chimay Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 I totally appreciate your advice, thank you. I'm not going down the road of maintenance custody etc for a couple of reasons....The first being we will have our DS an equal amount of time so neither of us will give each other money for things he needs....I am going to be helping my ex out for a little while as I was the main earner and he is going to really struggle till he gets extra work. When we met, his daughter was only 2, at first things were fine between him and his ex but then over time we were able to see her less and less. I have been there and watch it destroy him and would NEVER put him through anything like that again When I met my ex he already had a 3 year old daughter and I was there when he went through the custoday/access/maintenance battle with her mum. When we split up 5 years later he vowed it would be different. But it didn't last; he couldn't maintain the effort it needed to be a good absent dad. I do hope everything turns out OK for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tattoogirl Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 I left my ex when our son was 2, I wasn't asked any questions and it didn't seem to affect him at all. My son started asking questions when he was 5 and I tried to explain best I could why mummy and daddy weren't together but we loved him just as much. I think doing it now would be best as your child wont understand the concept much whereas if he were older it would effect him more. Good luck with everything Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chimay Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 I left my ex when our son was 2, I wasn't asked any questions and it didn't seem to affect him at all. My son started asking questions when he was 5 and I tried to explain best I could why mummy and daddy weren't together but we loved him just as much. I think doing it now would be best as your child wont understand the concept much whereas if he were older it would effect him more. Good luck with everything I agree with you tattoogirl. I can't remember my youngest asking questions about the situation. Either I was good at explaining things to him or he just accepted the situation because he couldn't remember a time when his mum and dad lived together. Or so many kids come from oen parent families that it was just the norm......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nutronic Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 Me and my ex split recently and we have 2 kids together and the eldest who is 5 still asks me why I am not there anymore and also lost as what to say. I've not been single for 10 years and it's still hard for me but apparently it will get easier as time goes on. The reason me and the other person split was down to my actions which I regret but one thing I will never regret is the continuous love I have for her and my kids and also I will never regret meeting her on Feb 16th 2004 at Meadowhall. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cressida Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 Good for you and your little boy, I would never get married again I couldn't stand losing my space and my independence. I couldn't be bothered going through the whole divorce process again, when my ex re-married I was so relieved, I thought he might reappear again. With a new man separate houses are a must, no taking me for granted, no slobbing out in front of the TV - they can be immovable whereas when they call for you everything is fresh and most of all the romance is there;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flowersfade Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 Good luck to you.Best wishes for the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shefflive! Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 I totally appreciate your advice, thank you. I'm not going down the road of maintenance custody etc for a couple of reasons....The first being we will have our DS an equal amount of time so neither of us will give each other money for things he needs....I am going to be helping my ex out for a little while as I was the main earner and he is going to really struggle till he gets extra work. When we met, his daughter was only 2, at first things were fine between him and his ex but then over time we were able to see her less and less. I have been there and watch it destroy him and would NEVER put him through anything like that again Can I just say my god your amazing. I wish my ex was half the woman you are. As you will apprecaite from the info supplied. Respect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Longcol Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 All the very best Raychul - very brave of you - hope it all works out OK. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nutronic Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 Broken homes are never a good thing but like what has been said it's better than an unhappy one. We can't all have perfect marriages. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dozy Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 Broken homes are never a good thing but like what has been said it's better than an unhappy one. We can't all have perfect marriages. Just ignore it - the poster is obviously just trying to stir things up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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