Jason Bourne Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 BUT I find if I have a boyfriend he doesnt like me going out with him. Is he jealous or does he see you as his little sister who needs protecting? x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CharlieW Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 it's always possible, but equally there's room for complication. i have plenty of female friends i have no intention of sleeping with; i do think that attraction is an important aspect of the question. i've also had friendships which have gotten 'complicated', and even friendships which have turned into relationships. and, i know second hand of relationships which have ended with both ex-partners being able to remain close friends. but it's tough and potentially painful. i've just come out of a relationship which began with one of my best friends falling for me, followed by a tortured year of self-denial before i allowed myself to reciprocate. we lasted a year and a half but it was too intense, and illness on my partner's part drove her into a deep depression, which i followed. i still want to be with her, but she's cold to me now. not nice at all, and made so much worse by our platonic relationship before. i wouldn't want to change the fact that we did have time together, but the trauma of it ending is horrific. there are no rules with these things, no guidelines which are proven to work. a constant tightrope - but then again, so is everything. i think we create an awful lot of problems for ourselves by presuming that there's a set A-B-C to everything which we can follow. you've just gotta use your nous, learn from your mistakes and move forward. i don't think i'll be falling for a friend again any time soon... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the-lioness Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 I definately think you can be friends with the opposite sex, I certainly have plenty of males pals but usually (in fact 99%) of the time they are partners of my friends. And I wouldnt meet up with a male friend without my partner or other friends being around purely because my partner wouldnt like it and I wouldnt like it if he did the same I did have a very good male friend at uni, who nothing ever happened with, but just as we left uni he confessed he was madly in love with me . It didnt break the friendship because I was honest with him and he understood. Some girls just like the idea of any man fancying them so they will lead them on even if it ruins the friendship. A lot of girls are friends with blokes just to give them that boost of attention. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Blonde Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 Yes..................................................................................................................... Unless it's my fella, then I say NO! Stay away hehe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaimani Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 I definately think you can be friends with the opposite sex, I certainly have plenty of males pals but usually (in fact 99%) of the time they are partners of my friends. And I wouldnt meet up with a male friend without my partner or other friends being around purely because my partner wouldnt like it and I wouldnt like it if he did the same I did have a very good male friend at uni, who nothing ever happened with, but just as we left uni he confessed he was madly in love with me . It didnt break the friendship because I was honest with him and he understood. Some girls just like the idea of any man fancying them so they will lead them on even if it ruins the friendship. A lot of girls are friends with blokes just to give them that boost of attention. that sort of friend i get. i have loads, whom i do meet without the mrs though. we meet once or twice a year, have a couple of drinks etc and till next time. they call, and i call, every month or so and on it goes. when you start to do the exact same with them as you do with your same sex friends, if you're straight, i think it gets messy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KTHFB Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 Gosh, I've got a few male friends and have never contemplated anything other than friendship with them, or they me (as far as I know, obviously). It's just something that's never occurred to me. I've also got female friends that I've never wanted anything other than friendship with either, it goes both ways. Luckily I have a partner who isn't threatened by anyone as he knows he's the only one I want to be with. Plus, he could never tell me what to do or who to see anyway I've also got a couple of exes who I see infrequently, but stay in contact with and he's not threatened by that either. The relationships ended for a reason, but they were amicable splits so I've never seen any reason to fall out with them. This doesn't go for EVERY ex, but a couple of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaimani Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 Gosh, I've got a few male friends and have never contemplated anything other than friendship with them, or they me (as far as I know, obviously). It's just something that's never occurred to me. I've also got female friends that I've never wanted anything other than friendship with either, it goes both ways. Luckily I have a partner who isn't threatened by anyone as he knows he's the only one I want to be with. Plus, he could never tell me what to do or who to see anyway I've also got a couple of exes who I see infrequently, but stay in contact with and he's not threatened by that either. The relationships ended for a reason, but they were amicable splits so I've never seen any reason to fall out with them. This doesn't go for EVERY ex, but a couple of them. i would go as far as saying, and the mrs doesn't understand this, that, barring abuse etc, any ex you go out of your way to avoid would be the one i would be concerned by. it's healthy and fine, i'd say to see your exes, within reason, of course.:suspect: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the-lioness Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 Yep exactly. I think trouble starts if there are a certain single girls lets say , with a bit of a reputation, who hang around groups of attached males down the pub every week. they wouldnt be classed as 'friends' but more like 'opportunists' lol, you know what I mean. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaimani Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 Yep exactly. I think trouble starts if there are a certain single girls lets say , with a bit of a reputation, who hang around groups of attached males down the pub every week. they wouldnt be classed as 'friends' but more like 'opportunists' lol, you know what I mean. oi, we love girls with reputations down at the ale house. they touch us behind the ears and make us feel virile...before we return home to be well and truly neutered again... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KTHFB Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 i would go as far as saying, and the mrs doesn't understand this, that, barring abuse etc, any ex you go out of your way to avoid would be the one i would be concerned by. it's healthy and fine, i'd say to see your exes, within reason, of course.:suspect: I find it perfectly acceptable too. There's an ex who upset me in such a way that I couldn't speak to him again, but the others just fizzled out - but that's not to say I don't have anything in common with them anymore and don't enjoy their company - as I always did - but just in a different way. The fact I went out with them once doesn't actually come into it anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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