Would you adopt?

[Tipex]

I've always wondered what it would be like to adopt a child, and how i'd cope with certain situations.

 

Would i love someone else's child? would i cope with the problems he/she may suffer?, ect.

 

I don't have children of my own and to be honest i'm not ready for any, but in the near future i'd consider adoption.

 

I suppose i'd want to adopt a child to give it some love and hope, either toddler or teenager.

[jonous101]

It's funny you starting this thread, i was only speaking to my partner about this the other day and we would like to adopt, a small child tho, so we can bring him/her up. I was going to start a thread on here asking if anyone had adopted and how long the process was. We get married in 2012 and would like to adopt soon after that, then in a few years have our own baby so they can grown up together.

I'd love to be able to make a difference in someone's life and give them a loving home so that they can grow up in the best possible way

[Tipex]

It's funny you starting this thread, i was only speaking to my partner about this the other day and we would like to adopt, a small child tho, so we can bring him/her up. I was going to start a thread on here asking if anyone had adopted and how long the process was. We get married in 2012 and would like to adopt soon after that, then in a few years have our own baby so they can grown up together.

I'd love to be able to make a difference in someone's life and give them a loving home so that they can grow up in the best possible way

 

Ahh thats wonderful:) goodluck to you both.

 

Back to thread:

 

How do you think the adopted child may react to you having a child of your own? and how would you deal with it if the problem occurred.

[jonous101]

That is why i would want the adopted child first - i think this would cause less problems. Once they were of a age where they could understand then i would explain that i did not give birth to them, but that doesn't matter because i am their mum and always would be and hopefully because they would be treated exactly the same, there would not be any resentment or jealousy.

That is one reason why i would like the adopted child to be young when we get them, because in my job i see so many children in care who have 'attitude problems' and 'behaviour problems' and end up turning to a life of crime and all because they are moved pillar to post and hopefully we could make sure they don't remember their unhappy life before they came to us.

I know i've not directly answered your question, but until the situation occurs, i don't think you could know until it happens.

[katy1981]

i am adopted and thought you would like to hear my story and my veiw on it

 

when i was 2 weeks old my birth mother came to visit her sister in sheffield with me she said to my aunt (her sister) can you look after our katy for a couple of hours while i do some errands so she said yeh sure i can so off she went and never came back, she came back about 5 years later but my aunt wouldnt give me back and said my birth mother wasnt fit to look after me and so my aunt and uncle then adopted me. so i have always known my aunt and uncle as mum and dad and my birth mother as aunty.

 

my aunty had 5 of her own children when they took me in, i am now nearly 29 and have no ill will towards my birth mother i have lived an ok life with them it hasnt been perfect but its was a lot better than i would have had if my birth mother hadnt done what she has done, she was an alcoholic and in pubs all day and i would have ended up being dragged from pub to pub all day and night with nowt but a bag of crisps and a panda pop to occupy myself with.

 

 

i love all my adopted siblings like they were my own blood relatives, i also love my adopted parents dearly and have never felt like they treated me differantly at all, i had the odd kid at school make snipey comments like your so sad your own mother didnt want you but i replied with at least my new parents choose me you were probably an accident! yes kids can be mean

 

i know some adopted children find it difficult to proccess when you tell them and can sometimes become difficult but just carry on loving them and as they get older it will pass. keep copys of all adoption related things like paper work, emails, letters etc etc.

 

my parents never did this and ive always been curious about the proccess they went throught to get me and what my birth mother did about it.

 

good luck to you all.

[ukstudent]

It's funny you starting this thread, i was only speaking to my partner about this the other day and we would like to adopt, a small child tho, so we can bring him/her up. I was going to start a thread on here asking if anyone had adopted and how long the process was. We get married in 2012 and would like to adopt soon after that, then in a few years have our own baby so they can grown up together.

I'd love to be able to make a difference in someone's life and give them a loving home so that they can grow up in the best possible way

 

I think it is quite a difficult process with lots of checks and interviews you have to go through and it can can take a long time.

