Jessica23 Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 I feel a bit of a rant coming on. All this advice on being careful, and sensible, and minimising the risks of this and that, not making yourself vulnerable, the debate about whether dressing like a slut means you are a slut and all the rest of it - THIS HURTS MY HEAD. It hurts my head because as soon as I was old enough to start caring about gender politics and learning about how the world works and discovered that violence against women, perpetrated by men, is a global problem, it has been on my mind. I have given this issue a hell of a lot of thought. I have done a vast amount of reading. I have consumed advice on how to minimise the risks of sexual assault, statistics on rape and harassment, government reports on domestic violence and all the miserable rest of it until my EYES ARE BLEEDING. I am fed up, to be honest. It is depressing to contemplate. I have never carried a rape alarm. I have never walked home in pairs if that wasn't convenient for me. I have never let the fear of sexual assault have even the slightest influence over my clothing choices (and let's face it, experiencing harassment on occasions too numerous to count when you're wearing everything from school uniform to Doc Martens and baggy jeans is the best evidence you need that CLOTHES DON'T MATTER.) I decided, probably after reading that most rapes are carried out by partners, ex-partners and people known to the victim, that it was not worth my time and energy to be worrying about this. Which, of course, is not to say that it doesn't make me FURIOUS when it happens. Of course it does. But if I hear one more man tell me that I should behave in a certain way to minimise the risk of me being attacked BY MEN I might well have some kind of coronary. Eff you, quite frankly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quisquose Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 I feel a bit of a rant coming on. All this advice on being careful, and sensible, and minimising the risks of this and that, not making yourself vulnerable, the debate about whether dressing like a slut means you are a slut and all the rest of it - THIS HURTS MY HEAD. It hurts my head because as soon as I was old enough to start caring about gender politics and learning about how the world works and discovered that violence against women, perpetrated by men, is a global problem, it has been on my mind. I have given this issue a hell of a lot of thought. I have done a vast amount of reading. I have consumed advice on how to minimise the risks of sexual assault, statistics on rape and harassment, government reports on domestic violence and all the miserable rest of it until my EYES ARE BLEEDING. I am fed up, to be honest. It is depressing to contemplate. I have never carried a rape alarm. I have never walked home in pairs if that wasn't convenient for me. I have never let the fear of sexual assault have even the slightest influence over my clothing choices (and let's face it, experiencing harassment on occasions too numerous to count when you're wearing everything from school uniform to Doc Martens and baggy jeans is the best evidence you need that CLOTHES DON'T MATTER.) I decided, probably after reading that most rapes are carried out by partners, ex-partners and people known to the victim, that it was not worth my time and energy to be worrying about this. Which, of course, is not to say that it doesn't make me FURIOUS when it happens. Of course it does. But if I hear one more man tell me that I should behave in a certain way to minimise the risk of me being attacked BY MEN I might well have some kind of coronary. Eff you, quite frankly. Well said. I'm constructing another rant in my head now, for writing down later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 [snipped for space]...But if I hear one more man tell me that I should behave in a certain way to minimise the risk of me being attacked BY MEN I might well have some kind of coronary. Eff you, quite frankly. Very well said, as ever, Jessica23. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MC Spyda Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 I feel a bit of a rant coming on. All this advice on being careful, and sensible, and minimising the risks of this and that, not making yourself vulnerable, the debate about whether dressing like a slut means you are a slut and all the rest of it - THIS HURTS MY HEAD. It hurts my head because as soon as I was old enough to start caring about gender politics and learning about how the world works and discovered that violence against women, perpetrated by men, is a global problem, it has been on my mind. I have given this issue a hell of a lot of thought. I have done a vast amount of reading. I have consumed advice on how to minimise the risks of sexual assault, statistics on rape and harassment, government reports on domestic violence and all the miserable rest of it until my EYES ARE BLEEDING. I am fed up, to be honest. It is depressing to contemplate. I have never carried a rape alarm. I have never walked home in pairs if that wasn't convenient for me. I have never let the fear of sexual assault have even the slightest influence over my clothing choices (and let's face it, experiencing harassment on occasions too numerous to count when you're wearing everything from school uniform to Doc Martens and baggy jeans is the best evidence you need that CLOTHES DON'T MATTER.) I decided, probably after reading