Why am i still here ?

[MadnBad]

why do i have such i low self esteam ?

all i want to do is curl up , fall asleep and never wake up !!

 

I know how you feel Vamp i've been a bit of a manic depressive for a long time and have considered suicide on a number of occasions it is only my feeling of duty to my family that keeps me hanging on, i've been known to self harm and put myself in dangerous situations just because i don't care much for whether i live or die.

The only times i truly feel alive is when the adrenalin is turned up high or if i achieve something which was why i started running, the achievements are small but they keep me going.

Spending too much time on your own is a bad thing it keeps you inside your own head which in a depressed state is a very bad thing, you should get out join a club and meet people old friends new friends as long as your not on your own i find that helps.

I don't know how you counter low self esteem except to give your self those senses of achievement that i mentioned earlier, maybe athletics isn't for you but there is something out there for you maybe a new career direction can give you some fulfilment.

[vamp]

Did I read in another thread that you have children? If so, that would be a very good reason for you to be still here.

 

Yes you did . The things is i don't think i am a very good mother and think that my girls deserve better in life than to have someone like me to look after them.

Maybe that's the reason i havn't done anything more about ending it all .The way i have found to cope is to self harm which i am not proud off and my eldest has seen the scars and asked me about them i just say i scratched it on something .( crap i know i sound tell them the truth )..

[horribleblob]

It sounds like your girls care about you, and I bet that they're proud of you too and wouldn't want anyone else to be looking after them.

[*Wallace*]

You sound depressed to me maybe you should find some help with how you're feeling,good luck Vamp.

[billo]

Sounds like you are suffering from depression which is more common than most people think.

You need to go and have a word with your GP because it may get worse.

There is plenty of help if you want it.

[spiritangel1]

Vamp theres no shame in having depression or woteva,you need help huuny you obviuosly have reached rock bottom so its gotta be up from here,go to your gp,ask for councelling eg community physc nurse the helps there all you have to do is reach out,if you feel you cant explain to the gp put something in writing i did and handed it to my gp,he was brilliant,i just couldnt put and say it verbally so i wrote it,its a long hard climb but thankfully im fine and never looked back hope you seek help x

[vamp]

well things arn't getting any better at the mo . I am feeling more depressed than ever i have even stopped eating which i know it isn't the best of things but i have lost my appetitte !!

 

i hope i find the light at the end of the tunnel soon !!!!

[*Peaches*]

Vamp, have you been to see your Doctor? I went down the anorexia route because I didn't feel hungry and it just turns into a downward spiral.

 

Please go and speak to someone, friend, member of your family or even acomplete stranger like Samaritans. PM me if you need to

[norks]

I do not think you have depression just incredibly low self esteem and worth.

Depression and self worth are totally different and this problem can be easiy overcome if you want it to be.

The first thing you have to do is look in a mirror EVERY morning and evening and state the following to yourself.

 

I am a good lovable woman deserving of happiness and i owe it to myself to get it.

 

It is important you look yourself straight in the eye when saying this. It will feel stupid and silly and probably pointless too but keep doing it anyway as pretty soon whether you want it to or not your attitude will become more positive, by all means go and see your doctor but try not to become dependant on the pills he will most likely want to prescribe you.

Fell free to PM me if you want to chat x

[vamp]

I do not think you have depression just incredibly low self esteem and worth.

Depression and self worth are totally different and this problem can be easiy overcome if you want it to be.

The first thing you have to do is look in a mirror EVERY morning and evening and state the following to yourself.

 

I am a good lovable woman deserving of happiness and i owe it to myself to get it.

 

It is important you look yourself straight in the eye when saying this. It will feel stupid and silly and probably pointless too but keep doing it anyway as pretty soon whether you want it to or not your attitude will become more positive, by all means go and see your doctor but try not to become dependant on the pills he will most likely want to prescribe you.

Fell free to PM me if you want to chat x

 

thanks for that but there is a problem with that i cann't look at myself in a mirror not even to do things like brush my hair or clean my teeth so much as to say i don't own a mirror!!