Hannah1915 Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 Just wondered if anyone would share their thoughts about people who abuse their partners? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Closet Guy. Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 Its wrong. Who is abusing you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andyofborg Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 or who are you abusing? either way it is wrong and if you are in an abusive relationship then you need to end it now, there are groups and other agencies who will support you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hannah1915 Posted January 29, 2011 Author Share Posted January 29, 2011 no-one is abusing me - no worries! And I'm certainly not abusing anyone! A friend of mine split with her husband after years for this reason. She is a shell of the woman she used to be - thanks to him. Yet she won't do anything about it for fear. She has had and is getting loads of support from groups -yet her ex husband has got away with doing this to her. Is this right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daisywoo Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 completely not right but the police generally do nothing about it. My family had the same experience with my dad when i was little and nothing was done to him, he'd always be released straight away on 'a technicality' or the police just saying 'he's gone now though'. hope your friend feels better eventually =) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alien Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 no-one is abusing me - no worries! And I'm certainly not abusing anyone! A friend of mine split with her husband after years for this reason. She is a shell of the woman she used to be - thanks to him. Yet she won't do anything about it for fear. She has had and is getting loads of support from groups -yet her ex husband has got away with doing this to her. Is this right? Can you clarify a few points? Your friend has split from her abuser? and the husband (the abuser) is still abusing her even though they've split? Which groups is she receiving support from? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel's Mum Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 The problem with DV is that a very clever abuser will make his/her partner feel like they deserve the abuse. A lot of abused people wont speak out as they become convinced that they brought it on themselves. They then cant face their friends or families as they feel they are a lower class citizen and thereby become isolated. After long periods of isolation they then feel they wouldnt be able to cope without their partner and so the cycle continues making it harder and harder to break free as the years go by. Its not right but its very hard to help as the victim themself is often very secretive about their situation. All you can do is be there for your friend and try and keep an eye on her from a distance (call her regularly or drop round unannounced) so that she knows she still has outside support. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laineyiow Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 My daughter was in an abusive situation but managed to get out of it by going to the police in another town who got her into a refuge. No charges were actually brought against the abuser as she wouldn't make a formal statement even though I and the police wanted her to as he already had served a prison sentence for violence but she wouldn't for fear of reprisals. As it seems this bloke hadn't changed even after serving a prison sentence maybe he should never have been released from prison in the first place - maybe he's now back in prison - but that's something we will never know - but he certainly doesn't deserve freedom to be able to terrorise women. To my way of thinking he is just a weak man and a bully that can only get through life through the control of another human being. My daughter was one of the lucky ones - the police did help her to get away - and after lots of help and support her life has changed completely. She is now in a loving relationship and is a confident and loving mum to a gorgeous little boy. Something she thought would never happen as she believed she wasn't good enough or worthy to be a mum!!! Her confidence and self-esteem had been well and truly shot through her ordeal but with lots of support and help she is now a much more confident person who now believes in herself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missymoo73 Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 They are sick people whoever is doing it, be it male or female. Thats what an abuser does, they belittle you and put you down so much and make you feel worthless and that no one else will want you so you stick around because you believe what they are saying is true. I can't blame her for not wanting to do anything about it because you feel ashamed for putting up with it for so long and you feel that people will judge you for being (what u believe) weak. Hope she can get help even if its just to talk about her feelings and build up some self confidence. Just be there for her if she does decide to talk. As far as he is concerned, she needs to leave well alone because if contact is made then he will think there is a chance of getting back together and can try and minipulate her to going back. Good luck to your friend. Hope she gets her life back on track. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*_ash_* Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 no-one is abusing me - no worries! And I'm certainly not abusing anyone! A friend of mine split with her husband after years for this reason. She is a shell of the woman she used to be - thanks to him. Yet she won't do anything about it for fear. She has had and is getting loads of support from groups -yet her ex husband has got away with doing this to her. Is this right? Mentally, physically, or both? I would think that this is important before answering this... -yet her ex husband has got away with doing this to her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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