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Cheap burials or cremations.


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Not joking at all. In a cremation they usually use plastic handles which just combust and cause no problem. If they're metal they take them out (along with any other metal components such as hip replacements and other implants) when they remove the ashes, before placing the 'ashes' in the cremulator.

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Burial at sea is cheap, no coffin needed and no ecological worries either. An hours fishing trip from Brid' can be had for £25.

 

If you really are struggling with the cost you can take a night fishing trip to the lake in Crookes Valley Park, pop kiddies armbands on the loved one, push them off into the middle then pop the armbands with an air rifle or Jockey Wilson Darts set as you give the eulogy.

 

You might want to check that before you decide on it ... I was told that it's against the law to dispose of a body in the sea ... something about pollution.

 

You might also have a problem with Health & Safety. - How are you going to stop the gravediggers from drowning?

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