes for the better soon. these links should provide you with some help and/or info http://www.sdaf.org.uk/contactlists.asp http://www.alcoholissues.co.uk/living-alcoholic.html http://www.samaritans.org/ http://www.sywol.org/Help_in_Sheffield-69.asp http://www.sheafdas.co.uk/default.html http://www.sheffdap.org.uk/ these all provide info and support for you, also i think dogs trust will foster your dogs but im not 100% it might be worth calling to ask for info http://www.dogstrust.org.uk/ good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolz Posted July 17, 2010 Author Share Posted July 17, 2010 thanx for your comments ,and sorry to hear you went threw living with an alcoholic yourself,it must have been very hard for you as a child,and have no doubt long lasting bad memories,thanx for all the links ill try them over this weekend Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
truthwillout Posted July 17, 2010 Share Posted July 17, 2010 im sure i will ,im pulling out all the stops and actually found more help on this forum,he s a very clever man who manipulates people,he is so nice to evryones face,but so evil to me,i pity him and the rest of people who cant handle problems the correct way,he does need help, but ive tryed everything and got nowere,he also keeps saying he will set me up for a crime,cos he still has friends in the force and can do that,i no he can cos the storys hes told me of how theyve got convictions in the past is frightening,i always say its not justice then and he replies well iff we hadnt got then set up on somthing they will have committed other crimes which they got away with, so thats how he justifys his actions,so i believe him wen he says he could fit me up,so thays another concern i have,although my close friend s and family are aware of this cos iv told them,that iff it came to it they they have seen the tx messages hes wrote saying just that,and also no that im akind honest hard working person.hes the one committing the crimes everyday abusing me with his alcohol fulleld rages.thanx agen for you concernThis nice to other people and evil to you thing, I understand this so well, but the police will defo listen to you, they are faced with similar people all the time and can get past whats a front and whats not fast enough, obviously he has got the advantage of knowing how they are likely to go about doing that but if hes a boozer he will trip himself up somewhere. As for his stories regarding how they got convictions, im not discounting it, but an ex police officer wouldnt be daft enough to disclose this to anyone, I think hes just talking ****e to make you think you have no where to turn. Why are you having difficulty getting a house? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amaranthus Posted July 17, 2010 Share Posted July 17, 2010 Why are you having difficulty getting a house? Yeah, you should get priority housing for fleeing domestic violence Dolz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billo Posted July 17, 2010 Share Posted July 17, 2010 Get out and away from him, it does not matter how you do it just do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alien Posted July 17, 2010 Share Posted July 17, 2010 A medical problem?? If you feel the police are sidestepping the issue, inform them that you entered a thread on SF of your plight, and hundreds of people have been informed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattricia Posted July 17, 2010 Share Posted July 17, 2010 Get out and away from him, it does not matter how you do it just do it. I agree with this post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chimay Posted July 17, 2010 Share Posted July 17, 2010 Get out and away from him, it does not matter how you do it just do it. Unfortunately she's not ready to do that yet or she'd have just upped and gone to a shelter or friends/family instead of posting on SF. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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