Where are all the 'they've banned Christmas' stories?

[Funky_Gibbon]

damn those lefty lentil eating terrorist loving health and safety do gooders

 

You missed out "workshy" and "scrounging" but other than that your application to become a Daily Mail journalist is looking pretty good

[melthebell]

weve had one

[HeadingNorth]

but thats not what people were trying to make out, what you said is a reason why youd be done, but generally people said youd be done just for having it on there

 

In theory you can be. There's no evidence that anybody ever was.

[saxon51]

This one's banned in most schools, I should think.

 

Well children: Long, long ago it was Father Christmas's job to supply us with our trees. And to ensure the fair and punctual delivery of said trees he used thousands and thousands of fairy-folk to deliver them. Some people believe they are elves, but elves don't have wings, silly.

 

Although the old gent was pretty laid back in most aspects of his life, he was getting a bit naffed off with the failure of the fairies to deliver all the trees in recent years.

 

This particular year he called all his little helpers together over a pint and made sure that they all knew of his displeasure about the failed deliveries. “Please!” he implored them, “Please make sure that all the trees are delivered this year or I will not be best amused.”

 

So, off they set. The little folk and their trees. Some with up to a thousand trees each.

 

Long, long days passed. Christmas drew nearer. Slowly the fairies began to return, empty-handed and gleeful. One by one they would receive a pat on the back from the jolly old gent …..... all, that is, except one.

 

Hour upon hour, day upon day this one fairy was nowhere to be seen.

 

“Anybody know where Nuff is?” asked Father Christmas.

 

All the fairy-folk shook their heads in denial. They knew that Nuff wasn't the brightest of creatures, but they doubted that even she would manage to get lost or eaten when carrying out such a simple task.

 

“Not to worry though,” muttered the big man, “At least we've managed to get rid of all the trees this year for once. Ho ho ho!!”

 

Then, just two days before the big day, who should appear dragging a rather battered and limp tree behind her? That's right children, it was Nuff, who looked sad and very, very embarrassed.

 

“That's Fairy Nuff,” they all shouted.

 

“What?!!” roared Father Christmas, “You have the audacity to return here with a tree left over?”

 

“Sorry,” pleaded Nuff, “I tried but I couldn't find anyone who hadn't already got one from Argos so I had to bring it back. What shall I do with it??”

 

So Father Christmas, fuming by now, told Fairy Nuff what she could do with it ….......

 

And that's why today we find a fairy on top of our trees children.

[melthebell]

In theory you can be. There's no evidence that anybody ever was.

not what the police said tho, they said YOU WONT BE DONE for having snow on your roof, that IS an urban myth, but if it does cause an accident youll be done for careless driving due to the snow

[hard2miss]

You can always rely on the Mail.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1337653/Stores-airbrush-Christ-Christmas-cards.html

There could be something in it, after all the super markets have had a secret agenda to have us all eat Hal Hal meat without informing us.

Maybe the Saudi's have a lot of money invested in them... ?

[melthebell]

There could be something in it, after all the super markets have had a secret agenda to have us all eat Hal Hal meat without informing us.

Maybe the Saudi's have a lot of money invested in them... ?

 

from the link you quoted, near the top

"Many stores display hundreds of different Christmas cards yet offer just a handful featuring traditional Christian scenes.

 

Some had no cards at all with religious references in their extensive ranges."

1: so you can STILL buy religious cards if you so wish

2: isnt it about choice to have various types of cards?

3: the vast majority of people these days arent practising christians and maybe theyve noticed tastes changing? they generally dont try to sell millions of things that dont sell?

[andygardener]

from the link you quoted, near the top

"Many stores display hundreds of different Christmas cards yet offer just a handful featuring traditional Christian scenes.

 

Some had no cards at all with religious references in their extensive ranges."

1: so you can STILL buy religious cards if you so wish

2: isnt it about choice to have various types of cards?

3: the vast majority of people these days arent practising christians and maybe theyve noticed tastes changing? they generally dont try to sell millions of things that dont sell?

 

Oh yeah, chuck in a couple of facts and then blame market forces for the situation. Typical lefty response. Everyone knows that the supermarkets wouldn't dream of stocking more products that will sell high volumes and less that will not sell well at all. The real reason there are so few religous christmas cards is meddling town hall beaurocrats, campaigns against christmas by angry beared foreigners, the EU and probably Sebb Blatter. And gypsies, espacially the gay ones.

[melthebell]

Oh yeah, chuck in a couple of facts and then blame market forces for the situation. Typical lefty response. Everyone knows that the supermarkets wouldn't dream of stocking more products that will sell high volumes and less that will not sell well at all. The real reason there are so few religous christmas cards is meddling town hall beaurocrats, campaigns against christmas by angry beared foreigners, the EU and probably Sebb Blatter. And gypsies, espacially the gay ones.

 

you been sniffing the slug killer again?

[Bigthumb]

I haven't seen any yet, surely a record for this time of year. Or have I missed any? Christmas just isn't the same without the traditional totally made up Christmas banning story.

 

Perhaps they've already all been banned. Its nice to see a festive Wallace & grommit on our Christmas stamps.