rubydazzler Posted July 16, 2010 Share Posted July 16, 2010 He does actually know about this great news about the graduation, does he? Who would have told him? And would they have told him what was expected of him? It's a shame that they don't have a better relationship. Because my personal reaction would be to expect the successful graduate to be on the phone to me spilling out the good news, and receiving my congratulations in person. He is her grandfather after all, why should he make the first move, maybe he thinks that youth should go to age and not vice versa? And, additionally, you know what most men are like, if the card industry depended on their patronage, they'd all be bankrupt tomorrow! I know you probably want to give him a piece of your mind and force him to be the grandfather all children dream of, because I would myself. But it's far too late for that, and least said, soonest mended. probably. My advice would be for her to drop him a card with her good news, and see what happens then. Congratulations to her, btw, she must have worked really hard to get such fabulous results, or be blessed with a huuuuge brain! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rupert_Baehr Posted July 16, 2010 Share Posted July 16, 2010 This has been driving me crazy and I'd like some advice. Our eldest graduated from college at the end of May. She's a good kid. She works, does community service, has never been in trouble with the law, etc. I should add that she graduated a double major. He's a widower, has been blessed with extremely good health for a man his age and is still quite sharp mentally, so it's not that. He is well fixed financially, travels at least six months out of the year, has an active social life and a wide circle of friends and acquaintences, most of whom are very pleasant. So he knows how to behave properly. ... Well, what does everyone think? Your daughter has obtained a degree. (forget the 'double Major' bit ... it's a degree with 2 major subjects.) Good for her! Your father isn't impressed -( That's his choice; there is no law which says he has to be impressed by anything your kids do, is there?) You're upset. Would you care to tell the whole world (and his dog) why you feel your father should send some money to your daughter? What do you mean by 'behave properly'? - Send you money as well? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rupert_Baehr Posted July 16, 2010 Share Posted July 16, 2010 Please arrange this well-known phrase or saying: Bitch Greedy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rubydazzler Posted July 16, 2010 Share Posted July 16, 2010 Come on Rupert, that's not very nice, is it? tsk! Unless you happen to be the Grandpa? It is a tradition even in the UK to give cards and gifts on graduation. Parents and grandparents often give quite large money gifts, as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rupert_Baehr Posted July 17, 2010 Share Posted July 17, 2010 At the moment, Ruby, I'm a really 'grumpy grandpa' - I'm full of 'lizard spit' and it's making me feel really barbary ...Not quite as bad as the original owner - but 'up there'. I'm a grandpa. The sun shines from my grand children's fundaments.:hihi: They can do no wrong. I'm really lucky. - My son is a decent human being (the transmogrification happened at about the same time that I stopped being 'the dumbest arsehole in the universe' ) From what she said, Sierra is upset because her dad (who is [apparently] now a rich man, because his wife is dead and he doesn't need all that money to spend on himself) hasn't sent a bucket-load of money to her daughter. I think that's outrageous. Hence my post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rubydazzler Posted July 17, 2010 Share Posted July 17, 2010 At the moment, Ruby, I'm a really 'grumpy grandpa' - I'm full of 'lizard spit' and it's making me feel really barbary ...Not quite as bad as the original owner - but 'up there'. I'm a grandpa. The sun shines from my grand children's fundaments.:hihi: I'm really lucky. - My son is a decent human being (the transmogrification happened at about the same time that I stopped being 'the dumbest arsehole in the universe' ) From what she said, Sierra is upset because her dad (who is [apparently] now a rich man, because his wife is dead and he doesn't need all that money to spend on himself) hasn't sent a bucket-load of money to her daughter. I think that's outrageous. Hence my post. Go back and read it again, that's not what she said at all. She said he'd not even called or sent a card, let alone a gift. That could be flowers or anything, even a little bear wearing a mortar board and holding a diploma! Something to mark the occasion. I think it was someone else mentioned money being promised to their son, not Sierra. I don't know what lizard spit is, but it doesn't sound very tasty! Now be nice, like you usually are ... we don't like lizard people, do we? Well, not if we're David Icke, we don't , Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rupert_Baehr Posted July 17, 2010 Share Posted July 17, 2010 I read it again ... and I'm still not convinced... Well, not entirely. I am, however, prepared to apologise (in the event that I got it wrong...) There's no mileage for me (or for anybody else, for that matter) in being deliberatley mean ... so If I misread the post, I'm sorry. If the granddad (watch me turn on him ) couldn't be bothered even to acknowledge his granddaughter's achievement, that's sad indeed. Everything my grandchildren do is amazing and earth-shattering (they are, after all, my grand children. ) I would hate to miss anything they do. I can't understand how any granddad (one worth the name, anyway) could fail to acknowledge the achievements of a grandchild ... unless, of course, he is prepared to ignore his own immortality (Our grand children define our mortality. We die. They live on. We are immortal through them ) We're allowed to say what we like (more or less) on this forum. Thanks for rallying to Sierra's defence, Ruby (I genuinely do appreciate that.) It would be interesting to read her own comment. None of this is intended to reduce the apology if I got it wrong. I do have a very sharp tongue (years of practice of gargling with razorblades) and I'm certainly aware that I can (and do) screw up. I do try to be nice.... (sometimes) I keep looking at my skin to see if it's going to develop orange and black patches.... My breath is OK (though the Gila Monster's breath is reputed [not true] to be deadly.) I am enjoying the warm weather... 