Lying to kids about heaven.. why insult their intelligence? ?

[medusa]

None of the answers so far have yet addressed the fact that conceptually children may not understand 'death' until they are 6 to 8 years old anyway and that the person trying to explain it all to the child may also be struggling with acute grief and finding it very hard to explain to the child that the person is still dead.

 

If a child cannot conceptually understand death as a permanent situation, what then? Do you tell the child that the dead person has gone to live somewhere else, or that they have 'gone away' if they are the only concepts that the child understands?

 

My niece believes in god as a benevolent man who looks after her family and her mummy when she's at work and can't be at home. Who am I to tear this apart because I don't believe in the same things?

 

She is 6 years old and developing emotionally every day and I know that this belief will change over time, but it's her belief and it helps her make sense of where she is. It helps her to believe that god is looking after her sick friend and that the cat (which was actually torn apart by dogs out of her sight) is in heaven. Why should I try to tear this apart?

 

We describe all sorts of things in a less than accurate way to children, often because their conceptual grasp is not developed enough to take in the full truth. They will develop into making up their own minds about these things when they are able to do so.

[Karis]

Medusa. I think it'slike sex ed. You wait util the child is old enough to understand, and then ease them in gently.

[medusa]

Medusa. I think it'slike sex ed. You wait util the child is old enough to understand, and then ease them in gently.

 

And if they need to deal with a death of a close relative before they can fully understand what's going on? They need to be told something.

[danot]

None of the answers so far have yet addressed the fact that conceptually children may not understand 'death' until they are 6 to 8 years old anyway and that the person trying to explain it all to the child may also be struggling with acute grief and finding it very hard to explain to the child that the person is still dead.

 

If a child cannot conceptually understand death as a permanent situation, what then? Do you tell the child that the dead person has gone to live somewhere else, or that they have 'gone away' if they are the only concepts that the child understands?

 

My niece believes in god as a benevolent man who looks after her family and her mummy when she's at work and can't be at home. Who am I to tear this apart because I don't believe in the same things?

 

She is 6 years old and developing emotionally every day and I know that this belief will change over time, but it's her belief and it helps her make sense of where she is. It helps her to believe that god is looking after her sick friend and that the cat (which was actually torn apart by dogs out of her sight) is in heaven. Why should I try to tear this apart?

 

We describe all sorts of things in a less than accurate way to children, often because their conceptual grasp is not developed enough to take in the full truth. They will develop into making up their own minds about these things when they are able to do so.

 

My bold

 

When that time comes, will it be faith or fear that makes them decide?... that's the question.

[Karis]

There was lots of death in my life as a child. I had a huge family and the elders were dying all the time.

 

I think I was pretty familiar with death from a very early age, and I think I'm a lot more balanced than others, who obsess over death and worry about it constantly.

 

I paid my first respects to a dead great grandmother when I was six and it really puts death into perspective. In a good way.

 

Earlier is better. But what you tell them - that's the interesting part.

 

Maybe telling them they've gone to "another place" (where there's no more pain and suffering) is the best policy. Then children can discover the details when they get older.

 

It's a tricky one, all right... Ultimately, it depends on the child.

[artisan]

The probability of we being the only life in this universe is zero, the mere claim is preposterous.

 

My bold

:hihi:You funny!

 

Read the post, I said Human life, of which there is no possibility anywhere else.

You are unique, like it or not.

Whatever you do in your life, you are responsible for, no one else.

[Karis]

Why not? If we were put here by another race, there's the possibility that there are billions of humans out there in the universe.

 

Anything is possible.

[artisan]

My bold

 

When that time comes, will it be faith or fear that makes them decide?... that's the question.

 

What has made you decide on your opinion?

Surely it is by calm thinking analysis of what you see around you.

Don't be told what to think, for along that road is disaster.

[Karis]

Don't be told what to think, for along that road is disaster.

 

What, you mean, *exactly* what you're doing: speaking in absolutes about - well - pretty much everything!

[artisan]

Why not? If we were put here by another race, there's the possibility that there are billions of humans out there in the universe.

 

Anything is possible.

 

Great as that idea is, it is not the fact.

Unfortunately we are the greatest of the Great Apes.

The difference being that we, out of all the animals, has human intelligence.

A timeshift seems to have occurred with us.

Even our closest relatives, chimps, are millions of years behind us, what we have achieved since the end of the Ice Age is ... well, I don't know how to compare it, as there is no compare.