Collecting a Child

[In Uppers]

He sounds like a real JackAss!

If I was the new girlfriend I would be questioning why he is so keen to see you all the time. Surely she would prefer him not to see you and just collect/drop off the child from your mums.

 

I think I'd want to smack him everytime I saw his face! (Bet you'd love to).

 

Keep your chin up Babooshka, you can always moan on here and you know someone will be listening and willing to advise.

[wibbles]

In true Jeremy Kyle style I would suggest that the childs interests be put first and a reasonable alternative arrangement be made a.s.a.p. This can then be addressed further along the line but in the meantime the child isn't losing out on spending time with their Dad and also isn't stuck in the middle of a petty argument. Sometimes you have to suck it up and take the high ground.

[Suffragette1]

In true Jeremy Kyle style I would suggest that the childs interests be put first and a reasonable alternative arrangement be made a.s.a.p. This can then be addressed further along the line but in the meantime the child isn't losing out on spending time with their Dad and also isn't stuck in the middle of a petty argument. Sometimes you have to suck it up and take the high ground.

 

The OP has proposed a reasonable alternative, it's the ex who is agreeing one minute then changing his mind the next. It takes both parties to be reasonable and he is the one letting the side down.

[Babooshka]

The day looms. It is not looking any better. I have given him three options via his solicitor, a) that he returns our son to my mum's house, b) that he returns our son to my mum at MY house, c) that he returns our son to a friend of mine at MY house. He is not happy with any of these. I will be on my way back from work at the time. I am limited in what I can do. He won't hand him over to anyone except me. I have not felt so dreadful for such a long, long time. Have just spoken with police. They did say they would send someone out to be with me, but that is a bit of a waste of resources, and does not solve the problem on a long-term basis. He is going to emotionally blackmail me for the rest of my days.

[Suffragette1]

The day looms. It is not looking any better. I have given him three options via his solicitor, a) that he returns our son to my mum's house, b) that he returns our son to my mum at MY house, c) that he returns our son to a friend of mine at MY house. He is not happy with any of these. I will be on my way back from work at the time. I am limited in what I can do. He won't hand him over to anyone except me. I have not felt so dreadful for such a long, long time. Have just spoken with police. They did say they would send someone out to be with me, but that is a bit of a waste of resources, and does not solve the problem on a long-term basis. He is going to emotionally blackmail me for the rest of my days.

 

I really feel for you. He is being a complete arse. He won't emotionally blackmail you for the rest of your days as legally, he can't and has no right to refuse to hand your son over to anyone but you. What does your solicitor advise?

[Babooshka]

She says there is not a lot I can do. I can either give in, and be there to receive my son...and subject myself to the next rollercoaster of demands....cos they WILL follow. Or, I can see what he does...and if he does not return him, I will have to wait until Monday to ring my solicitor, and get a Court Order to get him back. Trouble is, this is only going to happen again the next time he has him. He will always demand this. His NEXT demand, once he has secured this one, is that he will say he will not return our son unless I agree to meet him half way on the motorway, like I willingly used to do, but now refuse to do. And so it will go on, until he gets exactly what he wants, as usual.

[Suffragette1]

She says there is not a lot I can do. I can either give in, and be there to receive my son...and subject myself to the next rollercoaster of demands....cos they WILL follow. Or, I can see what he does...and if he does not return him, I will have to wait until Monday to ring my solicitor, and get a Court Order to get him back. Trouble is, this is only going to happen again the next time he has him. He will always demand this. His NEXT demand, once he has secured this one, is that he will say he will not return our son unless I agree to meet him half way on the motorway, like I willingly used to do, but now refuse to do. And so it will go on, until he gets exactly what he wants, as usual.

 

I cannot believe that there is nothing that you can do other than submit to his totally unreasonable demands. What happens when there are threats of violence and intimidation? This is outrageous. What would happen (and are you prepared to do this) if you refused him to have any further contact with your son until he agreed to the drop off and collection arrangements? You may need to go to such extremes to get him to stop this pathetic behaviour.

[Plain Talker]

She says there is not a lot I can do. I can either give in, and be there to receive my son...and subject myself to the next rollercoaster of demands....cos they WILL follow. Or, I can see what he does...and if he does not return him, I will have to wait until Monday to ring my solicitor, and get a Court Order to get him back. Trouble is, this is only going to happen again the next time he has him. He will always demand this. His NEXT demand, once he has secured this one, is that he will say he will not return our son unless I agree to meet him half way on the motorway, like I willingly used to do, but now refuse to do. And so it will go on, until he gets exactly what he wants, as usual.

 

Having told your solicitor what this pillock has threatened to do, I would be demanding that she give you her out of hours contact in case of an emergency arising as per his threats. You need to safeguard your son.

 

It sounds like this prat just wants you dangling from a string Babooshka, and it's not acceptable. Half way will become 60% your compromise, then 75%, then 90% and then he'll be demanding 100% on your part.

 

You could make concessions to being as awkward and immoveable as him, you know:- and insist, due to you taking, very seriously, his threats not to return your son, he only be permitted, on future occasions, to see your son in a supervised contact centre, up here....? *PT pulls her innocent expression*

[Plain Talker]

(PS - sounds like Suffy and I are thinking along the same lines:-

 

Play the beggar at his own game... )

[Plain Talker]

(PPS:- sounds like your solicitor is not much cop, either, TBH...? - I'd also be thinking about kicking her to the kerb, too!!! )