Alcoblog Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 I may have made a mistake; Just employed a disabled elf to manage my garden facility. He arrived earlier on his Harley Goblinson motorbike (complete with stabilisers) and moved into the wendy house at the bottom of the garden ... just under the sycamore tree where the squirrels live. Yyffan the elf comes from Penperlleni in S Wales (just next door to Abergavenny) with a rather impressive CV. He designs custom made metallic red wheelchairs in his spare time. This will impress Stevie 'boy' Hawking no end. (Stevie 'boy's on an enforced holiday at the mo ... recuperating from his somewhat farcical stint of taking over from Santa Claus this Christmas) Thing is ... Yyffan's only been here for a couple of hours and already seems to be up to mischief! He's taken jump leads from my Small Fray Bentos Hadron Collider .... (3 phase if you please!) and wired them into the wendy house which now has the curtains closed! As I write ... the wendy house is illuminated from within by flashes of strange light, much akin to those given off by an arc welding machine! On top of that ... my favourite supercomputer (on free trial from the NASA- Ames Research centre) seems to have mysteriously disappeared! Do I have cause for concern ... what would you do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jabberwocky Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 You could try finding out his gnome address and then searching the place. Over the past few years there have been too many of these little bleeders coming over here, taking our jobs, our women and our collider parts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Macbeth Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 As an employer you need to ensure you're complying with 'elf'n'safety'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alcoblog Posted January 5, 2011 Author Share Posted January 5, 2011 As an employer you need to ensure you're complying with 'elf'n'safety'. Sort of expected that comment! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bukoo Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 As an employer you need to ensure you're complying with 'elf'n'safety'. Always gets me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plain Talker Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 As an employer you need to ensure you're complying with 'elf'n'safety'. but beware, he may have to go away for a couple of years, to do his national elf Service... ... I'll get my coat... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
123456A Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 Bring him into the kitchen and ask him to make a salad. You can discuss life, the universe and what he's actually getting up to by himself in the wendy house,whilst you both enjoy an elfy diet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thursday Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 ......Would advise a stelfy approach to this problem.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sibon Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 I may have made a mistake; Just employed a disabled elf to manage my garden facility. He arrived earlier on his Harley Goblinson motorbike (complete with stabilisers) and moved into the wendy house at the bottom of the garden ... just under the sycamore tree where the squirrels live. Yyffan the elf comes from Penperlleni in S Wales (just next door to Abergavenny) with a rather impressive CV. He designs custom made metallic red wheelchairs in his spare time. This will impress Stevie 'boy' Hawking no end. (Stevie 'boy's on an enforced holiday at the mo ... recuperating from his somewhat farcical stint of taking over from Santa Claus this Christmas) Thing is ... Yyffan's only been here for a couple of hours and already seems to be up to mischief! He's taken jump leads from my Small Fray Bentos Hadron Collider .... (3 phase if you please!) and wired them into the wendy house which now has the curtains closed! As I write ... the wendy house is illuminated from within by flashes of strange light, much akin to those given off by an arc welding machine! On top of that ... my favourite supercomputer (on free trial from the NASA- Ames Research centre) seems to have mysteriously disappeared! Do I have cause for concern ... what would you do? This is what you get for being a touchy feely left winger. Employing disabled immigrants is asking for trouble. There are a number of threads on this very forum that can verify this. All fully linked to stories in the Daily Mail as evidence of their truth. I suggest that you confront this so-called elf with your evidence and send him back to elfland. Then it would be fairy nough to advertise for an indigenous employee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jabberwocky Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 I might have to report this thread to the Campaign for equal heights. Its definately shortist! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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