whosewho Posted August 12, 2010 Share Posted August 12, 2010 I thought the opening post was pretty clear. The conversation has gone very basic and whereas I will text and try to be fun, drop a nice compliment in now and again, I'm not getting a great deal back. I don't send compliments to receive them but I am still a person and it would nice to know whether he looks forward to seeing me as much as I do with him. Or that he's had fun when we have been out. I'm not in this to let him sleep with me and then not talk to me the rest of the time! I don't mean that nastily, but I just think he doesn't have the communication skills/confidence that maybe other people I've been with have, I'd like someone to help me bring him out of his shell. That is, if that is the answer. Could well be that he was all for the idea and has now gone off me Give him some time. He may feel stifled by your trying to develop things too quickly. Stop leaving catalogues of engagement rings laying around while he is present! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Nobody Posted August 12, 2010 Share Posted August 12, 2010 I thought the opening post was pretty clear. I'd like someone to help me bring him out of his shell. A third party perhaps? Mediation or swinging? Either could be fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sillypoint Posted August 12, 2010 Author Share Posted August 12, 2010 Give him some time. He may feel stifled by your trying to develop things too quickly. Stop leaving catalogues of engagement rings laying around while he is present! :hihi: He's getting none of that from me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suffragette1 Posted August 12, 2010 Share Posted August 12, 2010 I thought the opening post was pretty clear. The conversation has gone very basic and whereas I will text and try to be fun, drop a nice compliment in now and again, I'm not getting a great deal back. I don't send compliments to receive them but I am still a person and it would nice to know whether he looks forward to seeing me as much as I do with him. Or that he's had fun when we have been out. I'm not in this to let him sleep with me and then not talk to me the rest of the time! I don't mean that nastily, but I just think he doesn't have the communication skills/confidence that maybe other people I've been with have, I'd like someone to help me bring him out of his shell. That is, if that is the answer. Could well be that he was all for the idea and has now gone off me Or it could be that he's become complacent incredibly quickly and feels that given your long history together, he has no need to make compliments. How much has he changed exactly since you did the deed? Was he complimentary up until the time that you slept together? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whosewho Posted August 12, 2010 Share Posted August 12, 2010 :hihi: He's getting none of that from me! I'm very cheeky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sillypoint Posted August 12, 2010 Author Share Posted August 12, 2010 Or it could be that he's become complacent incredibly quickly and feels that given your long history together, he has no need to make compliments. How much has he changed exactly since you did the deed? Was he complimentary up until the time that you slept together? When we were friends we used to discuss music, sport, books, current affairs.. an adult friend relationship basically. Now since its started to become more official its getting more and more basic to the point where I feel like I'm having to try to extract info from him when I try to find out normal stuff like his job, aspirations etc. The day after (the one and only time thus far) we slept together he was out and was very complimentary though I'm putting this down to dutch courage/beer and all seemed OK. Now I'm getting mono-sylabic (is that the right word?) answers and getting basically conversation you'd expect from a shy teenager. I know he's capable of better, maybe it is that he's fed up already Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Nobody Posted August 12, 2010 Share Posted August 12, 2010 When we were friends we used to discuss music, sport, books, current affairs.. an adult friend relationship basically. Now since its started to become more official its getting more and more basic to the point where I feel like I'm having to try to extract info from him when I try to find out normal stuff like his job, aspirations etc. The day after (the one and only time thus far) we slept together he was out and was very complimentary though I'm putting this down to dutch courage/beer and all seemed OK. Now I'm getting mono-sylabic (is that the right word?) answers and getting basically conversation you'd expect from a shy teenager. I know he's capable of better, maybe it is that he's fed up already You sound more like an old married couple Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rubydazzler Posted August 12, 2010 Share Posted August 12, 2010 Hey...COME ON NOW. You could be asking her to ditch what could be the love of her life. You are wicked!I could be, but I doubt it ... Some people are just unwilling to get too intimate with another human being and as soon as things look like getting serious, they back off. This is usually the male half of the equation. Sillypoint, you could try paying him back in his own coin. Stop trying to be amusing and bantering, don't text him and don't sleep with him again. See what happens next. If he's interested in a relationship with you he'll be hanging around in no time, worried that you've lost interest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suffragette1 Posted August 12, 2010 Share Posted August 12, 2010 When we were friends we used to discuss music, sport, books, current affairs.. an adult friend relationship basically. Now since its started to become more official its getting more and more basic to the point where I feel like I'm having to try to extract info from him when I try to find out normal stuff like his job, aspirations etc. The day after (the one and only time thus far) we slept together he was out and was very complimentary though I'm putting this down to dutch courage/beer and all seemed OK. Now I'm getting mono-sylabic (is that the right word?) answers and getting basically conversation you'd expect from a shy teenager. I know he's capable of better, maybe it is that he's fed up already Hmmm. Perhaps you should ask him outright if he is having second thoughts? How long is it since you slept together and is he showing any signs of wanting to sleep with you again or pursue a full on sexual relationship? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Babooshka Posted August 12, 2010 Share Posted August 12, 2010 I lost the best friend I ever had after we decided to evolve on to a 'relationship' after we had the most amazing friendship. It did not work. It was too weird for me, and I had to end it almost as quickly as it started. I, then, lost him as a friend, and to this day, about 16 years later, I am still as devastated now as I was then. Not much help in the advice department, I know, but then, not everything works out the way you would like. Thems the facts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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