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I've got rigor mortis virus! (RMV)


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Everyone knows if you smack a golden eagle (or even a Thompsons Gazelle for that matter) over the head with a sledgehammer, it immediately (or within an hour or so) contracts the rigor mortis virus and demises.

Imagine my shock this morning when I woke up totally unable to move my little finger! Yesterday, it was inadvertantly trapped between the downward motion of a lump hammer and a block of concrete! :o:gag:

I fear it may have contracted the virus! Will this spread? :huh:

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Everyone knows if you smack a golden eagle (or even a Thompsons Gazelle for that matter) over the head with a sledgehammer, it immediately (or within an hour or so) contracts the rigor mortis virus and demises.

Imagine my shock this morning when I woke up totally unable to move my little finger! Yesterday, it was inadvertantly trapped between the downward motion of a lump hammer and a block of concrete! :o:gag:

I fear it may have contracted the virus! Will this spread? :huh:

 

Congratulations - you are indeed a unique individual!

 

This is the first reported case of this virus in humans.

 

The only known cure is to moisten your affected finger, place it in a suitable electrical socket and switch on.

 

You will then no longer need to worry about the virus spreading.

 

DISCLAIMER: The above remedy should only be performed in extreme cases where the rigor mortis virus has been diagnosed by a trained medical professional! :o

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Everyone knows if you smack a golden eagle (or even a Thompsons Gazelle for that matter) over the head with a sledgehammer, it immediately (or within an hour or so) contracts the rigor mortis virus and demises.

Imagine my shock this morning when I woke up totally unable to move my little finger! Yesterday, it was inadvertantly trapped between the downward motion of a lump hammer and a block of concrete! :o:gag:

I fear it may have contracted the virus! Will this spread? :huh:

 

LOL I think you may survive as it was your little finger that took the blow and not your head.

Look on the bright side,and do not worry, you woke up this morning :hihi:

 

DR kirakk

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Mr Bloke, thatsa disgusting lie, its not the first recorded instance..

In fact Mr Alco, if you were to send the sum of £50000 in used bank notes to PO box 4567346, co/ the Rhodesian National Bank, and in one week ring 0800-ITS NO CON. I shall furnish you with a bona-fide science report on the disease and a cure for it.

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Everyone knows if you smack a golden eagle (or even a Thompsons Gazelle for that matter) over the head with a sledgehammer, it immediately (or within an hour or so) contracts the rigor mortis virus and demises.

Imagine my shock this morning when I woke up totally unable to move my little finger! Yesterday, it was inadvertantly trapped between the downward motion of a lump hammer and a block of concrete! :o:gag:

I fear it may have contracted the virus! Will this spread? :huh:

 

i get rigor mortis in certain parts of my body seems to just come and go very strange it is and mainly its in mornings??? :hihi:

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I wonder if there's any relation between this thread and the fact the first part of your username says alco.

 

Jeez! How'd you work that out! I do indeed have a relation who's read this thread and his name's uncle M'alco'lm! ....SPOOKY!!! :o

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...

Imagine my shock this morning when I woke up totally unable to move my little finger! Yesterday, it was inadvertantly trapped between the downward motion of a lump hammer and a block of concrete! :o:gag:

I fear it may have contracted the virus! Will this spread? :huh:

 

Cheaper than Viagra - and presumably you don't need a prescription for a lump hammer.

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Cheaper than Viagra - and presumably you don't need a prescription for a lump hammer.

Danke schoen Switzerland/Bavaria/Black forest for your valuable imput! Ooooh!.... look out that window of your triple glazed log shed .... isn't that a herd of chamoix eating your prized eidelweiss on the lower tiers of your mountain garden!? Best put your wooly togs on and go and shoo them away with a blast from your eidelhorn, and not bother me on what is a serious subject! Say 'Hi' to Maria and the kids! (only joking Rupert!):D

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