Responsibility and Parents

[chimay]

A friend of mine works in a nursery. Shes often comments that parents who put their child into nursery often only have to be full time parents for their 6 week annual leave. Which means that they may not get enough time to develop their own parenting skills. Parents have apparently commented on their child's 'bad behaviour' to the nursery staff and seem to expect the staff to be able to help them resolve their perceived problems which may in fact just be the 'terrible twos'.

[Ms Macbeth]

exactly that.

 

im sure it was medusa's sig (??) that said:

giving birth to a child no more makes you a parent than owning a piano makes you a pianist. or something similar?

 

it reminded me of my parents. none of us have been brought up to be mindless thugs, quite the opposite, but they just werent very loving parents.

they did know what discipline was though and none of us are criminals!

 

It was my signature for a while. You were almost spot on with the quote: Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.

 

My feeling is that anyone can have children, but not everyone is prepared to be a parent. Having a child is the biggest responsibility most of us will ever have. I know it made me grow up sharpish! None of us will get it right all the time, but if we bring children into the world, we have a responsibility to care for them and give them support into adulthood.

 

I want to pick up on AnnaB & chimay's comments about working parents. I don't necessarily agree. Most working parents are taking financial responsibility for their children. All the children in my grandchildren's nursery come from families who work. They are polite, fairly well behaved children. They don't get shouted and sworn at, they are expected to do as they are asked. They are given healthy meals, and are already learning to behave in a classroom situation which augurs well for starting school. Not working doesn't mean someone will make a good parent. And when no parent works (except in certain circumstances), how does a child learn about earning a living, and valuing what they've worked for and achieved? Attitudes and values are learnt in families. Unfortunately, one working parent earning enough to support a family isn't the norm nowadays.

 

I'd like to see some information comparing children's experiences growing up in non-working compared to working households.

[the_rudeboy]

We're now reaping the benefits of parents not being able to smack their kids, teachers being powerless at school and even the police not being able to give the little <REMOVED> a clip.

 

Even if they do get caught doing wrong, the punishments are pathetic.

[Location114]

Some may say not a day goes by where i dont see someone whinging about teenagers in my opinion society doesnt help the whole situation because teenagers are expected to fail and are expected to be mindless thugs so some of them think why not i think people just cant grasp the fact that no matter how you look at it there are some bad teenagers but on balance theres a lot of good ones too why should they have to proof thereselfes to people that are so narrow minded they just write them off before they exist yes there is a minority but then again theres adults that are mindless thugs etc no matter what anyone says at one point in our lives we have all done something that our parents really wouldnt like the fact of the matter is drinking etc is a process of growing up now im not saying everyone does it but the fact of the matter is most adults had a drink when they were younger as kids and most likely did things they regret just because individuals have now grown up and became adults it doesnt mean that they were immune from the whole TEENAGERS ARE THUGS label.

[lolliew]

Not all teenagers are thugs - however it is the REPORTED teenages who we hear about, not very often do you hear about the ones that are nice, who dont drink and cause trouble generally.

 

Not all teenagers are bad all the time (there are the few that are i grant you) and not all of them are good all the time, but like us, they have to learn how to behave and become adults.

 

I have no fear giving my kids a slap if they have deserved it (not often but it has been known to happen) and to chastise them if they do wrong.

[Ms Macbeth]

We're now reaping the benefits of parents not being able to smack their kids, teachers being powerless at school and even the police not being able to give the little scrotes a clip.

 

Even if they do get caught doing wrong, the punishments are pathetic.

 

I don't think small children necessarily need to be smacked - but they need guidance and attention. I suffered badly from corporal punishment being in the hands of a teacher who never should have been let loose on children, so I'm not altogether in favour of it. My kids weren't beaten at school, only got the occasional clip at home, and they've grown up ok.

 

I think the problems start very early on, its much rarer for a child brought up in a stable environment, and with loving and caring parents to be out of control, or into crime. When the schools or police get in touch with parents, some of them don't exactly show their children a good example. There have been incidences of parents threatening teachers with violence. What a good way to ensure their child values education. Not.

[spooky3]

Talking to a Police officer recently about the rising burglary levels in this and the surrounding areas lately, and supposedly it's virtually all one kid (17) and two of his mates.

 

Yet the number of people I know who've been affected by them is astonishing!