Alcoblog Posted December 11, 2010 Author Share Posted December 11, 2010 Not wishing to put a spanner in the works, because on the whole I think replacing santa with Stevie boy is a fine idea, I do think there are a few minor issues we need to iron out here. Is there likely to be a whole media storm about the '3rd elf on the balcony'? If I leave out a fray bentos pie should it have already had the lid removed or will they come equipped with tin openers as well as C4? What happens if Stevie gets into the fortified wine? We don't want a him at the helm of a modified apache gunship while loaded to the gills with cheap sherry. No probs concerning another balcony fiasco ... the SAS elves are equipped with invisibility shields (as first worn by my mate Angelina in 'Tomb Raider') In answer to your second question ... the SAS elves are fully equipped with plasma cutters which can find their way into the most fiendishly crafted pie tins! As I've said ... the 'boy' only drinks low alcohol fortified wine through a straw and his driving is, to be honest controlled by his computers and Garmin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alcoblog Posted December 11, 2010 Author Share Posted December 11, 2010 It's all well and good coming up with these new-fangled ideas, but what on earth do I leave out for an apache gunship?? I assume the usual carrot won't be acceptable. I'd appreciate a swift reply, as I'm about to finalise my Sainsbury's order. They're not apache gunships! They're mere toboggans compared to the super sleigh Lynx that 'the boy' is piloting! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dozy Posted December 11, 2010 Share Posted December 11, 2010 They're not apache gunships! They're mere toboggans compared to the super sleigh Lynx that 'the boy' is piloting! Dear gods, stop being so pedantic!! Whatever sort of hi-tech gadget is pulling the sleigh, I need to know what to leave out for it! Would a tin of WD40 be appropriate???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alcoblog Posted December 11, 2010 Author Share Posted December 11, 2010 Dear gods, stop being so pedantic!! Whatever sort of hi-tech gadget is pulling the sleigh, I need to know what to leave out for it! Would a tin of WD40 be appropriate???? Don't be dozy! ... a well placed saucer of kerosine or avgas fuel will well satiate a Lynx! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dozy Posted December 11, 2010 Share Posted December 11, 2010 Don't be dozy! ... a well placed saucer of kerosine or avgas fuel will well satiate a Lynx! Sorry - it's with being a feeble-minded gurlie, I just can't cope with techy things. I'll go and amend my Sainsbury's order accordingly!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alcoblog Posted December 11, 2010 Author Share Posted December 11, 2010 Sorry - it's with being a feeble-minded gurlie, I just can't cope with techy things. I'll go and amend my Sainsbury's order accordingly!!! Don't worry! ... I cant do 'techy' things either! I severely doubt that Sainsbury's does aviation fuel but you could give it a try! 'Lynx' aftershave may go down well (just a thought ....) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mort Posted December 11, 2010 Share Posted December 11, 2010 While out and about shopping for tankers of sherry and a truckload of pies I happened to spot these chaps. I think they might be in need of a touch more tinsel but otherwise, splendid job chaps, carry on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badgerramble Posted December 11, 2010 Share Posted December 11, 2010 I'd like to see the risk assessment forms for this please. My concern centres around Mr Hawkings piloting the Lynx. I know he is very capable, but this doesn't appear on his latest CV. I know ! The deal has only just been thrashed out, but Xmas is only around the corner and I don't think he can be upskilled in time. I have no worries about the SAS guys and explosives redesigning the walls near chimneys when the chimney itself isn't accessible, so happy not to see that part of the risk assessment. Also in these times of budgetary constraints will Mr Hawkings and his chaps be branching out into other areas once the Xmas rush is over e.g taking over from the Stork or Easter Bunny? I just want to know that all the hard work and training won't go amiss for the rest of the year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wildcat Posted December 11, 2010 Share Posted December 11, 2010 Don't worry! ... I cant do 'techy' things either! I severely doubt that Sainsbury's does aviation fuel but you could give it a try! 'Lynx' aftershave may go down well (just a thought ....) How does one go about shaving a lynx? Giving a domestic cat a tablet is hard enough Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alcoblog Posted December 11, 2010 Author Share Posted December 11, 2010 I'd like to see the risk assessment forms for this please. My concern centres around Mr Hawkings piloting the Lynx. I know he is very capable, but this doesn't appear on his latest CV. I know ! The deal has only just been thrashed out, but Xmas is only around the corner and I don't think he can be upskilled in time. I have no worries about the SAS guys and explosives redesigning the walls near chimneys when the chimney itself isn't accessible, so happy not to see that part of the risk assessment. Also in these times of budgetary constraints will Mr Hawkings and his chaps be branching out into other areas once the Xmas rush is over e.g taking over from the Stork or Easter Bunny? I just want to know that all the hard work and training won't go amiss for the rest of the year. Don't worry! Stevie 'boy's now the Lucasian professor of gift wrapping at Cambridge university. His new blockbusting publication about 'string theory' is getting rave reviews. He's already getting bookings for lectures in the new year and negotiations are underway at present with the easter bunny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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