EdnaKrabappe Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 I think both to be very honest* and without knowing your exact condition I don't think any of us are in a position to judge. You may be very ill, incurably and that would mean you looking at the type of work you do and if it is the correct type of work for yourself or if indeed you need benefits. You may have a condition that is exaccerbated by the type of work you do, again you may need to change jobs or not work at all. I don't think it's right for any of us to judge you or your partner and I think you need to ask yourself, are you worried about returning to work and therefore need to consider help in your confidence and esteem or do you need welfare help. From what your post says, it seems like he is feeling a little put on and only you know if that's something you can solve or not and whether he is being fair in that. If you leave him, you are going to have to support yourself anyway and can you do that? I don't think you are going to get answers to this on the forum as we simply don't know enough facts. Sorry if that sounds harsh. *obviously health but if you can work, you should work if you need the money IMO. Plus bills don't pay themselves. As a single girl, I have to always put money first as noone else will earn it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allen Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Dear Forum... What is more important to people - your health or money? Me and my partner had this debate yesterday as I've been off work sick for a while and I spoke to my partner about the possibility of me going back part time if my manager is OK with that. I was thinking part time at least until I get a diagnosis and get on top of my health problems and get them under control. He says at my age I should be working full time instead of wanting to work part time and sit around doing nothing for the rest of the time. He says he can't afford to support me going part time as he has a daughter from a previous relationship to support. I had already worked out we could just afford for me to go part time but we would have to tighten our belts. To which I got the reply "I have never struggled for money, I'm not going to start now." He then went on to tell me that he prioritised money before my health as money pays the bills. I said my health should come first. So who do people think is right? Should health or money come first? Dump the tosser. If money is more important (my bold) to him than you are he's shown his true worth as a partner. Give him the elbow, and quick. I gave up a good job, car... the lot, to care for my sick wife diagnosed with cancer. Any thoughts of asking her to work were non existant. Thoughts of leaving her to fight the illness alone while I worked never entered my head. Her health and well being came first. We live off benefits....but I've no regrets. As she reaches end of life I'd give everything.... what litttle cash we have, the house, the lot...if only she had her health back. I truly hope your health improves soon and you are able to return to work....but give serious consideration to the relationship you have with your partner. It doesn't seem to be loving on his part. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rampent Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Dump the tosser. If money is more important (my bold) to him than you are he's shown his true worth as a partner. Give him the elbow, and quick. I gave up a good job, car... the lot, to care for my sick wife diagnosed with cancer. Any thoughts of asking her to work were non existant. Thoughts of leaving her to fight the illness alone while I worked never entered my head. Her health and well being came first. We live off benefits....but I've no regrets. As she reaches end of life I'd give everything.... what litttle cash we have, the house, the lot...if only she had her health back. I truly hope your health improves soon and you are able to return to work....but give serious consideration to the relationship you have with your partner. It doesn't seem to be loving on his part. Totally agree Allen, I wish only the best for your wife and yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rivelin6 Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 You have to be trolling with that response, right? (you've definitely proved you are a male...) I agree, tiredness can be a result of a more serious medical problem. Until I found out I had thyroid problems I routinely had to go to bed every afternoon due to excessive tiredness and certainly couldn't done full time work. Even now I struggle on tablets as they make me hyper and keep me awake at night so I'm very tired in the day. Nobody can judge another person's ability to work apart from the person concerned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lotusflower Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Dear Forum... What is more important to people - your health or money? Me and my partner had this debate yesterday as I've been off work sick for a while and I spoke to my partner about the possibility of me going back part time if my manager is OK with that. I was thinking part time at least until I get a diagnosis and get on top of my health problems and get them under control. He says at my age I should be working full time instead of wanting to work part time and sit around doing nothing for the rest of the time. He says he can't afford to support me going part time as he has a daughter from a previous relationship to support. I had already worked out we could just afford for me to go part time but we would have to tighten our belts. To which I got the reply "I have never struggled for money, I'm not going to start now." He then went on to tell me that he prioritised money before my health as money pays the bills. I said my health should come first. So who do people think is right? Should health or money come first? Hello, The first question that I would be asking myself is..."Why did this person say those things?" Is he saying he does not love me or is this a sign of the stress he is under? The impact of stress in a person's life can be a trigger to irrationality. Only you know what is right for you...not me or anyone else. I wish you the courage to make the right decision for yourself. I hope you get your diagnosis soon and that you and your partner will resolve the difficulties. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berberis Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Money for the simple reason the rich live longer because they can afford better quality foods. Just look at the royal family. They eat a lot of game caught on their estates, all wild and totally free of chemicals and they live forever. Apart form those who like the sauce that is Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
espadrille Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Dear Forum... What is more important to people - your health or money? Me and my partner had this debate yesterday as I've been off work sick for a while and I spoke to my partner about the possibility of me going back part time if my manager is OK with that. I was thinking part time at least until I get a diagnosis and get on top of my health problems and get them under control. He says at my age I should be working full time instead of wanting to work part time and sit around doing nothing for the rest of the time. He says he can't afford to support me going part time as he has a daughter from a previous relationship to support. I had already worked out we could just afford for me to go part time but we would have to tighten our belts. To which I got the reply "I have never struggled for money, I'm not going to start now." He then went on to tell me that he prioritised money before my health as money pays the bills. I said my health should come first. So who do people think is right? Should health or money come first? In answer to your question. I believe for you that this (in bold) is the most important thing. Getting this is the first step.Ultimately this will enable you to at least know what the problem is. You cant tackle a problem with out knowing what it actually is. You can then determine what to do when you get the outcome and tbh, if money comes first with your partner rather than you then you need to strength to fight the fight on your own, but at this stage that wont help. Get the diagnosis first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wednesday1 Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Money for the simple reason the rich live longer because they can afford better quality foods. Just look at the royal family. They eat a lot of game caught on their estates, all wild and totally free of chemicals and they live forever. Apart form those who like the sauce that is Coupled with the fact of course that they don't do anything! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hels1977 Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Putting money before your own health is one thing, putting money before someone else's health is just selfish. Couldn't have put it better myself. Talk to him, because if that's really how he feels, I would be incredibly concerned for the relationship going forward. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berberis Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Coupled with the fact of course that they don't do anything! That's very true! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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