Dear Forum... Posted August 31, 2010 Share Posted August 31, 2010 I split up with my wife a year ago after being together for 4 and a half years, I moved to Sheffield to be with her and we have a kid together, We split up mainly because I couldn't get on with one of her kids and because I took her for granted, I acted badly at times although I was never violent or anything like that as I am not that type of person and there was no cheating or anything like that. She has a male friend who she meets quite often but she has been friends with him for about 2 years and she has been meeting him for around 15 months now but she isn't with him or anything like that. Last Xmas we became very close again and she really wanted me back but for some stupid reason I said no, now this is obviously something that I regret more than anything. A few months back I tried to get her back but she said she couldn't make a decision and that she did love me but she didn't want me as much as she wanted me at xmas, she said percentage wise she wanted me about 80%, She said she's happy being single and doing her own thing and meeting up with this guy now and again. We still kiss sometimes and stuff, she also says things to me now and then and I stay at her house occasionally as well, I do get extremely lonely sometimes as I don't know anyone in Sheffield and I don't get the chance to go out much due to finances and other reasons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mj.scuba Posted August 31, 2010 Share Posted August 31, 2010 Get divorced and move on. Make a proper effort to be more sociable, go out on works outings and stuff, get yourself a proper circle of friends and be independant and you will eventually meet someone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
natjack Posted August 31, 2010 Share Posted August 31, 2010 I'm not sure what are you asking? Whether you should keep trying to get back together with your ex wife? Or how to go out more and make new friends on a limited budget? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorri Posted August 31, 2010 Share Posted August 31, 2010 Making that final break is the hardest part but you have to do it and move on. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Babooshka Posted August 31, 2010 Share Posted August 31, 2010 Are you sure it is her you want to be with, or are you just dependent on her because you don't know anybody else, and you don't wish to be lonely? It seems like the latter. If you turned her down at Christmas, I am thinking you were in a less-lonely, happier place back then? It sounds as though she has now acknowledged that your relationship, as it was, has gone, and that she is moving on....and rightly so. May I suggest, that you do not cling to her in a bid to not be lonely. Get out there and live your OWN life. There are plenty of people out there, doing plenty of things, many of which do not cost a lot of money. Just because you are single does not mean you have to be lonely. How would you feel about your wife if you did NOT feel lonely? Chances are, you would not wish to rekindle your relationship. So many people make the mistake of depending on other people for their happiness. What do you REALLY want? Be honest with yourself. Then, do not be afraid to go out and get it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treatment Posted August 31, 2010 Share Posted August 31, 2010 Kick her into touch, then move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
depoix Posted August 31, 2010 Share Posted August 31, 2010 as a mother she is thinking of what happened last time ,you said you didnt get on with one of her kids ,i reckon that's what is holding her back,so now you have to play up to the child but that will be hard work as kids play one parent against the other even when all seems to be going well the child may decide it's not getting mothers attention as much as it would like and kick off, then your back to square one again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charlie9865 Posted August 31, 2010 Share Posted August 31, 2010 I split up with my wife a year ago after being together for 4 and a half years, I moved to Sheffield to be with her and we have a kid together, We split up mainly because I couldn't get on with one of her kids and because I took her for granted, I acted badly at times although I was never violent or anything like that as I am not that type of person and there was no cheating or anything like that. She has a male friend who she meets quite often but she has been friends with him for about 2 years and she has been meeting him for around 15 months now but she isn't with him or anything like that. Last Xmas we became very close again and she really wanted me back but for some stupid reason I said no, now this is obviously something that I regret more than anything. A few months back I tried to get her back but she said she couldn't make a decision and that she did love me but she didn't want me as much as she wanted me at xmas, she said percentage wise she wanted me about 80%, She said she's happy being single and doing her own thing and meeting up with this guy now and again. We still kiss sometimes and stuff, she also says things to me now and then and I stay at her house occasionally as well, I do get extremely lonely sometimes as I don't know anyone in Sheffield and I don't get the chance to go out much due to finances and other reasons. For one this is playing with your feelings and wrong on every level. I know how easy it is to go running when she asks as I went there once with my ex. He used to ring and ask me round we would kiss and one thing would lead to another and once he got what he wanted he would drop me like a ton of bricks. He played with my emotions and played on them and this seems very much what your ex is doing. We still kiss sometimes and stuff, she also says things to me now and then and I stay at her house occasionally as well, I do get extremely lonely sometimes as I don't know anyone in Sheffield This sounds like she is keeping her options open, as a women myself only reason I would say this is if I thought something was gonna come of me and this male friend. So basically if nothing happens pal she will be back on your door. reason for thinking this!!! Can she not be with you and remain friends with this guy???? Guessing the answe is yes, But if she did that and some thing was gonna happen she would be restricted as she would be with you. Think about it !! [A few months back I tried to get her back but she said she couldn't make a decision and that she did love me but she didn't want me as much as she wanted me at xmas, she said percentage wise she wanted me about 80%, She said she's happy being single and doing her own thing and meeting up with this guy now and again. If I was you I would just get on with your life, and move on. She does not sound like she loves you, you just sound the safer bet if all goes pear shaped with this other guy. If she loved you she would of been trying to work it out and she isn't. She is toying with your emotions to keep you near so she can fall back on you if nothing comes of her with this other guy. You sound like you deserve better, I might be wrong mate but this is how it looks from where I am sitting P.S. From her point of view though you didn't get on with her child and she won't want a repeat of this. The child is a part of the package you can't have it both ways Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrannyGranny Posted August 31, 2010 Share Posted August 31, 2010 As above. She's keeping you hanging on as a fall back just in case. She has an emotional pull over you and she knows it. Move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donnygirl Posted August 31, 2010 Share Posted August 31, 2010 I agree with mj scuba and GrannyGranny. Move on. One question; as you've got a child is there a single parent's club such as Gingrerbread you could join? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.