Are dads needed or are they an optional extra?

[Lady Star]

no i am not. im saying they on the whole treat dads as a spare parent.

 

Nah, as long as the man is the more resposible parent, he will increasingly win custody these days... I know of two dads who in the last 6 months won custody of their kids, allbeit that one is the dad to a 11 and a 13 year old, and they had a say in not wanting anything to do with their mother...

 

If you divorced some years ago things may have been different, but looks like the tides turning if it hasn't already turned...

[CottonTop]

I grew up without a dad. He was in & out of my life while I was really young. As I grew older I didn't see him for a long time. I think not having a dad has affected me in a big way. I'm just really greatful for my step dad who came along when I was about 9yrs old.

Because I didn't have a dad & my mum had to work I was brought up by my grandma.

I've just become a dad & I don't know how anhyone can walk out on a child.

 

I feel the same way, MrMondo. I lost my dad when I was 9 yrs old but my mom never remarried. In fact, she never dated at all (which was a shame because she was only 46 yrs old when he died). I would have benefited greatly from having a male role model and I think all those years without one has had a negative impact on my life. Fathers are just as essential as mothers to raising a well rounded child and I am shocked at some of the stories I read on here about the difficulties facing fathers who want to be part of their childrens' lives after a divorce. Its weighted so heavily in favor of the mothers.

[shazatko]

i dont think it matters either way if your the dad step dad adoptive dad what ever type of dad you are its the importance of you being there that matters. I was fostered from the age of 2 my dad was great til i reach adulthood, the arguement here is do we need them in our lives yes we do there are back bone. you grow up with the choices mom or dad makes. there guideance i have freinds who didnt have a man about the house and they feel cheated someway, dads maybe a spare part but mums feel like that too.

my girls are 19 and 20 i dont need to be there much for them and my boys are 7 and 16 im just a spare part for them as they go to my bf if they want anything doing all i get from that is its a man thing.

YES WE NEED DADS IN OUR LIVES even if they are rubbish at it we learn from it and so will our kids us as parents guide our kids to what they are today with or with out work .

[sandie]

do dads matter?

are dads needed?

or are we really an optional extra?

im talking in general, everyone can cite bad dads bad mums. im talking overall. given 50% of dads at best get 2 days out of 14, are we just sitters? or are we needed? or are we to often totally ignored as an essential part of our childrens lifes?

 

 

hey, this is not about race or religion, just a fathers role in his kids lifes.

 

Not sure why you asked the question.

Are you apart from the childs mother and feel bitter.

I dont have that problem and your 50% of dads only get 2 days in 14 is rubbish. Where have yo got these facts from, because you are wrong.

You are giving a bad name to all the dad's that look after their children.

[chimay]

So how do we get it out there to all the blokes who run a mile when they hear the pitter patter of tiny feet that they should stick around?

 

As an aside; I work with vulnerable young people which at th emoment includes a pregnant 16 year old. Yesterday she told me that the baby's middle name will be it's biological father's surname name followed by her current boysfriend's surname and finally her surname. The baby's father has sild he will be there for the baby, mmmmmmmm seeing will be believing. She's setting up home with the current boyfriend who unbeknown to her is playing away. Her mum's take on all this is that when her daughter gets fed up of the baby she'll get custody of it. How do we turn all that around into a supportive family????????

[tonywheatley]

dads are needed to buy a house a new car and pay for holidays.

 

once the kids are teenagers dads are kicked out as they are no longer needed the wife keeps the house,car moves a younger bloke in and you pay stupid amounts of money every month for the pleasure.

 

oh and you have the kids every weekend so the ex can go out and have a ball.

 

sometimes the truth hurts.

 

Sounds like someone i know a friend of mine

 

Nice lad too

[Babooshka]

I have lost all respect for the father of my son. . . not sure where he thinks his 'rights' end. I am just going through the legal process after my son's father turned over my house completely last week trying to find ANYTHING to prove that I am an unfit mother. He hacked my computer, and, it turns out, he has been cyber-spying on me for 18 months. I have had to get a tech bod in to clean up my computer, and have had the police round three times. They have warned him to stay away. He has harassed my mother telling her what he thinks of me (this man is 41 years old!!!!), and I have now had to pay for legal means to try to put a stop to all this. We have been apart for TWO years now, and he is STILL fixated on controlling my life. I have so had it with men!!!!! I think he feels that because he has the big house, the wealth, the live-in girlfriend (who is set to play second mummy...FAT CHANCE!!!!!!!), the rich parents, and the hot-shot job, he is going to get custody of our little boy. Man, is he is for a shock. I believe he will be reading this seeing as though he knows all about my computer activity now, but, I don't care anymore. I hope he enjoys the ride!

[norks]

My sons father died some years ago and i like to think i have done a good enough job as being both mummy and daddy to him, however, there are some things which only a father can understand and there are some things that only a father share with his son eg. teaching him to share,explaining about "women" and taking him for his first pint.

 

 

I personally think a child benefits massively from having a father or father figure.