vickycound Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 someone i know has the same problem its either of sentimental value or they may need it what their relatives did (but cruel in a way but true) is thingsthey had more than one of ask around if people wanted them took teddys to childrens hospital etc eventually it minimed alot of things down but alot of it had to go in the bin but they do now have alot more room and alot less "rubbish" as people may see it being! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Green Web Posted May 17, 2011 Author Share Posted May 17, 2011 I agree, you've done your best. In hindsight, had you realised the scale of the problem earlier, you would have probably tackled it in a totally different way. I recognise a lot of my problems with hoarding in what you've said about your uncle, the thinking that people are trying to take over and domineering over him, reluctance to let go, etc. It's probably OCD but, depending on his age, it could also be early stage dementia? I'm glad you're not washing your hands of him totally, as he does need your help, he just doesn't realise right now the situation he's in. But he will! Yes I admit I didn't handle it well and certainly would have done it differently, I'm more annoyed with my brother for telling my uncle about me dumping my stuff which was worth money, hence why there is still no progress and have now had to pay the landlord 4 weeks more rent because of all the stuff still left to shift. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aries22 Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 I would help him pack with the things you know he will need, and tell him you will fetch the rest later. When he see's how much space he got on the new place maybe he will change his mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Sidney Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 I've worked with many hoarders over the years. Tenants who's properties have become a health hazzard or a health and safety issue, like a fire risk. There's all different severities, but I feel its a form of OCD, or they had some mild form of mental illness. We use all sorts of tactics. Like getting them to do it over an extended period of time, doing one room at a time. But in some cases they still refused. Even if it meant loosing their home. I'm not talking family heir looms, keeps sakes or even furniture but things like newspaper and on one occasion toy cars. Thousands of them, you couldn't move. Someone suggested I should put little clamps on them!!... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandad.Malky Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 It's a nightmare and I can't begin to tell you how stressed and agitated I am right now. Ruby we have found some common ground at last ………….. is it you that as this problem or a member of your family? ……….. My mother was like this in her old house, a lifetime of junk piled in every room. We sorted this out and got her into a sheltered accommodation bungalow but she is at it again ……… it drives me mad but to her it’s quite normal, we have had the social services involved and the doctor but at the end of the day there is nothing you can do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metalman Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 I've worked with many hoarders over the years. Tenants who's properties have become a health hazzard or a health and safety issue, like a fire risk. There's all different severities, but I feel its a form of OCD, or they had some mild form of mental illness. We use all sorts of tactics. Like getting them to do it over an extended period of time, doing one room at a time. But in some cases they still refused. Even if it meant loosing their home. I'm not talking family heir looms, keeps sakes or even furniture but things like newspaper and on one occasion toy cars. Thousands of them, you couldn't move. Someone suggested I should put little clamps on them!!... This is exactly the sort of thing I mean... why shouldn't someone collect toy cars if they want to? It's not a fire hazard or a health hazard so why not just let them get on with their lives and stop being an interfering busybody? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metalman Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 In the extremes it can be unhealthy as the sheer amount of junk prevents you from being able to clean the house properly. I don't understand hoarding as I'm the total opposite... So why is your way right and their way wrong? We don't all want to live in a minimalist house with nothing in it. I'm with shims on this one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomataheeed Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 Not on the same scale but my other half and I are different...she's a bit of a hoarder. We go through stuff with a triage mentality.. 1.Defo keep 2.Defo get rid ( sell, charity shop freecycle) 3.Don't know 4 repeat. it works eventually, and we both find we are guilty of buying the same stuff over and over. We got a load of clothes out and my other half realised that she had basically bought the same item of clothing over and over...slightly diff style form different shops, but 12 tops similar colour, and shape over a 2 year period. She only needed 3 of them in the end. So its also helped not doing it again... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloomdido Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 As of now I have given up, I hate doing this but if he wants help with moving he knows where to contact me, I have spare cash, some time, an estate car and loads of really useful boxes to help him pack, like a lot of issues, you can only help people who will acknowledge they may a have a problem want to be helped. Agreed. I had to pack in a friendship with someone for this reason. He kept newspapers, opened envelopes, pringles boxes, eggshells, pretty much everything. Even used to bring home sea water in bottles. And the house smelled. Despite being told on several occasions, he did nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Sidney Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 This is exactly the sort of thing I mean... why shouldn't someone collect toy cars if they want to? It's not a fire hazard or a health hazard so why not just let them get on with their lives and stop being an interfering busybody? Boilers can't be serviced. Repairs can't be carried out. Emergency services can't get proper access. It depends at what stage you say enough is enough. How many would be too many in your opinion? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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