Suffragette1 Posted October 21, 2010 Share Posted October 21, 2010 The fact that he hasn't bought a child seat for his own car is noteworthy. I have a friend who went through something remarkably similar to what you have described here, Babooshka. Be assured, it will end. Good point! Oh horribleblob, if only it would. This has been going on for two years...although in varying degrees. I need it to end. I have no idea how I maintaining my sanity, or my strength to deal with the stress of it all. It is very hard to shut it off and keep it out of all the other aspects of my life on which I really have to focus. I would be interested to hear about your friend!!!! I really feel for you, it sounds like a very stressful situation and I do not blame you for not wanting any face to face contact with him. Hopefully, he will soon get bored of these silly games when he does not get the desired reaction. If you can try and stay calm with him, hard I know, and maintain minimal contact he'll eventually give up with his nonsense. I hope that you have some nice things planned for next week and be good to yourself, you deserve it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Babooshka Posted October 21, 2010 Author Share Posted October 21, 2010 Ha ha! I am back at work tomorrow. Two weeks away pretty much, so no time to even have a small break, or time to myself. The golden runways at Heathrow beckon. Bad timing. Guess it will take my mind off junior being away. Man, I need some sleep!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suffragette1 Posted October 21, 2010 Share Posted October 21, 2010 Ha ha! I am back at work tomorrow. Two weeks away pretty much, so no time to even have a small break, or time to myself. The golden runways at Heathrow beckon. Bad timing. Guess it will take my mind off junior being away. Man, I need some sleep!!!! I imagine that it must feel really strange without him. I hate it when mine are away for one night, the house just feels so empty. Are you ground staff or air cabin? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Babooshka Posted October 21, 2010 Author Share Posted October 21, 2010 Air Cabin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wildcat Posted October 21, 2010 Share Posted October 21, 2010 Babooshka, things seem to be sorted at the moment but you can't let this go on. Have a look at these links. https://www.askthe.police.uk/content/Q151.htm http://www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-violence-survivors-handbook.asp?section=000100010008000100330002 Hopefully you won't need to use them, but know your rights and how to access them for your protection in the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Babooshka Posted October 22, 2010 Author Share Posted October 22, 2010 My GOD! It gets worse. He is due to bring him back next Saturday pm (30th) in time for a Halloween party, but because I will not be here myself, he is now REFUSING to bring him here, as he REFUSES to drop him at my mothers. I have replied to his solicitor advising him that this is what he must do...but I am thinking he may not bring him back if he knows I am not here. Oh my HEAD!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KenH Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 I am not an expert on all this stuff, but I think you should make records of everything and record all conversations. Then write and tell him what he must do otherwise he can't have the child that day. If he doesn't like it he will need to go to court and you will appear reasonable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheff Laser Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 Where did that bit come from? Babooshka said: "We have had a workable and amicable (ish) situation for almost two years. "- which is not the same as: "He has collected his child from my mother's house for the last two years." Thanks, pedant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Babooshka Posted October 22, 2010 Author Share Posted October 22, 2010 Oh KenH, I am recording everything. It's just unbelievable. We agreed in writing our son could stay with him from today 22nd til Saturday 30th. I allowed him to take him a day earlier as he had seen him for a long while due to work constraints. Now he refuses to return him on the agreed date, unless he can drop him with ME personally. THAT will be impossible as I will be at work. However, he refuses point blank to take him to my mothers...which is the exact instruction I laid out in my letter to his solicitor. My fear is that he won't bring him back until he knows I am home...and will then be banging down the door with our son in the middle of the night. I have bought our son tickets to a party with his friends for that evening, which is why I want him to go...and what was agreed...but I know my ex will use my 'absence' as another excuse to keep him longer, rather than spend an afternoon with my mother. I think it's all because my mother annoyed him when she dropped him a note a while ago expressing her opinion on the whole matter....a letter which he returned to her. He does not want to face her...yet I do not want to face HIM after everything that has happened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suffragette1 Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 Oh KenH, I am recording everything. It's just unbelievable. We agreed in writing our son could stay with him from today 22nd til Saturday 30th. I allowed him to take him a day earlier as he had seen him for a long while due to work constraints. Now he refuses to return him on the agreed date, unless he can drop him with ME personally. THAT will be impossible as I will be at work. However, he refuses point blank to take him to my mothers...which is the exact instruction I laid out in my letter to his solicitor. My fear is that he won't bring him back until he knows I am home...and will then be banging down the door with our son in the middle of the night. I have bought our son tickets to a party with his friends for that evening, which is why I want him to go...and what was agreed...but I know my ex will use my 'absence' as another excuse to keep him longer, rather than spend an afternoon with my mother. I think it's all because my mother annoyed him when she dropped him a note a while ago expressing her opinion on the whole matter....a letter which he returned to her. He does not want to face her...yet I do not want to face HIM after everything that has happened. AAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH. I said in an earlier post that he's clearly embarrassed about facing your mother and whilst I totally understand her sentiments and would be tempted to give him a piece of mind in her position, I do not think that sending him that letter was a wise move and unfortunately, it has had repercussions. She wasn't to know that at the time but I always feel that it's better to stay out of people's marital disputes/divorces/relationship problems as it can backfire spectacularly. Anyway, what's done is done all you can do is try and find a way of working around this. Firstly, what legal status do this written agreements have? Are they legally binding? Could he cautioned as he's breaching the terms of the agreement? You must be at your wits' end. So he's more than happy to allow his obstinacy to prevent his son from going to a Halloween party? It may be time to get some other agencies involved. He's harassing and emotionally blackmailing you as well as being horribly and very transparently manipulative. You don't want to be going through all this crap over the Christmas period. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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