milquetoast1 Posted September 23, 2010 Share Posted September 23, 2010 ;6714219'] http://images.fanpop.com/images/image_uploads/Political-Cartoons-atheism-523266_600_408.jpg This is what i am reminded of every time Graham accuses people of picking on him. and this.. http://i.imgur.com/8xL1A.jpg and this.. http://wackyiraqi.com/update/wp-content/uploads/2007/05/christians_oppressed.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circa Posted September 23, 2010 Share Posted September 23, 2010 But remaining abstinent till marriage didn't protect your marriage did it Grahame? In fact it did just the opposite as you and your partner being so subject to a world and sex hating ideology meant you made a major life commitment whilst remaining deliberately ignorant of whether or not you were sexually compatible with each other. Unfortunately it turned out you were most incompatible in what for some people is a very important part of their lives dooming your marriage. In contrast I and my wife had sex with a variety of people before we got together with each other as we went about searching for someone to spend the rest of our lives with. We both without fail used contraception and know for sure that neither or us contracted any STIs because before we took the step of no longer using condoms we went to the clinic to get tested. Because unlike you we took the basic precaution of making sure that we are sexually compatible before getting married we at least know that whatever other problems life throws at us one of us being a repressed homosexual won't be one of them. What you say sounds sensible but I know too many people who have decided they are gay years into a heterosexual marriage (after not being abstinent before marriage), to think that having sex before marriage prevents all problems of sexual incompatability after marriage. It may help some but it sure isn't necessary for all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suffragette1 Posted September 23, 2010 Share Posted September 23, 2010 What you say sounds sensible but I know too many people who have decided they are gay years into a heterosexual marriage (after not being abstinent before marriage), to think that having sex before marriage prevents all problems of sexual incompatability after marriage. It may help some but it sure isn't necessary for all. If homosexuality were not such a taboo and did not carry such a stigma in some circles and communities, it would enable people to come out when they undergo their sexual awakening, rather than trying to repress it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grahame Posted September 23, 2010 Share Posted September 23, 2010 If homosexuality were not such a taboo and did not carry such a stigma in some circles and communities, it would enable people to come out when they undergo their sexual awakening, rather than trying to repress it. The other alternative is to keep quiet and have a free meal ticket for life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sccsux Posted September 23, 2010 Share Posted September 23, 2010 The other alternative is to keep quiet and have a free meal ticket for life. What, and live the rest of their life in an unloving, sexually repressive environment? If that's what christianity would have people live (a lie) then make no wonder people are leaving the churches in droves! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plekhanov Posted September 23, 2010 Author Share Posted September 23, 2010 What you say sounds sensible but I know too many people who have decided they are gay years into a heterosexual marriage (after not being abstinent before marriage), to think that having sex before marriage prevents all problems of sexual incompatability after marriage. But I didn't claim that having sex before marriage would prevent "all problems of sexual incompatability after marriage" did I? My wife and I each knew that we liked doing similar things at a similar frequency before we got married now of course that could change as we age but atleast we've taken basic precautions. Even a couple less unlucky than Grahame's could easily find for example that whilst they are both atleast heterosexual one partner has a much greater sex drive than the other which can put great stress upon a marriage. If you go into a marriage after having made a point of utterly repressing your sex drive there is simply no way you can know if you and your intended will be sexually compatible. Marriages failing because one party turns out to be a repressed homosexual will I think decrease in frequency more because (despite the wishes of all the theistic homophobes) homosexuals are under far less pressure than in the past to try and repress their homosexuality, than because people have sex before marriage. Grahame was just unlucky in that he comes from a background which hates all forms of sex but homosexuality above all others, there could hardly be better circumstances to create marriages bound to self destruct. It may help some but it sure isn't necessary for all. I disagree I think major commitment like getting married in deliberate ignorance is reckless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circa Posted September 23, 2010 Share Posted September 23, 2010 If homosexuality were not such a taboo and did not carry such a stigma in some circles and communities, it would enable people to come out when they undergo their sexual awakening, rather than trying to repress it. Possibly - but I think we can be a bit more complicated that that. I don't think it's always as cut and dried as being born gay or straight, or then having sex with a few people before you get married to ensure you make an informed decision. Just not convinced sex before marriage is the safety net some make it out to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circa Posted September 23, 2010 Share Posted September 23, 2010 Must add that our firewalls have just kicked in, so can't get on to the last page of this thread. Not ignoring any replies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grahame Posted September 23, 2010 Share Posted September 23, 2010 What, and live the rest of their life in an unloving, sexually repressive environment? If that's what christianity would have people live (a lie) then make no wonder people are leaving the churches in droves! It is usually atheists who do it. Being deceitful and living a lie is not Christianity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plekhanov Posted September 23, 2010 Author Share Posted September 23, 2010 The other alternative is to keep quiet and have a free meal ticket for life. And their partner will be happy to live in a sexless marriage will they? Also why do you assume that the heterosexual in the marriage is going to be the only one with an income? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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