Jabberwocky Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 A couple of weeks ago I went on a bus. I was on my way home from town and a lady from a rather local and very smelly family climbed onto the bus and sat in the seat in front of me. The stench, my sweetys, was HORRIBLE! Now, I have a pretty good rop, I dont puke easily and things rarely turn my sweet little tummy-wum- you could eviscerate a baboon on my dinner table as Im eating bolognese and I wouldnt turn a hair, in fact Id probably turn the apes intestines into dessert but the reek from this woman almost got me retching. I sat and held my breath as much as possible while she sat there and marinated and a few bus stops later I was horrified to see her sisters climb aboard! And guess where they sat, poppets? Right behind me. The one in front turned around in her seat to talk to the ones behind, and the ones behind leaned forwards to talk to her, my ear wax melted and my eyelashes fell out and I broke the world record for holding your breath. Now, my little sex fiends, shall I attempt to describe the flavour of these ladies` bodily odours to you? Imagine unwashed armpits that have just been rubbed with the ... No... I`ll be banned for being TOO vile. Trust me, it wasnt nice at all, I rarely turn down offers of licking ladies all over, but these three... I reckon I just might say no if they offered themselves to me. Any road up, I got home and gasped in relief and took a deep, deep breath and.... I could still smell their fluids. Had a bath and a few hours later could still smell their fluids. Had another bath, caked myself in aftershave, deodorant, various flowery smelling things the OH uses and a few hours later.... could still smell their fluids... Since then Ive had at least twelve baths- I just got out of one now in fact and my Old Spice bottle is empty, Im fast running out of deodorant and my OH has yet to discover the ninety quid bottle of perfume that I used as mouthwash and I`m certain that in a few hours time I`ll be able to smell these ladies emissions.... A theory of mine is the particals of their odour is still lodged against my olfactory bits in my snotter and continue to fester, making me think I stink- no ones said that I reek anyway- but if there ARE bits of them lodged up there then its the gift that keep on giving because the stench isnt fading at all. Actually, come to think of it, I`m beginning to rather like it. Forgot what I was gonna ask now.... Just.... just talk among yersens for a minute until I remember.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spooky3 Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 1) Probably on your clothes, which then transferred to your carpet or chair, and then back onto you... etc... 2) Whilst spraying yourself with odour to get rid you formed an association, e.g. thinking of said bad odour whilst smelling 'nice' odour, so the neurological pathway was born. 3) Hell on earth has arrived for you dear chap... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jabberwocky Posted November 25, 2010 Author Share Posted November 25, 2010 They must have some impressive pores and stuff for a stink to be that strong then! I wonder what their armpits taste like....? Two of them have boyfriends and they dont appear to reek and Im wondering how much fun the act of Luuuuuuurve making must be for them. I might give the single one a try out to see what its like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spooky3 Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 They must have some impressive pores and stuff for a stink to be that strong then! I wonder what their armpits taste like....? Two of them have boyfriends and they dont appear to reek and Im wondering how much fun the act of Luuuuuuurve making must be for them. I might give the single one a try out to see what its like. Probably the Germans would like some crisps (chips) in that flavour, get a sample and analyse... You'll be a geezillionaire... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jabberwocky Posted November 25, 2010 Author Share Posted November 25, 2010 Or just cut out the middle man, peel their scabs off them, pop them into a bag and sell them as crisps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spooky3 Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 mmm, i'll have 800 euros worth please, do you deliver. Do the ones from the nether regions cost more or are they all priced equally? I am a gourmet type of chap you know! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jabberwocky Posted November 25, 2010 Author Share Posted November 25, 2010 Im not sure I could sell them come to think of it. I reckon theyd taste scrummy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spooky3 Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 Why, you can sell body fat as soap? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jabberwocky Posted November 25, 2010 Author Share Posted November 25, 2010 Edible soap.... Now theres a thought. These ladies are rather..... large too, I reckon I could start an entire cottage industry off their bum-bum cheeks alone! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spooky3 Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 What, as house warmers? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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