Fareast Posted September 23, 2010 Share Posted September 23, 2010 When I was a little boy, I asked my Mom a similar question, " Mom, why does Grandma dislike me so much and never give me any presents ? " My dear old mother replied, " Because you are an obnoxious, nasty, selfish, little turd.......and plus......your Grandma is skint. " I never bothered asking again. Sometimes children MUST be told the truth as early as possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alien Posted September 23, 2010 Share Posted September 23, 2010 Teach them the word and meaning of "Whatever" and then next time their nan promises them something they know she won't deliver they can say it to her. As a gran myself i would never make a promise i couldn't keep. If kids can't trust the members of their family they will never trust anyone. I don't mean to sound nasty, but what are you going to say when they ask why you allowed it? Sorry to say but your kids are more important than your mother. Quite, as well as the words of the op as a mother. The OP needs to communicate with her children rather than them second guessing. Kids aren't that stupid and quite resilient..yeah they may get upset at the truth but the truth is better than adult <REMOVED>. To the OP...don't expect your mother to turn into the grandparent you experienced as a child. Give your children that which was given to you as a child and concentrate less on the actions of your mother. Grandparents are great but grandparents are human just like the rest of the population and are just as prone to selfishness as anyone else. Noticed you mentioned your past relationship with your mother as not being to good?...maybe that's what your kids see more of? You say "put your differences aside"..maybe you do but again kids are pretty astute when it comes to seeing attitude, which is much more difficult to "put aside". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
denlin Posted September 23, 2010 Share Posted September 23, 2010 I really feel for you. I can't imagine ever doing that to a child. Better not to say anything. I guess I was lucky as a child. My grandfathers died when I was young in fact I never knew one of them but both my grandmothers were brilliant. I didn't see my mothers mother as often as I should as she lived at other side of town but I loved seeing her when I did go. My dads mother lived two minutes from me so I saw her everyday, stayed at her house and went on holiday with her, my parents and my cousins. I loved her to bits. Looking back I had a great childhood. I still have friends that I had at school (I left in 1966) and still get on well with my cousins who live quite near me and my auntie lives on same road. She's great.:D:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
js2012 Posted September 23, 2010 Author Share Posted September 23, 2010 Quite, as well as the words of the op as a mother. The OP needs to communicate with her children rather than them second guessing. Kids aren't that stupid and quite resilient..yeah they may get upset at the truth but the truth is better than adult <REMOVED>. To the OP...don't expect your mother to turn into the grandparent you experienced as a child. Give your children that which was given to you as a child and concentrate less on the actions of your mother. Grandparents are great but grandparents are human just like the rest of the population and are just as prone to selfishness as anyone else. Noticed you mentioned your past relationship with your mother as not being to good?...maybe that's what your kids see more of? You say "put your differences aside"..maybe you do but again kids are pretty astute when it comes to seeing attitude, which is much more difficult to "put aside". My bold. Sexist Good point on the kids possibly seeing what im trying to prevent them seeing. I know kids are pretty smart these days and ive probably not done as good a job as i thought. Ill not lie and say my attitude with my mum has always been perfect. It hasent and i do shoulder some of the blame for how things have got but if im honest, i just couldnt do wit the unstable side of her. not near the kids. And by unstable i dont mean mentaly ill unstable. I just mean she blows hot and cold quite a lot. Ill take your points onboard. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
js2012 Posted September 23, 2010 Author Share Posted September 23, 2010 Make the grandmother be the one doing the chasing to see your kid, to see if she is really bothered. Strange you say that. I decided to do this at one point. Ive not heard from her since september last year. The only contact the kids have had has been a birthday card through the letterbox. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
js2012 Posted September 23, 2010 Author Share Posted September 23, 2010 Teach them the word and meaning of "Whatever" and then next time their nan promises them something they know she won't deliver they can say it to her. As a gran myself i would never make a promise i couldn't keep. If kids can't trust the members of their family they will never trust anyone. I don't mean to sound nasty, but what are you going to say when they ask why you allowed it? Sorry to say but your kids are more important than your mother. Good advice. As for your question about me letting it happen. I really dont know what ill say. Aside from what ive already done by letting her contact me from now on, well ive not done much to help the situation i supose. Im not sure what else i could have done but thats not to say there isnt something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
js2012 Posted September 23, 2010 Author Share Posted September 23, 2010 I really feel for you. I can't imagine ever doing that to a child. Better not to say anything. I guess I was lucky as a child. My grandfathers died when I was young in fact I never knew one of them but both my grandmothers were brilliant. I didn't see my mothers mother as often as I should as she lived at other side of town but I loved seeing her when I did go. My dads mother lived two minutes from me so I saw her everyday, stayed at her house and went on holiday with her, my parents and my cousins. I loved her to bits. Looking back I had a great childhood. I still have friends that I had at school (I left in 1966) and still get on well with my cousins who live quite near me and my auntie lives on same road. She's great.:D:D Thats brilliant. Im really envious if im honest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shinyhappy68 Posted October 23, 2010 Share Posted October 23, 2010 Just need to update OP of events today...Its my youngest 6th birthday today, and her nannan, my mother, bought her........ £25 in Matalan Vouchers ??!!! Speechless !! My little girl was absolutely gutted . She said "mummy, its not even a toy shop, is it?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swan_Vesta Posted October 23, 2010 Share Posted October 23, 2010 Just explain: "Because Nana is a <REMOVED>". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shinyhappy68 Posted October 23, 2010 Share Posted October 23, 2010 Just explain: "Because Nana is a <REMOVED>". Lol, x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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