43 in the sun on the patio today and the flies were really tasty. Maybe by next week the next crop of strawberriea will be ready and I can go vegetarian ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadnBad Posted July 17, 2010 Share Posted July 17, 2010 So what you're saying is that your step grandfather hasn't congratulated your daughter on her success at college and that you're annoyed about it. That leaves the questions 1. Do you keep in touch with him to let him know how everyone is getting on. 2. Do you visit him often so that he feels close to your side of the family. 3. Do you treat him well when you see and speak to him. I ask these questions because my dad visits my eldest sister quite often he tries to take an interest in her family and how things are going he has helped her out financially and does his best for them. But he gets no thanks and is often snubbed and ignored by her and the children and often feels that he is not wanted by them, they never go and visit him or initiate the phone calls so he would have every right to sideline them in his life. In other words if you just expect him to make all the moves then you are being very selfish and inconsiderate to him. I assume from the way you speak in your post you are not that close to him you indeed sound like it's all you can do just to be civil which no doubt he is aware of. Mind you i don't know what awful thing's it is you allude to so i guess i'm not in a position to judge your relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sierra Posted July 17, 2010 Author Share Posted July 17, 2010 He does actually know about this great news about the graduation, does he? Who would have told him? And would they have told him what was expected of him? It's a shame that they don't have a better relationship. Because my personal reaction would be to expect the successful graduate to be on the phone to me spilling out the good news, and receiving my congratulations in person. He is her grandfather after all, why should he make the first move, maybe he thinks that youth should go to age and not vice versa? And, additionally, you know what most men are like, if the card industry depended on their patronage, they'd all be bankrupt tomorrow! I know you probably want to give him a piece of your mind and force him to be the grandfather all children dream of, because I would myself. But it's far too late for that, and least said, soonest mended. probably. My advice would be for her to drop him a card with her good news, and see what happens then. Congratulations to her, btw, she must have worked really hard to get such fabulous results, or be blessed with a huuuuge brain! ruby, he does know. He was invited to the graduation but was unable to attend. We saw him about two weeks after the event and we gave him a set of pictures to enjoy. We'll probably have a get together later for family and friends to which he will also naturally be invited. It's quite hot here this time of year. Much pleasanter to wait until it cools down a bit. My daughter has also kept in touch (mostly one sided of course) with her grandfather and kept him up to speed on her activities, so it's not like this is a surprise. He knew it was coming. I guess more than anything, I'm disappointed that he even refuses to acknowledge her hard work. And she did work hard. She is his first grandchild to graduate from college and well, it really, really hurts. Roop. Greedy bitch? Seriously? Are you drunk? I don't even know how to retort to something so unnecessarily nasty and unprovoked. I've been a member of this forum for nearly six years and was even a mod for a while. In all that time NO ONE has ever been this rude to me, ev-ar. Christ. Even people I banned never called me names. But congratulations. You've managed to do in two posts what no one else was able to accomplish in six years. Make me cry. I'm not sobbing, but I am sniffling and the monitor in front of me is blurred. To suggest that I have no right to expect that my father in law would take pride in his grandchild's accomplishments or that I'm a greedy bitch makes me believe that you are coming from someplace twisted. Do me a favor, would you? Stay there. And it's my father in law, not my father. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alien Posted July 17, 2010 Share Posted July 17, 2010 He probably finds it natural to receive acknowledgement from friends and acquaintances even though he probably doesn't understand the reason why...the adulation is enough. Just reading your post I whiff "lack of empathy" from the man. He and himself seem the centre of anything important. As ruby implied...acknowledgement, that's all, and usually enough. If you go looking for it, it will never feel quite the same as freely receiving it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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