Living with an alcoholic

[Dolz]

Unfortunately she's not ready to do that yet or she'd have just upped and gone to a shelter or friends/family instead of posting on SF.

 

I've contacted sheaf domestic ,I'm waitin for them to contact me,thanx everyone who's sent me links etc

[Dolz]

I'm finding it difficult to get a house because ,as soon as I mention I av the dogs they always say they won't accept them,an the fact I'm self employed an can't produce three years of accounts ,as have only been selfemplyed sixmonths,however I'm earning decent money,the rentel Market is so busy at the moment as it's hard to get a mortgage

 

As for setting people up, i no this is true because his family don't av anything to do with him , because of an incident that happened with his nieces boyfriend. Maybe sum of his stories arnt true cos I no he lies

[chimay]

I've contacted sheaf domestic ,I'm waitin for them to contact me,thanx everyone who's sent me links etc

 

Good luck Dolz. If you read my posts you will know that I had to escape from an alcoholic partner with my 2 year old son. Eventually I met a good man and a couple of weeks ago that good man and I watched my son graduate from Newcastle university. So you can change your life around but it's not easy.

[Ghostrider]

I'm currently live with an alcoholic,although he's in denial,I'm looking for a place of my own,he's an x policeman ,with alot of anger ,g

hatred ,jealousy,an as a very cruel streak.he's abusiv ,violent,aggressive towards me.everytime I say leavin or go to family he either threatens suiside or me ,iv been to Womens aid an they can do little,iv rang the police they say it's a medical matter,I'm a prisoner ,no one wants to help ,he went on a drinks binge last week ,he kept sending tx messages sayin he was going to do the same to me as that man who was on the run last week who shot his x an boyfriend ,then shot hiself,I rang the contact from womans aid left a message ,no1 got bak to me,it's only a matter of time bfor he carrys out sum fatality , but no 1 wants to no

I beleive that would class as a "threat to kill" - this carries a prison sentence of up to 5 years.

[Dolz]

I think so too,I av a voice recording of him threatening me too and my family,I'm just so scared to go to the police though

[Dolz]

Good luck Dolz. If you read my posts you will know that I had to escape from an alcoholic partner with my 2 year old son. Eventually I met a good man and a couple of weeks ago that good man and I watched my son graduate from Newcastle university. So you can change your life around but it's not easy.

 

Good on you,congrats too your son,an thanx for your advice,I no there's a better life waitin for me iv just got to go get it x

[crazy_chick]

wat dogs have u got dolz maybe mentioning them someone will help

[Dolz]

wat dogs have u got dolz maybe mentioning them someone will help

 

I av put an ad on forum for a tempory home till I get sorted out,they're only small ones ,a crossed toy poodle that luke like a shaggy cushion,bless,an the other is crossed jack Russell n terrior I think ,they re both rescue dogs

[spiritangel1]

dollz i think cinnamon trust foster animals can get number if you like xxx

[Suffragette1]

Dolz - I do hope that you manage to get sorted soon. I know that this link has already been provided, but it does provide a lot of local information as well as strategies for escaping the kind of situation that you're in.

 

My advice, for what it's worth, would be not to announce that you're leaving, as this often exacerbates the violence. Just leave when you're able to, when he's not around.

 

From the link:

 

SAFETY PLANNING - if you are worried that you may have to leave in a hurry, you could put important documents in a safe place where you can get at them easily, for example:

 

* your National Insurance Number card, which is important for establishing your identity, especially when claiming benefits

 

 

* or your driver's licence or passport

 

 

* important photos or personal documents

 

 

* bank cards or money you have managed to save

 

 

* if you have children remember to include your child benefit book, and their birth certificates and medical records ('red books' in Sheffield ).

 

You could consider keeping these things in a bag somewhere in the house, or with a neighbour or friend, who you trust to tell about your safety plan, and about any 'code words' or signals that you might use when you need them to ring the police on your behalf if things get dangerous. You could also store emergency phone numbers in your own, or your child's, mobile phone.

 

If you are likely to go to a women's refuge or temporary accommodation, try to take changes of clothes, sleepwear, towels and toiletries, and any favourite toys, but the important thing is to be safe, and many women and children do leave with just the clothes they are wearing at the time.

 

Women often leave more than once, and return to their partners hoping for an improvement in the relationship, or because of financial and social pressures, then find they have to leave again. Do not be afraid to seek help whenever you need it - women leave, or take out injunctions, many times before being able to make a final break. The police and other agencies are much more aware now that leaving domestic abuse is a very difficult process, and that the point of leaving can be the most dangerous time.

As you've discovered at great cost, you cannot help people who refuse to be helped or don't even acknowledge that they have a problem in the first place.

 

I wish you the very best of luck.