Alcoblog Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 Whilst minding my own business, walking to the newsagents on Crookes this morning, I couldn't help but notice Quentin Tarrantino looking very furtive and dodging through the 'Big Issue' vendors who litter the streets, trying to look very nondescript. My attention was drawn however to the B&Q 15 metre retractable tape measure he was brandishing in his left hand. Of course, I did what anyone else in this day and age would do and took no notice whatsoever. On my return from the lottery ticket vendors however, I (through the corner of my eye) noticed he was measuring up a plot of land at the top of Cobden View road (normally reserved for daffodils and poster hoardings ... oh yeah, and dog poo) with the aforesaid measuring instrument. Curiosity got the better of me ... when I returned safely home and secreted my lottery ticket in the toilet cistern (for safe keeping) I sparked up the old comp and did a bit of Googling. What a shock! ... Hit ground dirt with Crookes allotment societys website ... He's only been asked to do a remake of Armageddon hasn't he! He was casing the place out to see if he could transform it into an errant asteroid! My immediate thought was they'd have to bluescreen out the chip shop as this would look a trifle strange in the background of a space asteroid. however, I'm now wondering if I may be able to get a job as an extra ...maybe a space rock or something? Do you know what the going rate for space rock extras in a major Hollywood film made in Crookes by a major director are? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Squirrel Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 I think you should approach Mr Tarrantino (but not sneakily from behind - i hear he dosent like that) and offer your services to build the spaceship that would be used by Bruce Willis. Upon learning of Area 51 and a half's local research facility and in particular, your marginal success with the Frey Bentos interstellar asteroid interception craft, i think he would be a mere fool to ignore the potential that the Crookes facility craft could do for his film. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manofstrad Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 Whilst minding my own business, walking to the newsagents on Crookes this morning, I couldn't help but notice Quentin Tarrantino looking very furtive and dodging through the 'Big Issue' vendors who litter the streets, trying to look very nondescript. My attention was drawn however to the B&Q 15 metre retractable tape measure he was brandishing in his left hand. Of course, I did what anyone else in this day and age would do and took no notice whatsoever. On my return from the lottery ticket vendors however, I (through the corner of my eye) noticed he was measuring up a plot of land at the top of Cobden View road (normally reserved for daffodils and poster hoardings ... oh yeah, and dog poo) with the aforesaid measuring instrument. Curiosity got the better of me ... when I returned safely home and secreted my lottery ticket in the toilet cistern (for safe keeping) I sparked up the old comp and did a bit of Googling. What a shock! ... Hit ground dirt with Crookes allotment societys website ... He's only been asked to do a remake of Armageddon hasn't he! He was casing the place out to see if he could transform it into an errant asteroid! My immediate thought was they'd have to bluescreen out the chip shop as this would look a trifle strange in the background of a space asteroid. however, I'm now wondering if I may be able to get a job as an extra ...maybe a space rock or something? Do you know what the going rate for space rock extras in a major Hollywood film made in Crookes by a major director are? Are you sure it wasn't Quentin Crisp that you saw and he was merely admiring the daffodils? The tape measure thing does seem a bit far fetched. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stan Tamudo Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 Are you sure it wasn't Quentin Crisp that you saw and he was merely admiring the daffodils? It couldn't be Quentin Crisp, he passed away years ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manofstrad Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 It couldn't be Quentin Crisp, he passed away years ago. Ah yes, that's right! Must have been Tarrantino then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alcoblog Posted March 24, 2011 Author Share Posted March 24, 2011 Are you sure it wasn't Quentin Crisp that you saw and he was merely admiring the daffodils? The tape measure thing does seem a bit far fetched. Wash your mouth out! ... how dare you suggest my observations are 'far fetched' you ... you ... scoundrel! I certainly know the difference between 'Crispy pants' and Tazzer thank you very much! (Not in the Biblical sense, I hasten to add!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stan Tamudo Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 Wash your mouth out! ... how dare you suggest my observations are 'far fetched' you ... you ... scoundrel! I certainly know the difference between 'Crispy pants' and Tazzer thank you very much! (Not in the Biblical sense, I hasten to add!) :hihi: Old manofstrad is in a pickle, he thought he'd got his hands on this years Baron Munchausen award for tall tale telling but it seems he's got some healthy competition. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alcoblog Posted March 24, 2011 Author Share Posted March 24, 2011 :hihi: Old manofstrad is in a pickle, he thought he'd got his hands on this years Baron Munchausen award for tall tale telling but it seems he's got some healthy competition. Are you accusing me of telling porkies?! All the florists on Crookes are now selling daffodils with micrometeorite holes in them! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amaranthus Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 You are mistaken, it's not a remake of Armageddon. Mr Tarantino has moved into the porn business and is currently making plans to film Arma-get-it-on in Sheffield as he has heard about our great city's reputation and the notorious seedy brothels frequented by the majority of its citizens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manofstrad Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 You are mistaken, it's not a remake of Armageddon. Mr Tarantino has moved into the porn business and is currently making plans to film Arma-get-it-on in Sheffield as he has heard about our great city's reputation and the notorious seedy brothels frequented by the majority of its citizens. That's what I heard too, it's the sequal to 'Arm-ana-leg-over'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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