I'm going it alone..

[Raychul69]

After 2 happy years together and 4 unhappy years of marriage I've made the decision to separate from my husband.

 

I haven't been on my own for almost 10 years and the thought is terrifying me

 

I'm moving out in a couple of weeks and everything is amicable with regards to our little boy who is 2. I'm moving literally 2 mins away so he can have him and see him as much as he wants.

 

I've talked to Noah and told him that mummy and daddy are going to live in separate houses but we love him very much his response was "Spongebob Square Pants rocks"

 

I don't know whether I'm best trying to talk to him again or is he too young?, do I move out and just answer questions as and when they arise? One thing me and the ex have said is that we will be as honest as we possibly can with him.

 

I never thought I would EVER be in this situation and always thought to myself that I would know how best to handle it apparently that isn't the case

 

My mum and dad stayed together till me and my brother were older and we hated seeing them argue all the time. I have now decided that my DS is better to come from a broken home than live in one!

 

Is there anybody going through a similar situation?!

[melthebell]

good luck.....

[*Wallace*]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ yes good luck.

[Raychul69]

Cheers guys

[medusa]

I think he's probably too young to understand the concepts at the moment, so I'd just do the best for him and answer questions when they come up.

 

I took on twins at 2 years old when I started a relationship with their dad after he and their mum split up and they did ask questions, but not until they were about 5.

 

If the two of you have made the commitment to put your son and his needs first then I'm sure that your little one will be fine

[spiritangel1]

you do what you need to do for you,its not so scary on your own if you have support from others,is better to be brought up with 2 loving parents than 2 who are at odds all the time,i would deff answer ? as and when they arise and take 1 day at a time,be brave we have one life so live it and good luck to you am sure you b fine xx

[chimay]

Make sure you get custody/access/maintenance etc set up legally. Situations change and whatever is amicable now may not be so amicable in future.

 

My ex and I spilt up when my youngest was 2. It was never amicable and took a huge effort on my part to make sure my son didn't get caught up in any of the nastiness. One of the lasting memories I have of the time my ex and I separated was having my 2 year old sat on the sofa in his coat and shoes waiting for his dad to pick him up for the day. He didn't turn up and it almost broke my heart when I had to take my son's coat and shoes off and tell him that daddy wasn't coming.

[Raychul69]

Make sure you get custody/access/maintenance etc set up legally. Situations change and whatever is amicable now may not be so amicable in future.

 

My ex and I spilt up when my youngest was 2. It was never amicable and took a huge effort on my part to make sure my son didn't get caught up in any of the nastiness. One of the lasting memories I have of the time my ex and I separated was having my 2 year old sat on the sofa in his coat and shoes waiting for his dad to pick him up for the day. He didn't turn up and it almost broke my heart when I had to take my son's coat and shoes off and tell him that daddy wasn't coming.

 

I totally appreciate your advice, thank you. I'm not going down the road of maintenance custody etc for a couple of reasons....The first being we will have our DS an equal amount of time so neither of us will give each other money for things he needs....I am going to be helping my ex out for a little while as I was the main earner and he is going to really struggle till he gets extra work.

When we met, his daughter was only 2, at first things were fine between him and his ex but then over time we were able to see her less and less. I have been there and watch it destroy him and would NEVER put him through anything like that again

[natjack]

I suppose I'm going to get flamed, but I need to ask. You say you've been unhappy for four years. If you'd already been unhappy for a year or so, why did you go ahead and have a kid? Did you think a baby was going to make a bad situation better?

[Raychul69]

I suppose I'm going to get flamed, but I need to ask. You say you've been unhappy for four years. If you'd already been unhappy for a year or so, why did you go ahead and have a kid? Did you think a baby was going to make a bad situation better?

 

My DS is actually nearer 3 than 2, he's 3in April. We had been trying to have a baby for quite a while, after numerous miscarriages I finally fell pregnant and found out on the Bank Holiday weekend in the August 2007, we had got married in July 2007 so he was almost a honeymoon baby, I found out in the morning by tea time I had found out my ex had cheated on me with one of my friends before AND after we got married

 

I wanted to make it work because we had been given something that we never thought we could have and I thought maybe it was a sign that we should try and sort things out.

 

I would never consider having a baby with anyone unless I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with them, be married and love them a million percent.