that most rapes are carried out by partners, ex-partners and people known to the victim, that it was not worth my time and energy to be worrying about this. Which, of course, is not to say that it doesn't make me FURIOUS when it happens. Of course it does. But if I hear one more man tell me that I should behave in a certain way to minimise the risk of me being attacked BY MEN I might well have some kind of coronary. Eff you, quite frankly. You should try not behave like a slut if you want to lessen the chances of being sexually attacked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evildrneil Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 I thought we were all being honest, like how we accept that clothes affect behaviour... Are you saying that someone that ignores advice doesn't get blamed for it if the thing the advice is supposed to avoid happens? That depends entirely on the advice. If I advice you not to jump of a cliff and you do then I would blame you. If however it's a situation where following the advice may help but not necessarily then no. Lets take a real world example: From the BUPA website. It's important that you start taking folic acid supplements as soon as you start trying for a baby or realise you are pregnant. The recommended dose is 400 micrograms (0.4mg) daily, which you should take as well as meeting the recommended intake of 200 micrograms in your diet. If someone chooses not to take the folic acid that they "should" and has a baby with a neural tube defect would they be blamed? Of course not. Some people can take the folic acid and still have babies with neural tube defects and others will not take the folic acid and have babies that are fine. The difference is between a situation where you have complete control of the risks (do you jump off the cliff or not) and a situation where the risks are outside of your control but you may be able to mitigate some of the risks through your actions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evildrneil Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 But if I hear one more man tell me that I should behave in a certain way to minimise the risk of me being attacked BY MEN I might well have some kind of coronary. Eff you, quite frankly. Here you go then - from a woman so you can have the sensible advice without the coronary... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fibutton Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 In my working capacity I have found that women, adolescent females (and males), that have been sexually assaulted or raped have NOT been dressed inappropriately in any way. A sexual predator is more likely to prey on and exploit the insecure and vulnerable rather than someone who is wearing a short skirt or tight trousers. In my opinion, people can wear what they want when they want, what needs to happen is that potential offenders need to realise that NO means NO, in any given situation......If only I had a magic wand and this could be made possible! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Sidney Posted June 28, 2011 Author Share Posted June 28, 2011 I feel a bit of a rant coming on. All this advice on being careful, and sensible, and minimising the risks of this and that, not making yourself vulnerable, the debate about whether dressing like a slut means you are a slut and all the rest of it - THIS HURTS MY HEAD. It hurts my head because as soon as I was old enough to start caring about gender politics and learning about how the world works and discovered that violence against women, perpetrated by men, is a global problem, it has been on my mind. I have given this issue a hell of a lot of thought. I have done a vast amount of reading. I have consumed advice on how to minimise the risks of sexual assault, statistics on rape and harassment, government reports on domestic violence and all the miserable rest of it until my EYES ARE BLEEDING. I am fed up, to be honest. It is depressing to contemplate. I have never carried a rape alarm. I have never walked home in pairs if that wasn't convenient for me. I have never let the fear of sexual assault have even the slightest influence over my clothing choices (and let's face it, experiencing harassment on occasions too numerous to count when you're wearing everything from school uniform to Doc Martens and baggy jeans is the best evidence you need that CLOTHES DON'T MATTER.) I decided, probably after reading that most rapes are carried out by partners, ex-partners and people known to the victim, that it was not worth my time and energy to be worrying about this. Which, of course, is not to say that it doesn't make me FURIOUS when it happens. Of course it does. But if I hear one more man tell me that I should behave in a certain way to minimise the risk of me being attacked BY MEN I might well have some kind of coronary. Eff you, quite frankly. Basically, you need to forget everything you've ever read and go back to square one, because you're wrong... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MC Spyda Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 Be interesting if we could hear the views of sexual predators on this... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fibutton Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 Be interesting if we could hear the views of sexual predators on this... Do you want to borrow my magic wand? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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