Digsy Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 Perhaps someone should invent bum tampons?. Funny you should mention that I here's a fart catcher, it's still undergoing clinical animal trials before it will be released for public use. So far the side effects are:- Severe anal discomfort, rash, bleeding, paranoia and depression, and in extreme cases the odd exploding cow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fareast Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 Hey, Digsy, thinking about ' explosions ' ------- might be a boost there for the insurance companies ? 'Cos, if they do set up little, enclosed booths to do spot checks on people 's Anal Wind Output [ another take on AWO ? ], then, they 'd have to be a bit careful. For example at the wrong moment, if the tester.....or testee.......happened to light up a fag or a nearby prat set off a firework, then the booth and the occupants could all go up in smoke.......or obnoxious gases anyway ? This means that even those walking near to the Fart Testing Booths would be wise to be insured------plus, of course those working inside such a hell-hole [ ! ]. It could be more dangerous than using an ATM machine on any U.K. High Street after 9.p.m. !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digsy Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 Hey, Digsy, thinking about ' explosions ' ------- might be a boost there for the insurance companies ? 'Cos, if they do set up little, enclosed booths to do spot checks on people 's Anal Wind Output [ another take on AWO ? ], then, they 'd have to be a bit careful. For example at the wrong moment, if the tester.....or testee.......happened to light up a fag or a nearby prat set off a firework, then the booth and the occupants could all go up in smoke.......or obnoxious gases anyway ? This means that even those walking near to the Fart Testing Booths would be wise to be insured------plus, of course those working inside such a hell-hole [ ! ]. It could be more dangerous than using an ATM machine on any U.K. High Street after 9.p.m. !! What happens if the person doing any examining happens to let one out of you whilst examining, who's to blame, you or the person doing the examining. Do you get arrested for doing the deed and the examiner for aiding abetting the deed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fareast Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 You 're right -----this could create legal complications that could tie the High Court up in knots for years. Even more complicated would be the situation where the examinee [ for the sake of simplicity, let us call him ' The Gas Measurement Co-ordination Officer { South Yorkshire Division } ] also emitted a portion of noxious fumes whilst performing the anal operation on the examinee. How would it be possible to measure the two emissions accurately ? If the G.M.C.O.[sYD] was what we experts call a ' Silent Bowel Gas Emission Operator ' the examinee might be unaware that outside, alien fumes had been added to his / her own productions ! However, difficult as all this might be, the problem MUST be tackled. Now that the deadly pong of tobacco smoke has been curtailed, putting a 'stopper' on [ or putting a stopper IN ] obnoxious anal fumes cannot be far behind [ ! ] It will be sheer heaven for those of us who wish to travel in elevators without having to arm ourselves with pegs, perfumed handkerchiefs or powerful sprays. Three Cheers for Progress ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucifer Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 You couldn't make it up... Link here. Blown out of all proportion yet again, sniff and it will all go away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fartown Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 The people who have moved in next door are from Malawi. I was wondering why they chose to move here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BettyBooHoo! Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 I wonder if this new law will be applicable for lady wees (on those occasions where a little pump comes out whether you like it or not)? Is there any leeway? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucifer Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 You couldn't make it up... Link here. Beanz meanzs farts, we all need that, but we should make our excuses, leave the room and release the pleasure at will. Malawi, I remember the the Helawi, the pygmis who who lived in the long grass on the african plains who used to jump up and shout were the Helawi. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flowersfade Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 I wonder if this new law will be applicable for lady wees (on those occasions where a little pump comes out whether you like it or not)? Is there any leeway? Lady wee's? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rupert_Baehr Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 Perhaps that's something like tomcats do when they mark their territory? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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