 

But I wish you the best of luck.

 

Take a look at this website - it seems to have lots of useful info

 

http://www.baaf.org.uk/info/firstq/index.shtml

[waggler]

not me---------too complicated

[finoni9]

i am adopted and thought you would like to hear my story and my veiw on it

 

when i was 2 weeks old my birth mother came to visit her sister in sheffield with me she said to my aunt (her sister) can you look after our katy for a couple of hours while i do some errands so she said yeh sure i can so off she went and never came back, she came back about 5 years later but my aunt wouldnt give me back and said my birth mother wasnt fit to look after me and so my aunt and uncle then adopted me. so i have always known my aunt and uncle as mum and dad and my birth mother as aunty.

 

my aunty had 5 of her own children when they took me in, i am now nearly 29 and have no ill will towards my birth mother i have lived an ok life with them it hasnt been perfect but its was a lot better than i would have had if my birth mother hadnt done what she has done, she was an alcoholic and in pubs all day and i would have ended up being dragged from pub to pub all day and night with nowt but a bag of crisps and a panda pop to occupy myself with.

 

 

i love all my adopted siblings like they were my own blood relatives, i also love my adopted parents dearly and have never felt like they treated me differantly at all, i had the odd kid at school make snipey comments like your so sad your own mother didnt want you but i replied with at least my new parents choose me you were probably an accident! yes kids can be mean

 

i know some adopted children find it difficult to proccess when you tell them and can sometimes become difficult but just carry on loving them and as they get older it will pass. keep copys of all adoption related things like paper work, emails, letters etc etc.

 

my parents never did this and ive always been curious about the proccess they went throught to get me and what my birth mother did about it.

 

good luck to you all.

 

That's an encouraging story Katy - I'm glad it worked out for you so well.

[finoni9]

That is why i would want the adopted child first - i think this would cause less problems. Once they were of a age where they could understand then i would explain that i did not give birth to them, but that doesn't matter because i am their mum and always would be and hopefully because they would be treated exactly the same, there would not be any resentment or jealousy.

That is one reason why i would like the adopted child to be young when we get them, because in my job i see so many children in care who have 'attitude problems' and 'behaviour problems' and end up turning to a life of crime and all because they are moved pillar to post and hopefully we could make sure they don't remember their unhappy life before they came to us.

I know i've not directly answered your question, but until the situation occurs, i don't think you could know until it happens.

 

That's fantastic you want to adopt - there are so many children out there who need a family like you! I would personally advise you to work the other way around ie have your own kids first then adopt as often the adoptive child (even if you get "quite young" (usually most are at least 1-2 yrs old even if given up at birth!)) they can be emotionally younger than their age and usually do better being the youngest in the family - but your social worker when you apply will discuss this with you.

 

You're right - a lot of children in the care system end up very damaged because the system takes sooooo long to decide that they shouldn't go back to their parent(s) and they are pushed from pillar to post........ it's very very sad

 

The biggest piece of advice I would give is to read as much as you can about attachment issues/early trauma - the more you know the better!

 

All the best!

[finoni9]

I've always wondered what it would be like to adopt a child, and how i'd cope with certain situations.

 

Would i love someone else's child? would i cope with the problems he/she may suffer?, ect.

 

I don't have children of my own and to be honest i'm not ready for any, but in the near future i'd consider adoption.

 

I suppose i'd want to adopt a child to give it some love and hope, either toddler or teenager.

 

I always thought I wanted to adopt and then I became a foster carer and realised, although I could work with these children short term (which can be anything up to 2 yrs) they need a big big commitment and emotionally you have to be very strong and prepared and I decided it wasn't for me.

 

However I do know some foster carers who end up adopting children cause they just fall in love with them and somehow the bond is just too strong and they have what it takes to make that commitment (it hasn't happened to me - YET!!)

 

I think if people adopt they are doing the greatest thing on earth but it does take commitment and "love is not enough".