Collecting a Child

[Suffragette1]

Legal tripe about his 'right's.....which when the solicitors letters turn up prove to be 'requests' rather than rights. He is always throwing his weight around. It's all about control. He thinks he can now get a Court Order to impose his right to collect his son from my house.

And, you are correct, I have only ever encouraged him to see his son.

Anyway, won't bore you with this thread any longer...well, until the next installment. Actually, it does help me. As a single mum I sometimes find it difficult to get time to see people to talk. In fact, I don't really talk to people about this at all, so it is quite nice that I can get it off my chest on the good ole Sheffield Forum.

 

Thanks guys xxxx

 

Quite right, it's good to vent.

 

'Rights' my arse, I am 99% certain that he does not have any right whatsoever to collect your son from your house. He may have a desire to do so, and clearly he does, but right?! Grrrr . . . .

[medusa]

Babooshka- would you like to borrow a German Shepherd to sit behind your front gate for when he reckons he's coming round?

 

It would appear that he doesn't respond to sense, so I wonder how he'd respond to you meeting his threats head on.

 

Alternatively I would recommend a decent safety gate, which could be bought and fitted for only a couple of hundred pounds. Once the security gate is locked he can stand on the other side and rant as much as he likes.

[Dozy]

I know what you meant, Dozy...but I see MYSELF as the plonker who let him in to my house.

 

.....

 

Don't be daft, woman! You weren't being a plonker, you were doing your very best to make sure that your son could see his father, which is a lot more than many women would do, when faced with an idiot of this magnitude.

 

Legal tripe about his 'right's.....which when the solicitors letters turn up prove to be 'requests' rather than rights. He is always throwing his weight around. It's all about control. He thinks he can now get a Court Order to impose his right to collect his son from my house.

And, you are correct, I have only ever encouraged him to see his son.

Anyway, won't bore you with this thread any longer...well, until the next installment. Actually, it does help me. As a single mum I sometimes find it difficult to get time to see people to talk. In fact, I don't really talk to people about this at all, so it is quite nice that I can get it off my chest on the good ole Sheffield Forum.

 

Thanks guys xxxx

 

You come on here and have a good moan whenever you want - much better to let it all out, rather than let it fester inside.

[Babooshka]

Aww thanks guys. He actually turned up today. He was given the day off work so decided to come up today to collect the little one from school. That way all would be solved. I told him I had left our son's bag and car seat at my mum's....so what does he do? He turns up at MY house!! ????? I did not see him...I was 'unavailable'. And, I DO have a big safety gate he can't get past, so no need for the German Shep. Then he moaned about having driven for HOURS (it's 1 3/4 hours) to come here...only to find that I was not home, so then he had to drive the additional TWO minutes to go to my mum's, whereupon he sent in his girlfriend to collect the bag and car seat.

 

My mum did make me laugh though. She said, the last time he came for our son, she had put in some fruit for him as he is always hungry after school. She told the girlfriend what she had done. Two days later upon his return, mum saw that he had returned said fruit in his bag. I despair, but it is amusing. Well, that bit, anyway!

[Suffragette1]

Aww thanks guys. He actually turned up today. He was given the day off work so decided to come up today to collect the little one from school. That way all would be solved. I told him I had left our son's bag and car seat at my mum's....so what does he do? He turns up at MY house!! ????? I did not see him...I was 'unavailable'. And, I DO have a big safety gate he can't get past, so no need for the German Shep. Then he moaned about having driven for HOURS (it's 1 3/4 hours) to come here...only to find that I was not home, so then he had to drive the additional TWO minutes to go to my mum's, whereupon he sent in his girlfriend to collect the bag and car seat.

 

My mum did make me laugh though. She said, the last time he came for our son, she had put in some fruit for him as he is always hungry after school. She told the girlfriend what she had done. Two days later upon his return, mum saw that he had returned said fruit in his bag. I despair, but it is amusing. Well, that bit, anyway!

 

Christ, I'm getting worked up reading about your exe's antics! What does he possibly hope to achieve by coming to your house when there was absolutely no need to do so? He comes sniffing round to your house with his girlfriend in the car too, so on top of his harassment of you, he's also being totally inconsiderate towards her.

 

What are the arrangements for dropping off your son? He'll drive to your house, find you not in, whinge and moan that he's driven so far and now has to add an extra 2 minutes to his tortuous journey, then send his girlfriend into your mum's house to hand over your son and a piece of mouldy fruit? He sounds such a catch.

[Babooshka]

Who the hell knows what he will do when he returns our son. No idea where he will go. I won't even be in that day, so... he will have to drop him with my mum...although, his solicitors letter today says that he refuses to do that. Place your bets? I'll let you know a week on Saturday!

[Suffragette1]

Who the hell knows what he will do when he returns our son. No idea where he will go. I won't even be in that day, so... he will have to drop him with my mum...although, his solicitors letter today says that he refuses to do that. Place your bets? I'll let you know a week on Saturday!

 

Jesus wept. You must have the patience of a saint!

 

Do you have a car? One solution may be to meet at a halfway point to hand over your son, although that would mean you having to have face to face contact with him. Where does he live that takes him a 1 1/2 drive?

[Babooshka]

Ah! You see this is also a point of contention. I used to drive half way to meet him, but considering his immoral behaviour, I have refused to do this, henceforth. I simply can not deal with him and what he has put me through. Maybe that is selfish of me, I don't know, but at this point in time, I can not deal with that. While he may consider the aesthetics of how our behaviour looks to our son (although, to be fair, we do a damn good job of hiding it, and is son is one very happy little boy), one must also consider the psychological effects this has...on ME! I dread my mobile telephone beeping in case its' another message, yet he has to have my number in case of emergency. I simply can not see him at this juncture.

 

Yes, I do have the patience of saint. I think many a woman would have ended up in an institution by now! It is relentless! I can not work out how or when it will subside, but surely, it has to.

 

He lives 1 3/4 hrs south of here. Also, a bone of contention cos, two years ago, when he decided to abscond with current partner, and leave me and his son alone in the house for practically two months (and I knew exactly where he was), I decided to move home to Sheffield to be near my family, and all things familiar. This has never sat well with him, as in his eyes, all that happened was that I took away his son from him. BUT, he will not move any closer as he insists are living nearish to where he works...which is why HE does not want to make the drive to Sheffield. He feels he does enough, and that I should make things easy for him so he can continue to do his job more easily.

[horribleblob]

...I told him I had left our son's bag and car seat at my mum's....so what does he do? He turns up at MY house!! ?????

 

The fact that he hasn't bought a child seat for his own car is noteworthy. I have a friend who went through something remarkably similar to what you have described here, Babooshka. Be assured, it will end.

[Babooshka]

Oh horribleblob, if only it would. This has been going on for two years...although in varying degrees. I need it to end. I have no idea how I maintaining my sanity, or my strength to deal with the stress of it all. It is very hard to shut it off and keep it out of all the other aspects of my life on which I really have to focus. I would be interested to hear about your friend!!!!