Collecting a Child

[Rupert_Baehr]

Well if it is your house then it's YOUR house. Your property (whether rented or owned) therefore YOU decide who can and cannot come to your property. I'm sure your solicitor would make it clear to him. Therefore stick with the arrangement as planned' date=' if he turns up. Call the police and don't answer the door. Then when they come to question him, tell the police officer that your son is at your mothers and he can collect him from there [b'](as per the arrangement for the last 2 years)[/b].

 

Where did that bit come from?

 

Babooshka said: "We have had a workable and amicable (ish) situation for almost two years. "- which is not the same as: "He has collected his child from my mother's house for the last two years."

 

I agree with Dozy. All communication between you and your ex should be through your solicitor, Babooshka. BUT You don't want to do anything which he could use against you. - We don't know where your mother lives. - Could he use that as an argument for not picking the child up from your Mum's house?

 

Either way, I certainly wouldn't let him into the house if I was you. Make him wait outside until the child is ready to leave.

[Rupert_Baehr]

Yeah, technically, I'm not sure you would call it hacking; which has connotations of circumventing security systems. This is more like unauthorised access.

 

It's also 'stealing electricity'. Which is an offence under the Theft Act.

[Bulgarian]

As pointed out above, it's "unauthorised access" which is the offence; hacking is not a legal term. In terms of computerspeak, this is not hacking; in terms of abuse of trust, it's still a major breach.

 

If you ask someone to set-up your security and tell them the password you want isn't that giving them permission to access the system, it implies you trust them ?

[Darth Vader]

Get a big dog, and keep showing it photos of your husband and growling at the picture.

 

Have you got a front gate? Could you get one and put a lock and buzzer on it? Would this be an interim solution until things are solved?

 

By the way, I don't think you HAVE to open your door to anyone, unless if they have an official document issued by the court, maybe with the exception of the gas/electric man?

[HeadingNorth]

If you ask someone to set-up your security and tell them the password you want isn't that giving them permission to access the system, it implies you trust them ?

 

At the time they're setting it up, it does - but only in order to set up security. It doesn't give them any right to go through any other files. Moreover, it does not automatically give them permission to do so for ever more even for setting up security.

[Babooshka]

The computer thing has been and gone, so have recovered from that violation. The issue is that he simply does not want to collect from my mum's house (Crosspool) because...well, cos they are obviously at loggerheads. It's THAT simple. He wants a go-between, but does not want ME to have one. He says it is not good for our son. Quite why, I do not know, as our son LOVES his nannan immeasurably, and loves being at her house.

 

Yes, Suffragette, it is the same guy who would not leave me alone since we broke up two years ago. I told his solicitor about this, in response to an earlier letter, and the evident problems in his current relationship, and he has, obviously, denied it all now...even though I have held on to the proof (ie all the texts!)

 

He has now told his solicitor that I refuse to drop his son at HIS house (which I do refuse to do, now considering what has happened). He keeps childishly threatening stuff like this...to tell his solicitor, or to take me to Court. However, the only reason he wants me to do this (drive down there) is so that he does not have to drive up here, cos he is tired from working so much.

 

It's all so crazy.

[Babooshka]

He is probably reading this now, considering he knows all my computer activity now! Ha ha.

[Bloomdido]

Is it too late to try for some kind of mediation via Cafcass, where he can agree to collect from another designated place? I have a friend who never has any contact with her ex, the dropping off and collection is always done via a third party (often me). It's not an ideal situation or experience for the kid/s.

 

CAFCASS only get appointed by the Court when agreement cannot be reached about residence or access. A form C1 needs to be submitted by either party and the Court 'process' begins. I have been through the system four times and would not recommend it to anyone.

[Suffragette1]

The computer thing has been and gone, so have recovered from that violation. The issue is that he simply does not want to collect from my mum's house (Crosspool) because...well, cos they are obviously at loggerheads. It's THAT simple. He wants a go-between, but does not want ME to have one. He says it is not good for our son. Quite why, I do not know, as our son LOVES his nannan immeasurably, and loves being at her house.

 

Yes, Suffragette, it is the same guy who would not leave me alone since we broke up two years ago. I told his solicitor about this, in response to an earlier letter, and the evident problems in his current relationship, and he has, obviously, denied it all now...even though I have held on to the proof (ie all the texts!)

 

He has now told his solicitor that I refuse to drop his son at HIS house (which I do refuse to do, now considering what has happened). He keeps childishly threatening stuff like this...to tell his solicitor, or to take me to Court. However, the only reason he wants me to do this (drive down there) is so that he does not have to drive up here, cos he is tired from working so much.

 

It's all so crazy.

 

Grrrrr . . . he sounds really childish and vindictive.

 

I would be extremely surprised if you denying him access to your property constituted a violation of his paternal rights, you're not denying him access to your son nor insisting on supervised visits. I don't think that your situation is at all uncommon. He's probably now too embarrassed to face your mum as he more than likely assumes that you've told her about his attempts to get back with you/sleep with you as well as the PC business. Tough, he needs to realise the consequences of his actions.

 

It must be costing you a fortune having to via the solicitors all of the time too. Is there any chance that you could drop your son off at his house and watch until he's safely in the house, as well as collect?

[EdnaKrabappe]

Although I agree morally he needs access to your child, he needs to have no dealings with you! Surely if you have asked him not to attend your property and he continues to do so, you can class this as trespass or stalking if you want to go that far.

 

I think he needs to realise he is walking a very thin tightrope with your patience and the fact you are allowing him the same access as before. If you didn't have a child, he needs to realise you'd have nothing to do with him! However you do, which isn't going to change, so until he gets over you, you need to keep him at a distance for his sake as well as yours.

 

I don't blame you one iota. He should not be looking at any of your property let alone a private computer. He no longer lives there and shouldn't act as if he does.