Anna B Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 Maybe the evening reception / disco is more of a party for the younger generation of the couples friends. Personally I'd be glad to be invited to the afternoon tea bit. Don't fall out over it, accept with good grace and enjoy it. Weddings are a minefield of etiquette, cost, number juggling etc. so don't take it personally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Total Chaos Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 Is it not more privileged to be invited to the actual wedding ceremony? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
medusa Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 Weddings are horrifically expensive and as the bride and groom you can guarantee that you're not going to have the money to be able to pay for everybody you DO want to invite, let alone all the people that you feel obliged to invite (distant relatives, friends of family, niece's mates etc) and someone, somewhere will have their nose put out of joint not just by who you have invited, but the date, location and every other detail of your day, from the colour of your dress to what you have to eat. When you plan a wedding you have to get your head around everybody else's expectations- the concept that it's your big day as a bride is twaddle whilst everybody else has forceful opinions that they aren't prepared to change. If you will be offended by not attending an evening party which may, as Strix says, not be 'your sort of thing' then it's completely up to you whether you attend at all. How offended would you have been if you were invited, booked a hotel overnight and then it turned out that it really wasn't an evening event that you enjoyed? The fact is that you were invited to the ceremony itself to help them celebrate. Would you prefer not to be invited at all? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scozzie Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 isn't the ceremony the most important part? I'd much rather see that, than watching a bunch of people get drunk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noob Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 Just turn up at night. They wont turn you away for fear of causing a scene, and just you can just pretend you thought the day invite meant the whole day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boyfriday Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 Weddings are horrifically expensive and as the bride and groom you can guarantee that you're not going to have the money to be able to pay for everybody you DO want to invite I suspect that's why my invitation to Kate & Wills' nuptials wasn't forthcoming Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Star Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 Friends son is getting married. We have been invited to the ceremony & afternoon tea in the church hall not the reception or disco in the evening. Feel very hurt as known the whole family well for 26 years. Know others going who have not known them for as long & as close as us. Disappointed as thought we were closer friends than we obviously are. Dont know whether to go or not. It's your friends son - I wouldn't dream of inviting my parents friends to my wedding... It's probably the bride and grooms friends who are invited to the night - although the night does tend to be the reserve of those who attended the ceremony and the meal, plus stragglers, as the wedding itself and the meal are the main part (and this is what you have been invited to!) If you choose not to go, the friends son probably won't care a jot - but you may offend your friend... Up to you... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chimay Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 A friend's daughter is getting married in June. The happy couple want a hog roast in the evening. The cost of the hog roast, size of the barn they are hiring etc is dictating how many guests they can invite to the evening 'do'. This is causing major family upsets as they try to 'rationalise' their guest list. I think Scozzie is right. The ceremony is the most important bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanes teeth Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 You don't have to be invited to the ceremony in a church. Anyone can go into church whenever it is open. In fact I think I'll go to church on Friday.Should I go to St Pauls or the abbey? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rubydazzler Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 I'm shocked, how ungrateful to be cavilling at having an invite to a wedding and a tea party, especially as you are only a friend of the parents of one of the happy couple. Why do you feel you should be invited to the reception and the evening 'do' as well? The evening do is usually for friends of the bride and groom, not all the neighbours and old family friends. You'd need a massive venue if you invited everyone you and your family had ever known. It just can't work like that. I think your friends would feel slighted if you refuse. I mean look at it this way, the most powerful man in the world and the President of the USA, our closest ally, hasn't had an invite to William's wedding, not even to afternoon tea! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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