Badgerramble Posted December 12, 2010 Share Posted December 12, 2010 Whilst it's normally very boring, I don't think that Channel 4 will cause people to spontaneously human combust! (unless of course there's a repeat on of 'Do they know it's Christmas or heaven forbid... a festive 'Go compare' ad!) Steve 'the boy' is currenty working in conjunction with NASA and myself to develop a protective 'time shield'or 'time bubble wrap' that will prevent any damage to gifts of questionable fragility. The added bonus to this is that the presents will only materialize under the Christmas tree after 8am on Christmas day to prevent peeking! Thanks Alcoblog. I am (mostly) reassured. Bit concerned about the 8am appearance of pressies though. Bit draconian that. Can you make it 6 am instead? It's just that I'm normally drunk by 8am and if you put the pressie appearance back to 6 am there's a chance that I might be able to open then before the Xmas cheer completely takes hold. Ho Ho Ho and Merry Xmas and all that malarkey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dozy Posted December 12, 2010 Share Posted December 12, 2010 Much as I appreciate your help Dozy, I don't think 'the boy' wants to be pulled through the skies by a flatulent Lynx helicopter powered by bull terrier gas, thank you very much! To answer your question ... much of my facility is powered by flatulence. The best way to collect it I find is to let it solidify in my underpants into little brown pellets. These can then be scraped out (with OH's dessert spoon) and mixed with other fossil fuels to power my small hadron collider and other essential scientific instruments. I suggest you look up'Staffordshire bull terrier pants' on Mr Google It's going to have to be the tin of lighter fuel, anyway, because the force of the farts kept disconnecting the hoover pipe. But I've got a pair of doggie pants somewhere, so I'm going to pop them on the dawg to see if I can manage to collect the farts using your tried and tested method. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alcoblog Posted December 12, 2010 Author Share Posted December 12, 2010 It's going to have to be the tin of lighter fuel, anyway, because the force of the farts kept disconnecting the hoover pipe. But I've got a pair of doggie pants somewhere, so I'm going to pop them on the dawg to see if I can manage to collect the farts using your tried and tested method. Dozy ... you're sending this thread way off kilter! This thread's about Stephen Hawking taking over as santa Claus, not about the gaseous expletions of a small doggie ... get a grip please! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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