My partner's ex doesn't pay child maintenance

[Grahame]

When I got divorced my wife did not want our daughter but I still had to pay my ex-wife £12.00 a week maintenance, for what?

 

(This was over thirty years ago.)

[chimay]

When I got divorced my wife did not want our daughter but I still had to pay my ex-wife £12.00 a week maintenance, for what?

 

(This was over thirty years ago.)

 

Are you saying that you had custody of your daughter, she lived with you and you still paid money to your ex-wife? Don't forget that years ago when wives stayed at home men used to pay something like maintenance to their wives until the ex-wife remarried or earned enough to support herself.

 

Eventually when I came off benefits the court awarded me £30 a week maintenance. As the wording of the order was that maintenance must be paid until the child finishes full time education my ex is still paying maintenance (but usually only when reminded by the court) for our son who will be 22 and starting a masters degree at university next month. However it is still only £30 a week. I've applied for variation several times but my OH is self employed and always manages to 'prove' a low income.

[Berberis]

Lets put some facts into this thread.

 

If the NRP (none resident parent) is receiving between £5-£100 per week in income (be it benefits or salary) they assessed at a flat rate of either £5 per week or £6.50 per week dependant on which CSA assessment they are on. Anything above and it works out on a percentage of the earnings after housing costs (rent and council tax)

 

The OP request for this amount is exactly what the CSA award, so there is no griping.

 

However a study was conducted where the CSA were tested on if they treated NRP men differently to NRP women. The findings showed the CSA are systematically sexist. Men on average were traced and contacted within 6 months, while women were contacted within 18 months and some never at all.

[Grahame]

Are you saying that you had custody of your daughter, she lived with you and you still paid money to your ex-wife? Don't forget that years ago when wives stayed at home men used to pay something like maintenance to their wives until the ex-wife remarried or earned enough to support herself.

 

Eventually when I came off benefits the court awarded me £30 a week maintenance. As the wording of the order was that maintenance must be paid until the child finishes full time education my ex is still paying maintenance (but usually only when reminded by the court) for our son who will be 22 and starting a masters degree at university next month. However it is still only £30 a week. I've applied for variation several times but my OH is self employed and always manages to 'prove' a low income.

 

I had custody of my daughter and I bought my wife's share of the matrimonial home. She then rented a flat. But even though were were divorced and my wife had nothing to do with our daughter after that, I still had to pay my wife £12.00 per week maintenance, which got deducted off her benefits.

 

I couldn't see the same thing happening in reverse and my wife supporting me for doing nothing. Since then I have always had this 'thing' about the law favouring women. Either that or it was to save social security money. She was no better off and the people it affected most in an adverse way was my daughter and myself and my family.

[MonkeyLover]

When my first husband and i divorced, i was awarded somthing like 30p per annum for maintenance. We were both working full time, and had no children.

 

I never bothered claiming it!

[chimay]

I had custody of my daughter and I bought my wife's share of the matrimonial home. She then rented a flat. But even though were were divorced and my wife had nothing to do with our daughter after that, I still had to pay my wife £12.00 per week maintenance, which got deducted off her benefits.

 

I couldn't see the same thing happening in reverse and my wife supporting me for doing nothing. Since then I have always had this 'thing' about the law favouring women. Either that or it was to save social security money. She was no better off and the people it affected most in an adverse way was my daughter and myself and my family.

 

When my ex and I divorced we signed a document stating that neither of us would claim maintenance off each other. This was because I was actually earning more than my ex and he was a proud man who wanted a clean break divorce otherwise I would have been paying maintenance to him.

 

Several years later I had to claim benefits and someone from the DHSS came to my home to interview me. She asked about my ex with a view to going back to him for maintenance even though we had been divorced for about 5 years.

[Grahame]

When my ex and I divorced we signed a document stating that neither of us would claim maintenance off each other. This was because I was actually earning more than my ex and he was a proud man who wanted a clean break divorce otherwise I would have been paying maintenance to him.

 

Several years later I had to claim benefits and someone from the DHSS came to my home to interview me. She asked about my ex with a view to going back to him for maintenance even though we had been divorced for about 5 years.

 

I think in reality, that is what it was about, with social security trying to save money. I thought it was wrong on the basis that we had returned to the same situation prior to getting married.

 

However it is all water under the bridge now.

 

The main difference it made to me was that I vowed I would never re-marry, or co-habit, which means I have had a rather lonely life.

[chimay]

I think in reality, that is what it was about, with social security trying to save money. I thought it was wrong on the basis that we had returned to the same situation prior to getting married.

 

However it is all water under the bridge now.

 

The main difference it made to me was that I vowed I would never re-marry, or co-habit, which means I have had a rather lonely life.

 

I'm really sorry that the bad experience you had with your (ex) wife put you off re-marrying or co-habiting. I guess you at least had your daughter and the joy she must have brought you over the years. I must admit that I went off the rails a bit after my divorce and for a few years lived with a totally unsuitable bloke who was the exact opposite to my ex. Once bitten twice stupid in my case, however a year or so later and a huge move down south led me to meeting my present OH and we've been together for almost 20 years now.

 

Oops sorry mods I realise that I'm going off thread. I'll try not to do it again.

[Grahame]

I'm really sorry that the bad experience you had with your (ex) wife put you off re-marrying or co-habiting. I guess you at least had your daughter and the joy she must have brought you over the years. I must admit that I went off the rails a bit after my divorce and for a few years lived with a totally unsuitable bloke who was the exact opposite to my ex. Once bitten twice stupid in my case, however a year or so later and a huge move down south led me to meeting my present OH and we've been together for almost 20 years now.

 

Oops sorry mods I realise that I'm going off thread. I'll try not to do it again.

 

You and me both going off topic. I am glad it worked out for you and my granddaughters are brilliant (3 & 7) and I love them both to bits. So, life is good.

[Pat Butcher]

There is one thing i hate more than a man who wont pay for his kids.

A women who doesnt pay for her kids!!!

 

My mother has never payed for me ,and I have only seen her couple times in my twenty years of life.