Bitterness: How do you deal with it?

[Hetty]

Don't be bitter. The person you are bitter against won't know how you are feeling and will just carry on as normal whilst you are letting bitterness eat you. Try to overcome those feelings. (I am not making light of this, but hope you can take note, good luck!!)

[harvey19]

I get a little bit grumpy at times...

 

Sometimes my words are caustic, and sarcastic, if someone does or says something that annoys me.

 

Then I feel bad, embarrassed and guilty, because I know deep down...i'm just bitter about something.

 

A thought came into my head the other day, and I thought that every time someone does, or says something to me that I don't like, I will just say in my head: "You cannot change the behaviour of others, just your own."

 

But words don't always diminish bitterness.

 

Any tips?

 

Try to remembefr the old saying - If you can't say anything good about a person say nothing at all.

[Treatment]

Try to remembefr the old saying - If you can't say anything good about a person say nothing at all.

 

Didn't Ronan Keating say that

[Lotusflower]

Bitterness from my past is slowly tearing my current relationship apart. My OH is a loving, patient lady and I try bloody hard not to let bitterness affect me but its not easy, Ive been with her for eight years and have 41 years of bitterness to overcome.

 

Ive tried depression pills by the bucketload but Im one of those people who cant take them, they just turn me into a raving lunatic.

 

Of course I didnt realise I was bitter, it was just part of my personality so I thought it was perfectly normal, part of who I was.

Now I have to try to filter out the bitter, nasty piece of work that I have become and attempt to save and hold on to the few decent bits of my personality.

 

and its not bloody easy

 

If you say it is'nt then it won't be.

Everything comes down to the choices we make. All of us build up a patterned series of responses to external events from the moment we're born.

We learn how to "deal" with things like not having your needs met from our time as children. As we grow older the patterns stay as if we were still children...they have become our automatic response mechanism.

 

One of the most beautiful things IMO that can happen to a person is to truly see the meaning of this word "choices." The power of choice gives us control if we use it wisely.

I sincerely hope you find your way through your present difficulties with love and humour.

[Jabberwocky]

Oh I`ll beat it, I always win over stuff like this. I just like to have a little moan now and again!

[purdyamos]

I had a terrible problem with bitterness and anger that I had difficulty keeping a lid on. It was always there, boiling away, and even if I tried to put on a pleasant front I think it leaked out in ways I wasn't aware of or couldn't consciously control.

 

I've said it before and probably people get sick of me mentioning it, but meditation changed things for me almost overnight. It seemed to help evaporate off the noxious boiling stuff somehow. I still have plenty of issues to keep me on my toes, but I don't seem to have the ongoing reactive irritation so much. It's a relief, but I do have to keep it up. If I miss a couple of days the boiling starts to well up again.

 

I hope metaphoria manages to find a way to clean out the basement too.

[julado]

I spent years being bitter (and twisted) over all sorts of things that I realised I couldn't change.....events, people, me!

 

Since becoming a Christian I have had prayer for deliverance from the bitterness, disappointment and rejection I have felt. I got baptised (full immersion) in August and I left all those former aspects of me in the baptistry...dead and buried.

 

Now when something arises that could mean the return of my old life ways I quickly re-think and take a different view.....and in my head I nail what is making me feel the way I do to the cross.

 

It's not how everyone would deal with bitterness but it works for me.

[metaphoria]

Could it be a need to feel acknowledged? Could it be you're "bitter" or maybe a better term would be resentfulness you're feeling? The "deep down" stuff is far less obvious to see for those close to you looking in. Depth can grab you like that sometimes, you want to scream at the world but you don't want it loud enough for all to hear.

 

Go for it, scream your lungs out.

 

 

Can you just not do it in earshot of me please.

 

Acknowledged? I suppose, but not by way of screaming at someone. Although, I can raise my voice when I'm not heard the first time, habitual use looses it's sense of importance, doesn't it?

 

I do feel resentful, but I don't feel that I have a right to, and even if I did have a right to, I don't want to feel resentful.

[metaphoria]

Go and get a couple of Dale Carnegie's books

 

I'm in two minds about the thought of winning friends and influencing people, but as I asked for advice, I'll download it of itunes, and reserve my judgement.

[metaphoria]

Don't be bitter. The person you are bitter against won't know how you are feeling and will just carry on as normal whilst you are letting bitterness eat you. Try to overcome those feelings. (I am not making light of this, but hope you can take note, good luck!!)

 

Quite right. I'm trying! thanks :-)