Lying to kids about heaven.. why insult their intelligence? ?

[katy1981]

maybe because we dont want them to have to worrying about dying just yet and want them to enjoy their younger years without having too worry about when they die.

 

my dad died last year and my son asked about heaven i told him that some people belived it exsisted but some people didnt think it did, i told him it was up to him if he belived it or not, so he asked if there is no heaven where has grandad gone? i told him the truth my son also went to the funeral but he was asked if he wanted to go and he said yes even after i explained what would happen.

after all the talkin we did he decided he would prefer to belive in heaven because at least he would know that way grandad would be up there and happy and that made him less sad about missing his grandad and stopped him worrying about the fact that one day me and his dad will die too

 

i think my son understands there is a chance heaven isnt real but he chooses to belive because it makes him less afraid, and anything that will make him less afraid is fine in my book.

[Karis]

I agree with you to a point, Danot, but I've been thinking about this a great deal lately, and how we basically lie to our children to control them.

 

We raise them on a bed of lies. If you are bad then Santa won't come. If you are bad you'll to go Hell.

 

It's basically conditioning kids that lying is OK, and we reinforce this over the years with various deceptions.

 

If we were just open with them, maybe we'd raise a generation of open children.

 

Believing in the Easter Bunny is fantastical and amazing and wonderful, but using any of those things as a control mechanism, is really sloppy parenting.

 

Using them positively is magical and educational.

[danot]

Of course we will all be together one day.

Why tell lies about death being final.

It is merely a transitional stage between one section of infinity and another.

Dont think you get away with it as easily as dying, you have a long road to travel yet.

Delusional clap-trap. I suppose you also believe that david copperfield(the magician) actually does have the ability to make buildings disappear. After all, anything beyond your understanding that's miraculous must be divine, therefore it must be real... right?.

[katy1981]

I agree with you to a point, Danot, but I've been thinking about this a great deal lately, and how we basically lie to our children to control them.

 

We raise them on a bed of lies. If you are bad then Santa won't come. If you are bad you'll to go Hell.

 

It's basically conditioning kids that lying is OK, and we reinforce this over the years with various deceptions.

 

If we were just open with them, maybe we'd raise a generation of open children.

 

Believing in the Easter Bunny is fantastical and amazing and wonderful, but using any of those things as a control mechanism, is really sloppy parenting.

 

Using them positively is magical and educational.

 

i kinnda see your point here but

 

i think maybe your taking it a little far, my son stopped beliveing in santa and everything else when was about 8 so its hardly a life long lie is it? i dont think its about controlling them.

 

for me it was about teaching them that if you behave and follow rules you will be rewarded plus i think its healthy for kids to belive in magic as they are only young for such a short space of time they have years to deal with "grown up" stuff. every year my son is told that if he does well in his end of year report he will get a treat that he can pick and we will get it him, is this controlling him?

[danot]

I agree with you to a point, Danot, but I've been thinking about this a great deal lately, and how we basically lie to our children to control them.

 

We raise them on a bed of lies. If you are bad then Santa won't come. If you are bad you'll to go Hell.

 

It's basically conditioning kids that lying is OK, and we reinforce this over the years with various deceptions.

 

If we were just open with them, maybe we'd raise a generation of open children.

 

Believing in the Easter Bunny is fantastical and amazing and wonderful, but using any of those things as a control mechanism, is really sloppy parenting.

 

Using them positively is magical and educational.

Believing in santa and the easter bunny isn't tainted with the underlying fear of eternal damnation should they ever stop believing. Parents are fully aware that their children will eventually out grow the idea of the e/bunny & santa being real when they ultimately realise that these things are in actuality not real. Therefore, misleading a child into believing that the easter bunny and santa are real, can in no way be compared to misleading a child into believing that when mummy and daddy die, they'll be waiting for him/her in heaven.

[danot]

i kinnda see your point here but

 

i think maybe your taking it a little far, my son stopped beliveing in santa and everything else when was about 8 so its hardly a life long lie is it? i dont think its about controlling them.

 

for me it was about teaching them that if you behave and follow rules you will be rewarded plus i think its healthy for kids to belive in magic as they are only young for such a short space of time they have years to deal with "grown up" stuff. every year my son is told that if he does well in his end of year report he will get a treat that he can pick and we will get it him, is this controlling him?

Of course it's controlling him, that's you're duty being his parent. Children can't handle being given too many choices, they prosper with stability, order and routine.

[Joanl]

Believing in santa and the easter bunny isn't tainted with the underlying fear of eternal damnation should they ever stop believing. Parents are fully aware that their children will eventually out grow the idea of the e/bunny & santa being real when they ultimately realise that these things are in actuality not real. Therefore, misleading a child into believing that the easter bunny and santa are real, can in no way be compared to misleading a child into believing that when mummy and daddy die, they'll be waiting for him/her in heaven.

 

Well they aren't going to be upset at you if/when you aren't and if it gives them some comfort in this life, then where's the harm.

[artisan]

Delusional clap-trap. I suppose you also believe that david copperfield(the magician) actually does have the ability to make buildings disappear. After all, anything beyond your understanding that's miraculous must be divine, therefore it must be real... right?.

 

How do you know?

Do you have some way of telling all this?

To compare a magicians tricks to the ending of human conciousness is a massive leap.

But if you want oblivion, then it is a great disappointment you are in for.

You dont wriggle off the hook so easily.

[danot]

Well they aren't going to be upset at you if/when you aren't and if it gives them some comfort in this life, then where's the harm.

I'm merely questioning the pro's and cons of spoon feeding children with none sense, especially when the only objective is to sweep over awkward questions they ask regarding the harsh realities of life.

[Eater Sundae]

Believing in santa and the easter bunny isn't tainted with the underlying fear of eternal damnation should they ever stop believing. Parents are fully aware that their children will eventually out grow the idea of the e/bunny & santa being real when they ultimately realise that these things are in actuality not real. Therefore, misleading a child into believing that the easter bunny and santa are real, can in no way be compared to misleading a child into believing that when mummy and daddy die, they'll be waiting for him/her in heaven.

 

WHAT???? Since when? Why wasn't I told? I should have been told.:D