Collecting a Child

[Suffragette1]

Can't bar numbers to my mobile telephone. Have contacted O2 before about it. Plus, she sometimes uses my exes telephone to send awful text messages, and I hear her going on at me in the background when HE calls me. His calls have only just started again, and, initially they were about our son, but have now stopped upon my request, unless it is an emergency, or solely about our son.

 

Christ. She is a lunatic, a deranged wailing banshee.

I never realised how well-adjusted I was until I met this unstable, pathetic example of a woman. Let's hope she makes a better mother.

 

Christ, the last thing that you need is this woman on your case. What is her issue with you? Is she projecting your ex's nonsense onto you?

 

It speaks volumes about the pair of them, that a)he is prepared to shack up with and have a baby with a woman whom he doesn't love, whilst hankering after you and is already an estranged father from one child and b) that his girlfriend is prepared to take on someone who has behaved abominably towards his ex, whom he still hankers after, has used his child as a pawn and to score points and admitted to not loving her.

 

My prediction would be that she makes it really hard for your ex to have any contact with your son, thereby minimising even further any contact with you. What a mess.

[Babooshka]

She just hates me because her boyfriend, with whom she is desperately in love, loves me. She can not bear that she is getting a taste of her own medicine. Like many women, she is blaming the 'other' woman, rather than her boyfriend...even though I have not so much as held hands with him in over two years!

 

I know. This is only going to have a detrimental effect on our son, who was, for the first time in AGES, supposed to be going to stay with them tonight. I thought it was the first step on the ladder of mending the relationship between them both. I waited until the last minute to tell my son (in case of cancellation, and to avoid disappointment), and only just now am I told that he can not go down due to the eruption of chaos that has occurred down there.

 

My son will be gutted. I have told my ex that I am not about to get on the roller coaster of letting down our son, with last minute changes of plans. I wish they would just hurry up and get sorted, so that we all know where we are, and can proceed. I really don't care if my ex concedes to marrying this freak out of sympathy, as long as he makes a decision of some...ANY sort, and sticks to it, so that we can all just get on with our lives.

 

You couldn't make it up!

[espadrille]

Sadly this kind of thing goes on. Its just that we dont always get to read about it.

I do believe that the issues that individuals face with low self esteem( your partner and his girlfriend) do so much damage, particularly to the children and young people in those lives.

The single and most important thing is to protect your son from this.

Seeing adults behaving like children is not a good thing for a child. They either start behaving like the adults or if they have character start behaving like adults actually should and then they have to grow up too quickly.

Your son is much more important than the right of his Father to see him. His mental health has to be paramount.

If things are kicking off then it is better to explain to him that it isnt a safe place to be at the moment and it is much safer and calmer to be with his Mum.

 

REMEMBER.THE ONLY BEHAVIOUR YOU CAN CONTROL IS YOUR OWN.

Look up Choice Theory.

[Suffragette1]

She just hates me because her boyfriend, with whom she is desperately in love, loves me. She can not bear that she is getting a taste of her own medicine. Like many women, she is blaming the 'other' woman, rather than her boyfriend...even though I have not so much as held hands with him in over two years!

 

I know. This is only going to have a detrimental effect on our son, who was, for the first time in AGES, supposed to be going to stay with them tonight. I thought it was the first step on the ladder of mending the relationship between them both. I waited until the last minute to tell my son (in case of cancellation, and to avoid disappointment), and only just now am I told that he can not go down due to the eruption of chaos that has occurred down there.

 

My son will be gutted. I have told my ex that I am not about to get on the roller coaster of letting down our son, with last minute changes of plans. I wish they would just hurry up and get sorted, so that we all know where we are, and can proceed. I really don't care if my ex concedes to marrying this freak out of sympathy, as long as he makes a decision of some...ANY sort, and sticks to it, so that we can all just get on with our lives.

 

You couldn't make it up!

*sigh*

 

Well, with the weather forecast, it's probably wise for your son to remain here.

 

My concern as an outsider is that this woman may start taking it out on your son and making life difficult for him, as well as doing everything in her power to make it so hard for your ex to see him, that eventually he just gives up. I've seen this happen time and time again with women who are jealous of the ex.

 

I think that in your shoes I would concoct some excuse (such as the weather) and not let your son see him for a while. Having him in that chaotic environment with a woman who is a mass of seething jealousy cannot be a good thing for him.

 

I agree with Espadrille and think that I said something along those lines in an earlier post, you cannot control their behaviour nor are you responsible for it, but protect your son from it.

[anniec]

Hi Babooshka, I've been following this thread although not posting and I was wondering how things are now and if you have managed to sort something out?