Badlittlepup Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 I agree that it totally depends on the issues involved. My oh has some health issues and I've always been the bread winner, however its relatively minor. She earns half what I do but spends twice what I do, she has a decent car, house etc. Whilst if she was ill, or being bullied at work and had to leave etc (and I have supported her through that) I dont see why heavy periods or frequent tiredness (or similar) should exempt her from work. I cant pack in when I dont feel like it cos everything we have and will have is on the back of me (she works etc but you take my point!). Now my Oh has had time out, for example waiting for the right job after redundancy but some things I wouldnt wear. Perhaps he doesnt understand your illness or is frustrated? I get like this sometimes. I feel like I slave away and have nothing, I earn decent money and have a crap phone, crap clothes etc because I have always put the OH first. She isnt bad and doesnt make me dip out but I could never buy £100 pair of jeans when I could buy £20 ones and let her spend £80 on a dress. Maybe hes frustrated, doesnt understand your issues and feels hard done by. Perhaps wrongly but I'd guess he feels that way But equally, if something DID happen to you and you became ill would your partner do the damndest they could to support you whilst you regained your health and cut back her spending? If not she would be as bad as the OPs partner. In the OPs situation I would be considering whether to ditch him or not, but in the situation she's in at the moment without having her own full time wage she may well be stuck between a rock and a hard place regarding somewhere to live and ability to pay the bills. But if I was her I would definitely question whether I wanted to stay in the relationship, because anybody who genuinely cared about their partner would put their health first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smack Jack Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Bit harsh but i get your drift. OTT I think, relationships are fifty fifty. The OP may be really poorly and need a break but god they might need to just break themselves back in slowly and be suffering a lack of confidence as they've been out of the work game a bit. It depends on the circumstances. If its cancer or summat then man your right Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katedave Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 health every time in my day men worked woman were at home to welcome kids home with love and a warm meal somehow we managed but our expectations were a lot lower. was it better then or now ill let you decide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rampent Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Dear Forum....gives user option to remain private. Why remain private? I don't want to bug the admins etc, why does the user wish to remain private? Most of us on here are all under whacky names, why not this one? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cressida Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Health - last year I had Tendonitis and it has taken five months for my ankle to return to normal, some of that time I found I could only walk properly - with the aid of painkillers - for a short while. When my ankle returned to its normal size it was wonderful, but I won't forget how difficult it was and when I see people walking with sticks or very slowly I feel very sorry for them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halibut Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Health - last year I had Tenderitis and it has taken five months for my ankle to return to normal, some of that time I found I could only walk properly - with the aid of painkillers - for a short while. When my ankle returned to its normal size it was wonderful, but I won't forget how difficult it was and when I see people walking with sticks or very slowly I feel very sorry for them You didn't, there's no such thing. Did you mean tendonitis? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rampent Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Heath comes from being happy and a good enviroment. Having nothing suggests being very unhappy and living in a bad enviroment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cressida Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 You didn't, there's no such thing. Did you mean tendonitis? Oh dear not again, yes:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smack Jack Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Why remain private? I don't want to bug the admins etc, why does the user wish to remain private? Most of us on here are all under whacky names, why not this one? Because there are forum meets, conversations off forum and like myself the OP may know several users outside the forum - there are half a dozen or more on here I know. Not sure if they know my id on here but I know them well enough to spot them. A forum like this can never truly be private Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
retrogo Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Dear Forum... What is more important to people - your health or money? Me and my partner had this debate yesterday as I've been off work sick for a while and I spoke to my partner about the possibility of me going back part time if my manager is OK with that. I was thinking part time at least until I get a diagnosis and get on top of my health problems and get them under control. He says at my age I should be working full time instead of wanting to work part time and sit around doing nothing for the rest of the time. He says he can't afford to support me going part time as he has a daughter from a previous relationship to support. I had already worked out we could just afford for me to go part time but we would have to tighten our belts. To which I got the reply "I have never struggled for money, I'm not going to start now." He then went on to tell me that he prioritised money before my health as money pays the bills. I said my health should come first. So who do people think is right? Should health or money come first? Can't be healthy in a monetry bassed society. Health costs money! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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