Help! My head is scarey!

[Jabberwocky]

On Sunday my OH decided that my hair needed a "Slight trimming" just to tidy it up and make it look neater for a night out we`re going to be spoiling next week so she took the electric hair clippers and... I fought and screamed and cried and begged, but once she decides to nancify your head then theres not a lot you can do about it.

 

Twenty minutes and a lot of gibbering later I had a head that looks like a King Edward potato thats just been bitten in half by a goat and as I looked in the bathroom mirror and screamed that my lovely looks were ruined I noticed that my forehead- once huge- was now bloody VAST!

 

Less hair to comb, but more face to wash , its a case of a lose lose situation.

 

The "Slight trimming" ended up as a complete scalping and as my hair is pretty wiry to begin with, you could now use my bonce to brush mud off your boots.

 

My OH`s sis was a hair dresser years ago and she usually cuts my mop but the OH obviously feels that skills can be transmitted psycically between siblings because she thought she was an expert hair dresser, just for the time it took to make me look as if I`d recieved a lethal amount of radiation.

 

I now have go to a "Do" looking extremely wierd. The last time my hair was this short was back in the late 90s and I was followed around Meadowhall by a troop of security guards because they must have thought I was either an escaped loon or highly infectious.

 

 

So, poppets... Can you beat that for hair disasters? Ever made the mistake of mixing alcohol with scissors...? Ever allowed some total MANIAC to wreck your cranium with sharp, buzzing implements?

 

DISCUSS OR I`LL GIVE YOU A BEEHIVE!

[mojo1]

I melted my hair with bleach once trying to get black dye out and turn it bright pillarbox red, other than that and a dodgy perm in the 80's I think I've managed to not do anything to bad to my hair.

 

My mother wouldn't agree, the wool braided hair extentions that appear from time to time, she hates, and she wasn't too keen on it being turquoise for a while either, but what do mothers know?

[Fareast]

I think I might have come up with an answer to save your social life from total disaster and it will also prevent [ we hope ! ] the good yeomen of Leicestershire having hysterics and expiring due to excess mirth.

 

Can you find the cuttings that were so savagely removed from your top-knot ? If, so, you could use THEM to make realistic facial re-adjustments ! A moustache here, a beard there, nasal hair, hair poking from the lug-hole........the possibilities are almost endless !

 

You could try the ' Hitler Special ' effect ; you could go for the ' Rolf Harris ' Jungle ' Look ' ; Einstein ? Eisenstein ? Castro ? Oliver Hardy ?

 

Any of these would distract potential sniggerers from pointing at your head and passing unseemly or ribald comments. Instead of remarks, such as , " God, he looks a right turnip ! ", they would stare and say, for example, " I say, doesn 't that fellow look like Groucho Marx ......or do I mean, Karl .....? "

 

I don't want any thanks or payment for this advice, Jabberwocky. As long as I know that you can stroll round Leicester, looking like, let 's say, Clarke Gable instead of Wayne Rooney, that will be payment enough.

[Jabberwocky]

I`m just going to wear a hat! I`m going to blu tack it to my noggin and its not coming off until I have a 70s Afro at least!

[Jabberwocky]

Whatshisface...? The bloke who had his hair lopped off by... Delilah...? and lost all his strength.

 

Thats me, that is, only I lost my sanity instead of my strength because I was as strong as a glass of watta to begin with.

[thursday]

On Sunday my OH decided that my hair needed a "Slight trimming" just to tidy it up.....

 

I now have go to a "Do" looking extremely wierd.

 

Poor you!! Has this NEVER happened before?

[Jabberwocky]

Poor you!! Has this NEVER happened before?

 

Not to this extent.

 

Ive had people - such as my sis in law who was a hairdresser suddenly decide to get revenge on me for the years Ive tormented her as she was half way through cutting my hair and leave me with half a haircut or a mohawk for a few days but she eventually finished it off.

 

All I can do now is wait for it to grow back, but its goign to take time, even horse manure isnt making it grow any faster.

[Jabberwocky]

The last three "Do`s" Ive attended have had me looking odd though, the last one.... I was dressed in old ladys clothes, complete with straw hat and stockings and suspenders- I was determined to go to at least one outing looking normal and half decent.

 

Looks like my plan was foiled yet again.

[mojo1]

The last three "Do`s" Ive attended have had me looking odd though, the last one.... I was dressed in old ladys clothes, complete with straw hat and stockings and suspenders- I was determined to go to at least one outing looking normal and half decent.

 

Looks like my plan was foiled yet again.

 

I can honestly say I don't know any old ladies that wear straw hats, stockings and suspenders

[Jabberwocky]

I can honestly say I don't know any old ladies that wear straw hats, stockings and suspenders

 

You do now!

 

And I have the sexy pics to prove it on my Facesbook! I have to admit that I make one SEXY laydyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! Every time I saw myself in the bog mirror I tried to chat myself up!