mj.scuba Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 I'm still on the fence, but I know the childfree (rather than childless) movement is quite big in the US - you could try googling 'childfree by choice' and see if there's any information available to you there. What I will say is that it's none of your friends and family's business what you decide and if it was me in your situation I'd tell them that at the first hint of a judgmental comment... I'm a parent of two, I don't pretend to understand why people choose not to have kids. I more don't understand a childfree movement that pushes a childfree agenda to other people anymore than any anyother legal activity that people have a free choice to participate in. I've never done ice skating and I've no ambition to either, but starting a campaign for an ice skating free society would be somewhat futile and pointless, for example. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bulgarian Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 I've never wanted children, which is lucky I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
llamatron Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 I'm a parent of two, I don't pretend to understand why people choose not to have kids. I more don't understand a childfree movement that pushes a childfree agenda to other people anymore than any anyother legal activity that people have a free choice to participate in. I've never done ice skating and I've no ambition to either, but starting a campaign for for an ice skating free society would be somewhat futile and pointless, for example. Maybe its just so that people don't feel so alone in their opinions, rather than to push their agenda. I always feel better when people say "I don't want children either". It stops me feeling such a freak! Although I wouldn't join! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ronthenekred Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 i dont want kids and my boyfriend does, obviously this is a bit of a problem. i have always said from the off that i didnt want kids but he really really does. we have been together over 2 years. i think he is hoping i will change my mind, im 30 and have no urges to start popping them out!! Maybe he sees that as a threat to his manhood or a threat to the relationship which he wishes to dominate. Maybe it's his way of ultimately taking control, by getting you up the duff. Just tell him you "really really" don't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shoo gal Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 I would never be swayed by what others think, but obviously I would want them to support us in our decision and I just get the feeling that some people would be shocked, or dare I say it, disappointed if we decide not to go ahead! I'm more worried about my own mother actually, I'm an only child for her (my Dad re-married and had 5 kids) and she's longed for the day when I make her a Grandmother. And thanks for the tip Jessica, I'll have a look at the Child Free info! I know what you mean, I am an only child too, and my mum always makes jokes about when are we going to make her a grandmother, but I think she knows it's not going to happen. You can't have kids to make your mum happy - you're the one who will have to bring them up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeadingNorth Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 I'm a parent of two, I don't pretend to understand why people choose not to have kids. I more don't understand a childfree movement that pushes a childfree agenda to other people anymore than any anyother legal activity that people have a free choice to participate in. I've never done ice skating and I've no ambition to either, but starting a campaign for an ice skating free society would be somewhat futile and pointless, for example. Excessive ice skating is not likely to post a threat to the planet. Overpopulation, on the other hand, is already the biggest danger facing humanity and adding to the problem is hardly going to help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jessica23 Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 I'm a parent of two, I don't pretend to understand why people choose not to have kids. I more don't understand a childfree movement that pushes a childfree agenda to other people anymore than any anyother legal activity that people have a free choice to participate in. I've never done ice skating and I've no ambition to either, but starting a campaign for for an ice skating free society would be somewhat futile and pointless, for example. And if there was an overwhelming social pressure on people to go ice skating, would it make more sense then? Childless or childfree people, whatever terminology you prefer, are doing something comparatively unusual - it seems quite logical to me that they might want to get in touch with like-minded people. If they want to try and push an agenda that the vast majority of the world's population either won't or can't get on board with, then that's entirely down to them, no? I can't see any harm in it myself. They certainly don't get a lot of media attention - or have any political impact if the families rhetoric the politicians over here and in the USA spout is any indication. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jessica23 Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 I definitely feel pressured by society, occasionally I think maybe I should for my partners sake because I get it from so many angles that I am being selfish. [...] I have never and will never understand how anyone with half a brain could call a decision not to have children selfish. BAFFLING. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mj.scuba Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 Excessive ice skating is not likely to post a threat to the planet. Overpopulation, on the other hand, is already the biggest danger facing humanity and adding to the problem is hardly going to help. Still, it's a natural and legal thing to do, and people that want children are not going to be disuaded by people trying to guilt trip them into not doing. A pointless exercise in every sense imo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foxydebs Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 In my previous relationship I found that I had gynae problems and unable to conceive after having a miscarriage, we began fertility tests and medications but never got as far as IVF as we ended up splitting up. So in hindsight I am glad we didn't end up having children as I experienced my parents divorce as a child and it wasn't a nice time. I am now with a new man, who is older than me and who has a daughter from a previous relationship that lives with her mum. He still sees his daughter. Luckily he doesn't want any more kids. We both work, him full time and me part time (due to health problems I am having at the moment) but like the freedom that not having kids living with us brings, we can go where we want, when we want. I also don't feel like anything is missing and it really winds me up when people ask when are you two going to have kids? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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