Ghostrider Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 Get some advice from a solicitor, get him out of the house - then find yourself a decent bloke ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrannyGranny Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 Classic signs of feeling tied down, life's too complicated, kids getting his down, wife isn't the same woman he married etc... He' s having the 7 year itch a couple of years late! Maybe he needs to get away for a few days, maybe a lads weekend so he can clear his head and realise how lucky he is and not to be such an idiot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cad&abounder Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 ...................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skinz Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 he said he loves me but he thinks by parting for a little while will give us both space and make our marriage stronger? he said he doesnt want to split up permantley... i think its a nicer way of saying i dont give a crap anymore, what do you guys think. First try not to panic, keep a cool head. Sometimes relationships do get a little claustrophobic. Maybe he's just having issues with himself and the world and because of immaturity you're taking the brunt of it, you are his only outlet. Just tell him very calmly that no matter the situation you and the children will not be parted, and has it occurred to him that the children may not want to be separated from you. On the other hand (the way he's conducting himself) if you were to leave him with the children I'd bet a lot of money he'll be screaming for you to get back home within a few days. If he can't handle a mid life crisis (which most men go through and get through without much bother other than looking a bit of a tit) he certainly won't be able to handle the responsibility of caring for the kids on a mature footing. If I was in your shoes I'd be looking for a bolthole just in case it gets awkward. Friends? Family? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skinz Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 Get some advice from a solicitor, get him out of the house - then find yourself a decent bloke ! She already did, but "decent" blokes change obviously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghostrider Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 She already did, but "decent" blokes change obviously. Ok then, find one that not a self centred moron Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skinz Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 Ok then, find one that not a self centred moron That's what I was implying. No one chooses a self centred moron. When we chose we chose because those we chose show themselves in a positive light, unless you have masochistic tendencies and you want a nutter. We have no control over the future characteristics of a person. So in effect what you're saying is 'leave him and take another risk'. At the moment all he has shown is his stupidity and immaturity. Rather than take another risk why not try with what you have, after all she does still seem to care for him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilypiglet Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 I think you've knocked the nail on the head there and now its up to you to decide whether or not you are prepared to accept such selfishness as his thoughts are clearly not with you in any of this. Have to agree here. If I'd had even half of this advice I'd be in a different situation now... 3 years ago I had the exact same thing with my ex-OH, we'd been together 12 years...then he wants some space, it's him not me, he's going for a new tattoo, and then a piercing, feels we should have some time apart...etc, etc...well it destroyed me, never saw it coming, I went out of my mind, but desperately wanted our marriage to work, so I gave him what he wanted, he moved to a friends place for his space, but then wouldn't even have a conversation with me, sent messages thro' his friend... Well it ended in divorce, he was actually already seeing someone else, a workmate who only a couple of months earlier had been at my dining room table eating my food... So he was playing his game all the way, I gave him the space but it was just an excuse...so looking on the advice given, I wish i would have got myself sorted with a solicitor STRAIGHT AWAY, and there are solicitors who will give legal aid if you have no money, the mental torment of THINKING it will work out is really not worth it, it sent me into a state of depression that ended with me losing a £35k job, my house and my self esteem... DON'T pander to his mind games, if he wants space..HE GOES, and you start a new life.. Good luck hun, I know what you are going thro'...believe me, heed the advice given....xxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cad&abounder Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 ........................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suffragette1 Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 Top advice skinz. Fairydust04 - as others have said, you have legal rights and cannot be thrown out onto the street by your husband, especially as you have children. It may just be an aberrant mid-life crisis type thing, however, if he is showing signs of abuse, which judging from what you've said, he is, then it could very well escalate. You are perfectly entitled to call the police next time he gets abusive, which would also safeguard you if this ever gets to court there will at least be a record and evidence of his behaviour. Good luck, I feel for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.